i am so unable to accept a loss, in fact never have been. it was a little easier to let it roll off my back when i had a big enough roll to be able to lose without it affecting my ability to play in the future so much.
heres a hand from the other day at the rio, which i never mentioned, or maybe this hand came from ballys the other day. all i remember was i played it because i was frustrated and mad, and it just made my loss worse.
i hadnt been getting much to play and i was stuck, and i got A7 suited and called along with quite a few others. and then the guy on my left made a big raise preflop who'd did that a few times with hands as weak as JK off. so i called him, along with 4 others. flop comes Q67 with 2 parts to a flush, and all check to me, and the only guy left to act is the preflop raiser. i shove cause im pissed, and do not give him credit for a pair or a queen. he calls, all others fold, and i ended up losing to 99.
ok now on to todays evening here at ballys. i went down, bought in $100, wasnt getting anywhere, at one point was $21 ahead, and get frustrated when i made a good read but still got beat. there was an aggressive young guy whod been shoving more than usual. i raised to $15 preflop with AK, (wouldve done a lot better drastically overshoving allin) and got 1 call from him. flop comes Q45 and i doubted that hit his $5 straddle, that he just called with. but i checked, (was that wrong) and figured id let him bluff. he bets $20 and i call. 5 pairs the turn, he bets $40 and i talk about how im sure im beat, asks him if he will show and he says nothing, and i call. river comes 8, and he puts me allin for about $45 more and i know i must be beat if he bets again but i call. he had K8 and hit the river. would i been able to get him out if raised him allin on the turn or did i have so few chips he was pot committed? i dont know.
but i feel like i lost because i wasnt buying in enough. yet i dont feel like i can afford to buyin $200 instead of $100. so i rebought my oddball $96 and eventually lost it, i think by playing badly.
so i was so dammed mad i couldnt beat that jackass i went out and stuck $100 in a machine played a long time, actually went from being stuck almost $50 more on the machine to being $1 up on the machine, and then wouldnt quit and eventually left the machine down $93 of the $100. and now im in my room to sleep with a roll of only $4700