i need to make a list of all that needs to be done, to help facilitate my staying alive and not going under, and this blog remaining open. for it wont if i can no longer pay $80 a month net, and $90 a month phone.
am still surviving out here alone and isolated in the NV desert, after about 8 hours or so of play, and mostly spreading $1-6 (the vast majority 1 hand $1) and on very rare occasions a hand or more of $9, i finally eked out $24 profit, enough to bring me back over the $1300 mark again, and then used my comps to get my room paid up til monday now instead of up to saturday. am staving off homelessness one day at a time. still dont feel like i have nearly enough on lock to grind in the room only. out of total fear, ive cut out $5 and up sngs, only am playing the $2 ones, and cash games of not bigger than 2c4c NL or PL and 5c10c at the highest. ($3 min buyin in that game). and of course, it being so simple to do so online compared to a live table, am hitting and running constantly to stay in action.
but somehow ive managed to get my last $4 on lock all the way up to $16. i cannot earn enough a day to make a living at these limits, unless someone i fully trusted let me live there 100% FREE. and provided food too. which is precisely why im afraid to come back to vegas. nowhere to live, and no way to eat. id pretty much have to return to vegas to look for work, (or any other BIG city) and the minute i got there id be homeless. can u actually picture me spending money on housing with this little money? probably u cant. with this money in vegas, id either be playing $1-5 stud at sams town 8am to 1pm, $2-6 spread at tx station anytime of day, or $2-6 spread at the riv on the rare occasions it would actually go. wouldnt mind someone posting here how often its been going lately. maybe a little $50 min buyin $1-2 NL in the afternoon during aces cracked at hooters, but not likely. and certainly couldnt afford any $100 min buyin games or anywhere thats $1-3.
of course if i was playing with a friends money, thats different, id be playing the game and casino they want me to play in. What i mean is im not going to put my own bankroll at risk. u claim by me staying and playing here i am putting my bankroll at risk? well yes in a way, but i trust the math a lot more than i trust peoples opinions, or my poker skills, and the math says its impossible to ever go broke if u dont ever bet over 1/200th of ur roll at BJ. i am putting it at risk of going down $100 or more anytime though, and thats pretty scary in and of itself.
so how much should i have on lock? and doesnt any of my readers besides vook play on lock since it moved to the cake network? and in the smallest of microstakes, playing only 1-2 tables at a time, what do u think the winrate should be on average per hour, (over $1 or not?) and is it beatable? i know the math at VBJ because of memorization when young, the actual figuring is a little harder and more work. it would require lots of stats i dont have but im sure some of u have played online and tracked ur results. especially flushdraw. as low as my roll is, even though i know by far the safest way to never lose it is to only play online with that little to work with, should i really risk putting it online now or should i wait til sometime next january after online poker is up and running just to be safe?
how many readers in NV are planning to play online once that happens, and how easy to win do they think it will be? id really like opinions on this, and would like to know of any poker forums in which there is a thread discussing this, and of course u are more than welcome to repost the link here.
there is NO way i could ever go broke online if i only played there with the full $1300. (using the right bankroll management i mean). i could however easily go broke making sure i slept indoors everyday and had a base of operations to play in. u see if i returned to vegas now and paid for rooms by the week, id be totally penniless in 7 weeks on housing costs alone if i took a place to live. which is what scares me so much.
not even counting food, transportation, or anything else. also i havent paid nov mailbox renewal fee, now 3 days past due, and have no way to pay it. i guess all my mail going to the flamingo will get sent back, and then i worry about the bank closing my bank acct, and no way to tell the government my address, etc. running out of money causes a huge host of problems normal people never even think of.
and my biggest concern is whats gonna happen when i need clean clothes again. well not my biggest of course.
id consider trying just grinding poker with the measly balance i had left, if i had transportation from someone back and forth to the casino and they were willing to sit in the game with me, or at least be nearby for when it was time to go. thats why i miss not having any close friends. close friends dont allow those they care about to fall into the cracks. Jesus says that we are supposed to love and help those who are not able to help us back. But now days no one wants to believe or follow the teachings of the Bible anymore. One of the greatest teachings of the Bible is to take care of the poor, and that didnt mean getting them on the govt dole, and expecting the govt to do it. it meant to do it yourself. Not to go out and tell them to find work either, but to actually offer them a job. i dont think anyone in their right mind actaully believes an employer would hire me with my background and issues in this economy. if i went in any place to apply, theyd laugh me right out.
but saying i could stay with someone for a week isnt really a solution, because what happens when the week is up? thats why ive turned it down, and also because i didnt know them really well, and they did something i dont want to say that made me highly uncomfortable. what i need is to be into an apt for longterm, (to me that means at least a month or so). the less expensive the better, because the MORE id want to make sure i never lost it and kept it longterm. like for example, someone i trust to rent me property they own (and dont live in) for like $75 a week or less, so id never have to worry about NOT being able to afford it, or having to leave, and there couldnt be any other tenants in the area id be living, (meaning if it was a room off a hallway, id need my own private entrance to the outdoors without going thru any common areas of the house, and a good lock). living in someones basement or garage would be acceptable because then id have the place all to myself. But im not comfortable living with strangers, which would mean id have to know them at least as well as i know lightning or grump.
i also dont see how anyone who voted democrat (in an attempt to kill off the few jobs that remained) can expect me to go find employment, being completely undesirable in the employment market, being the wrong race, the wrong sex, and with no work history and experience. i also dont understand how a lawyer on the east coast can vote democrat since he makes a lot of money, and i would think hed not want to pay higher taxes. nor do i understand how a farmer or a doctor would.
the one nice employee working here was on duty again this graveyard shift, and he gave me 3 more of those buffet tickets, my one meal of the day. but i do kind of wish i had food in my room.
yeah, finding someone to take me back here from a night of poker wont be easy, but it would enable me to try poker instead of losing it all on VBJ. although i dont think i will, or id already be broke. But easier would be growing my roll on lock a bit so i can devote more time to playing there. i did win my first 2 $2 sngs while typing this blog post, so i am now up to $20 on lock. would also love others opinions as to whether i am better off playing the turbo or the non-turbo double or nothing sngs, and im not sure who is most qualified to answer. i think very few of my readers actually play these, and i would like a list of all who do.
also, i wish all the negative political commentary here would cease, when i try and warn others as to all the terrible things happening in this country the mainstream media tries to keep out, and u need sites like worldnetdaily, godfather politics, and grassfire.net to find out the truth. those sites are about the only news sites i can really trust, even more so than Fox. they cover stories Fox is not comfortable covering, (sometimes fox is a RINO republican in the John Boehner mold instead of a real conservative). Jerome Corsi has the guts to speak out though. what im saying is the liberals dominate this blog too much, and the conservatives need the guts to speak up.