Monday, November 12, 2012

just trying to survive, and figure out what my options are. now is when i need friends more than i ever have.

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ok to start with in case herbie or anyone else wants to know, yes i finally got around to checking out the video craps machine also, and i was right about it not being a better game. someone told me before it was because u can get points on the odds bet without any house edge at binions. thats true, but u still have to make a pass or dont pass bet with odds of about 1.5% in favor of the house. on the VBJ, odds in favor of the house only about 0.3 to 0.4%. (if u play the hands correctly, many dont). at binions u must bet $20 on the craps machine for a point too, and VBJ only $8 coin in. so i thought id see the machine here. now here its still the same comp rate for coin in, doesnt matter if its VBJ or craps. but the max odds is only double odds, so if u take full odds everytime u are still losing 1.5% on 1/3rd of the money wagered and nothing on the other 2/3rd so maybe u are losing 0.5% instead of 1.5% IF the passline and odds bet are the ONLY bets ur making, most people make many bets at craps. also craps is terribly slow, so i still think the VBJ has to be better payback than the craps.

But at least no one can now say i havent looked at it to see if theres a way it could be beaten with comps.

also i must congratulate the hotel on its good service, the heater is now working fine in the room totally silent of the loud racket the other day and my room is no longer cold. feels good in here.

used the last buffet voucher i had today, hope the same guy is working tonight and gives me more. the buffet here really isnt much, but i eat anything. also im only eating once a day. not just out of poverty, but also out of habit a lot over the years when i was poor and didnt have a home fridge with food in it.

really bothers me i cant just sit in my room til saturday and grind out a few hundred in profits online, but they just have too low of stakes, too good of players on lock and i just dont have the money to risk dividing up my roll in this way. am back to $4 online and i only sent vook $17 the other day to deposit because i was too broke to deposit more, and now with $1200 im much more broke now.

played earlier for only about 45 minutes, never made a bet over $6, somehow managed to quit $20 ahead, and decided to return to the room. as little as i have and as poorly as ive done lately that seems like a good win. i could survive on that if i had a free room daily, but i think i only played long enough for like $1 in comps.

wish one friend in vegas would come and let me stay with them free but the only one i trust is vince and he cant, but if anyone can pay my rent to get me into an apt would be nice, and also a bike or a bus pass, i could give them my word id only play poker but with only $1200 i dont know what i could possibly afford to play, unless it was $2-6 spread at texas, riviera if it still goes, or $1-5 stud mornings at sams town. i dont know if thats enough to play $4-8 stud8 at suncoast, i doubt it. surely aint enough for NL, thats only $12 buyins, maybe enough if i was playing hooters with $50 during 2-7pm promo. but i dont really want to play NL with that little. what i do need is a stake. a rather large size stake or loan of about $2000 or more, and also money for housing included in it so i wouldnt have to use the stake for a room.

i can still get up to 6 free nights a month every 2 weeks in vegas. (2 3 days segments). the other 25 days id be homeless each month. now its hard to see how i can come back to vegas, my rooms here will soon dry up as my money dwindles and my bets become so small i earn very little comps. am barely over $1200 and cannot access all that, have to leave enough in the bank to function, and only have $458 of that in cash. the rest is in the bank or a little bit remaining on a walmart debitcard. so unless i had a free place to live, or someone else paid the rent, i cant go to vegas. also would need a stake if i was going to play $1-2.

its been many years since ive been this broke, havent slept outdoors in about 10 yrs either. am too old to be this broke. wish Jason wouldnt have told me. i couldve stayed in laughlin with the $2800 i left with and played $2-6 but thats not beatable either because of the way laughlin does thier $2 jackpot drop on $20. was very surprised to hear thats NOT how the riv takes their drop, i thought all places with a $2 jackpot drop did it that way. i wonder if others dont either?

theres a lot of comments i should address, but it would take so many hours i dont think ill address them all, and if i do it will be a ways into the future.

yeah i was told all my life as a child when the public schools wanted me to have psychological counseling and my mom moved me to private schools cause she was worried about a social worker taking me away from her due to social problems i was having in the public schools mom said that if the counselor isnt a Christian they will counsel u to turn away from Jesus Christ and his teachings, and blame the Bible for ur problems. so she was afraid of counselors, she thought they would consider her Christian beliefs the reason i had emotional problems, and would try and talk me out of believing the Bible is true. so this worried me about lightning so i was surprised and im glad lightning is a Christian, i was so afraid of him last year when i found out he was a counselor and it had a huge effect in why i didnt want to meet him at the train and wasted all that money on cabs. id forgot that he ever sent me the pants. anyway i never heard from Rachel, i doubt they would want to counsel me again. But id gladly try to go somewhere if the incentive was right, such as being given the large sum of money id need for housing and an adequate poker stake, maybe even on lock so i could sit at home, but i cant have a $150-200 a week rent over my head, the most i could afford is like $60 a week.

renting a room in a rooming house is one thing, when only u go to ur room and u lock the door and share a bathroom down the hall. being in someones house scares me, where rooms are normal bedrooms without locks and others around constantly. i am so used to total privacy.

michele bachmanns husband ran a counseling service, and i know she is a good person and can be trusted, is one of few people in congress such as allen west willing to speak the truth. alot of people troubled about their homosexuality and wanting to talk to someone who wanted to come to grips with their beliefs about it being sinful and wanting to somehow get out of it and lead a normal life, went to her husband for help, and a lot of them got it and are now married to a woman living normal lives. its such a lie to say people are born that way. is a child molestor born a child molester? is a rapist born a rapist? is a thief born a thief? is a cheater born a cheater? people who are bisexual, they arent making a conscious choice who they choose to have sex with on any given event same as a gay person makes a conscience choice?

its just hard finding a good counselor is all, dont want to give up poker, just want to learn to manage my bankroll and not be in a rush to get even. got to learn how to accept a small loss and quit, and to not play games with poor paybacks. a lot of what i lost this summer was on much worse paybacks, of say 97-98%, if i had that money back the more recent losses i couldve had enough to ride them out.

the money i lost on anything under 98% was 100% stupid and i feel like such as idiot everytime i had a big loss on like the BJ machine at wynn for example, or the VP at the hardrock, or at harrahs properties. i certainly did waste a lot of money foolishly. and im paying for it severly now. it was a terrible sin in the eyes of almighty God, just as much so as gay sex. And i guess thats why ive been so hard on gay sex, i feel i do so many other sins, i worry i wont go up when the rapture takes place and if u watch dr jack van impe (mom and grandmas favorite pastor) its coming very soon, and mom tells me all the time she is worried my heart isnt right with God, even though she knows i believe in him unlike the vast majority of sinners. She isnt sure theologically if all Christians are really going up, or just those who arent living in sin. so i feel like if i can prove to God i accept the Bible as truth and believe he created us and what he says in his word is sin is still a sin, maybe he will understand my emotional disability he created me with and not be as hard on me as i struggle to do the right things and live for him. its not that i care about homosexuality any, the issue really dont affect me personally at all if gays marry or not. but it does really bother me some because i feel that gays or gay rights supporters dont believe in the first amendment or free speech due to the laws they have passed on "hate speech" used to silence pastors who say its sin. i worry about the lawsuits they are forcing on religious believers who just want to be left alone, and not be forced to take part in it, such as letting it happen in their church or property or business etc. all of whom are now getting sued, and all the chaplains being fired in the military for not wanting to marry gays and counsel them its ok when they believe that NO its not ok becuase thats what the bible says.

people who are in the minority belief (christains nowdays--especially in the middle east) should have their religious beliefs protected at all cost, no matter what their religion, and that includes Jews, who get persecuted alot around the world. God has a real love for the Jewish people and the state of israel, Romney understood this, obama doesnt. he is on the other side. Romney too, unlike obama, believes in protecting religious freedom and not being forced to go against what u believe just because the govt says to do it.

and i already knew about all them succession petions, and signed them, but of course the vast majority of the citizens would have to agree, so i highly doubt it would ever get passed in any state. but if it ever did, they would certainly have the right to do so, especially texas. but the citizens of tx wouldnt agree, theres too many there who will say no.


48 comments:

  1. "i could give them my word id only play poker"

    Too bad your word isn't worth anything. You've lied about not playing machines in order to get somebody to stake you before. You've also repeatedly broken promises to people not to play machines--including Claudia, whom you claimed to love. You didn't even keep that promise for 12 hours.

    Anybody who would believe a promise from you about your future conduct with respect to gambling either doesn't know your history or is a fool.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "But id gladly try to go somewhere if the incentive was right, such as being given the large sum of money id need for housing and an adequate poker stake"

    How about going because you feel that you need the help? If you do it just to be going through the motions in order to earn some reward, the way you did the first time around, the results will be exactly the same--nothing useful will come of it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. " i certainly did waste a lot of money foolishly. and im paying for it severly now. it was a terrible sin in the eyes of almighty God"

    So playing VBJ where the payback is 98% or less is a terrible sin, but playing VBJ with better payback is A-OK with God?

    I think I'm gonna need a specific biblical citation for that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe you missed Evictus 2:14 where it talks about this exact scenerio

      Delete
  4. "but if it ever did, they would certainly have the right to do so, especially texas"

    We settled this question back in the 1860. Little thing called the "civil war." You might want to read up on it.

    We decided that no, states don't have the right to secede, even when that's what most of their citizens want.

    If you show me where in the constitution it says that a state can withdraw from the union and describes what the legal mechanism is, I'll be happy to look at it and see if I should change my mind. But I'm thinking you won't find any such language.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This post deserves a triple face palm. Your mom really did a number on you.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Tony, may be you should post this on Neverbeg.

    The part about you only playing poker if someone backs you, I don't believe it for one minute. You've lied several times before, you have zero credibility.

    The part about going to counselling if someone gives you money or gifts, that is just sad. You have to go because you want to get better, not for exchange of gifts. I totally wasted my time talking to counsellors and finding a place for you last time, and you went only twice. Did you go because Josie or someone else gave you gifts in order for you to go? I hope no one falls for this again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. if u remember i am banned at neverbeg, the owner of that forum thought i was too much drama

      Delete
    2. Tony, how about answering Pokerdogg's question. Did you go because Josie or someone else gave you gifts in order for you to go? I will assume no answer is an affirmative.

      Delete
    3. Yes, Josie offered to send him a care package.
      Included shirts and pants and gift cards and all kinds of crap.
      He went and she sent him the stuff.
      He went one more time and when the stuff arrived he stopped going

      Delete
    4. Tony, the suggestion to post at Neverbeg was a joke, since your entire post was pretty much begging for money/housing/whatever.

      Your response was priceless, I couldn't have scripted it better myself.

      Delete
  7. man do i need a coat, this is the only time ive been outside in a long time, and i had no idea how bitter cold it was when i walked over to the gas station. certainly isnt a good time to be homeless. need to get a bus to san diego and sleep outdoors where its warmer and spend the days panhandling to earn about $25 a day til the roll gets high enough to play a little $1-3 stud at sycuan, or high enough to put $100 on lock. hope i dont lose this $2 sng or the cash 2c 4cent game im also in, i had about $5 on lock is all thats left. i only earned about $8 in comps today, played so little with betting so little, not near enough for saturdays room, and used it all on 3 food items at the gas station. i did however have 2 winning sessions, one for $20 before my blog post, and one for $29 after the blog post, both times not a single bet was ever over $6 on a hand. so i followed the system correctly today. i no longer have the money to violate the bankroll rules and am now way too scared to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Instead of panhandling how about trying to get a job Tony. Tony why do you refuse to work? If you would only listen to the excellent free advice members on this forum have given you would be way better off. Good luck...

      Delete
  8. remember the last time i was playing a tourny on someone elses behalf, i won for them, and everyone thought i didnt ask for enough on the stake. so im still a good horse as long as i dont have to sweat the entry fee.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You should change friends to hand outs in your title.

    And why go to counselling when you don't want to quit VBJ? You love VBJ more than life itself and actually want a handout from someone so you have access to more money to lose at it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He should change the blog title to grinding low stakes VBJ.

      Delete
  10. http://townhall.com/tipsheet/heatherginsberg/2012/11/10/breaking_massive_voter_fraud_in_st_lucie_county_florida

    by heather ginsberg












    Sign-Up



    On Tuesday only one precinct had less than 113% turnout. “The Unofficial vote count is 175,554 registered voters 247,713 vote cards cast (141.10% ). The National SEAL Museum, a St. Lucie county polling place, had 158.85% voter turn out, the highest in the county.”

    The Supervisor of Elections, Gertrude Walker, had this to say concerning the 141% voter turnout: “They may have had something like that in Palm Beach County, but we’ve never seen that here.”

    So maybe Allen West wasn’t crazy to ask for a lock-down on the ballot boxes and machines in this county. According to the report given the day after elections, Allen B. West garnered 52,625 votes in St.Lucie county and Patrick Murphy 65,896 votes.

    This is a problem that must be addressed right away. There is no reason that there should ever be more than 100% turnout. This county alone could have cost Allen West his election. Voter fraud is real, and it is time that this be solved.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tony, what kind of morons/liars wrote these articles, and what kind of fools do they expect to rile up? If you spend 30 seconds to google St. Lucie county voters, you will find on the front page for the St. Lucie Supervisor of elections, this particular piece of information:

      "note* - turnout percentages will show over 100% due to a two page ballot. the tabulation system (GEMS) provides voter turnout as equal to the total cards cast in the election divided by the number of registered voters. also note that some voters chose not to return by mail the second card containing the amendments."

      http://www.slcelections.com/

      Delete
  11. Panhandling to get enough money to put on lock? Are you friggin kidding?

    What about getting a job? Actually contributing something to society.

    I don't have a problem with anyone trying to gamble for a living, but if it fails go get a job, not just beg enough off others to restart the same doomed cycle. This whole blog entry is just a competely desperate and transparent plea for money to continue gambling. And all under the guise of i need friends.

    You need help alright to snap out of this dreamworld that you are living in. Getting a job would not only stave off homelessness, but also teach you a little about hard work and discipline that you lack other areas. You could also start to rebuild a roll.

    How you have got the face to go back to begging is beyond my comprehension. Take some responsibility for yourself and see how quickly things can get better. Are you allergic to work?

    P.S. I realize there is zero chance of you listening to this or it even registering.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I can think of no worse charity to give to.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Tony's cardboard panhandling sign will say, "Will work for VBJ stake. No, wait. Won't work. Will go to counseling for VBJ stake. But really it would be easier if you'd just gimme the money."

    ReplyDelete
  14. Tony is finally putting his thoughts toward something more constructive, figuring out a warmer place to be homeless.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. am wondering if u even noticed i added ur blog and about 10 others to my blogroll?

      Delete
    2. Friendship is a relationship based on trust, respect and having things in common.

      You don't trust anybody, you have respect for nothing and nobody has anything in common with you.

      Furthermore you give nobody any reason to trust you, you've never done anything deserving of respect, and nobody would ever want to have anything in common with you.

      Good luck finding friends to help you when you need it. If you do find anything, it's out of pity, not friendship.

      Delete
    3. At this point I'm sure he does not care if it is for friendship or pity as long as he gets that "big sweaty wad of money" by any means

      Delete
  15. "now is when I need friends more than I ever have"

    Tony, you eventually screw everyone who tries to be your friend and tries to help you. You continue to ignore good advice that will improve your life - instead choosing to publicise right-wing voter fraud conspiracies and spew anti-gay hate speech.

    You are a pathetic excuse for a Christian, and an even worse excuse for a Republican. If I were a member of either of these groups, I'd totally disown you.

    Man up, grow a pair, and quit your whining - you are a big cry-baby.

    Get a job. If you end up begging - without even TRYING to get a job - I am fucking DONE with trying to help you ever again.

    D

    ReplyDelete
  16. I happen to be a resident of one michele bachmann and her "husband". To borrow from "The 40 year Virgin" I always thought Michelle Bachman's husband was a bit of a Streisand and there are more than few in state rumors that agree. Not that I care if he is (voted no on marraige amendment).
    "is a child molestor born a child molester? is a rapist born a rapist? is a thief born a thief? is a cheater born a cheater?"
    My answer to all of these questions is a shouted YES!!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm signing up on Lock....just to take the rest of your roll.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Tony, San Diego is a fantastic town. You may also want to consider Denver or Seattle -- both have a blossoming hobo culture, due largely to the lack of extreme weather year round. At $25 average a day, you should be able to pull down a solid $750 a month, all tax free, of course. If you sleep outside, and scavenge for food, you should be able to keep your expenses down next to nothing. You might be able to save $4,000 or so over the course of six months. Sounds like a decent option, although I can't speak for how difficult it will be to safeguard your growing roll in such an environment or to avoid scuffles with other hobos.

    I hope you keep the blog going if you make such a move. I'm sure readers will be fascinated by the lifestyle...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It seems they have free wi-fi in many Public Parks these days

      Delete
  19. Remember when Tony was offered a job for $15 an hour cash that he was qualified for and a place to stay and he came up with 15 reasons not to do it, all summed up by the fact that the job wasnt playing VBJ all day long?

    Tony how do you expect a woman to love and respect you when you don't even have the self respect and pride in yourself to work before you have to resort to begging money from others to support your addiction?

    You're no better than the black homeless drunks begging you for beer money that you despise so much.

    It's so much easier being the rock thrower though isn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  20. I know you like to delete my comments Tony, but I wish you'd listen to me and others trying to help you. It's not about gloating to feel like we're better than you. It's about getting you to actually improve your life.

    If I thought for a moment you were willing to make REAL changes in your life... give up ALL gambling for (let's say) six months, get an apartment and a job, I'm almost certain I could find my way to wiring you $100. I'd bet a lot of others here would too-- send you as much or more-- if they thought you were really up to changing. Maybe even Josie and others would give you another chance. At the end, my hunch is that you'd end up with more than enough for an actual decent place in LV and enough time to find a good part-time job and enjoy three good meals a day. You'd rekindle a lot of constructive relationships too.

    The fact that you'd rather beg and make others feel sorry for you speaks volumes. On the path you're on, you are the VERY DEFINITION OF INSANITY. You keep doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. And insanity ain't a nice place to be. I know so, because at my last job I actually worked in a ward for persons with disabilities (yes, including Aspergers) at a California State mental hospital. You're headed there at a faster rate than you realize, and believe you me: you don't wanna go there. Unfortunately from my perspective, you're not going to get saner, EVER, at least until your views of yourself, life, responsibility, and your future change.

    Is it that you think if you quit now, you're a failure? You're not a failure. Your plan just didn't work. You fix that by choosing a better path, NOT by stubbornly sticking to the same old road to hell forever. I'm a Christian too, and one of the great messages I've taken from the Gospels is that God doesn't shame folks who, upon realizing their foolishness, make major U-turns in their lives... God welcomes and cherishes them. Doesn't that sound more like someone you'd like to be, than a homeless and broke gambler?

    Millions of folks have tried to do what you're doing, and also failed. Are they all failures? No, of course not. Failure at becoming a full-time gambler is NOT the same thing as being a failure at life, Tony. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE, so long as you realize what so many others, INCLUDING ME, have: you're most likely NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO MAKE A FULL-TIME LIVING AT GAMBLING. It's not just me who says that. Ask Brunson, Negreanu or a crapload of other pro gamblers. They all admit it: THEY'RE the ones who are freaks of nature, rather than the countless people who play, try their hardest, and still (usually) lose money every day.

    This is NOT to say you have to give up poker or any other game forever. You can still play. You just need to tell yourself: 'I need to be in a better place in my life to play well. I need regular, dependable income that gambling by its very nature can't provide. I need regular meals. I need a warm (or in the summer, a cool) place to sleep when I need to. I need a healthier lifestyle. I need stability.' Once you're there-- and I believe if you become really motivated, it would only take a few months-- you can restart playing on a PART-TIME basis to AUGMENT your income, just like so many other folks do.

    I doubt this advice will get through, but I hope I've at least phrased it in such a unique manner to you that you'll at least think about it. Or you could just block me again. Your choice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i cant imagine what u are referring to when u say i deleted ur comment, would never delete a thoughtful analysis such as this, i wouldnt have the slightest idea what other comment u are referring to nor what happened to it, are u aware comments dont show up immediately and maybe u didnt check back later to see if it appeared?

      Delete
  21. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  22. I don't really have anything constructive to say. I feel bad for you, Tony. I wish you could help yourself.

    Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I see no problem with TBC begging for cash money.
    Working sucks....sitting under a palm tree in San Diego with a change cup seems much more relaxing. Besides, people will feel good giving him handouts. Lots of people voted for Obama down there. Good luck Tony!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I see no problem with TBC begging for cash money.
    Working sucks....sitting under a palm tree in San Diego with a change cup seems much more relaxing. Besides, people will feel good giving him handouts. Lots of people voted for Obama down there. Good luck Tony!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Where is another friggin $18,000 SSI backpayment when you need it desperately? You have more than proven that will get you by for a few years. Shame you wasted it all, and the additional money, gifts, stakes, handouts others have given you.

    Remember that old story, 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf'? Renamed 'SevenCard2003 Who Cried Wolf'???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How about the other TBC classic:

      "Who moved my VBJ machine?"

      Delete
  26. Smart gamblers look for ways to lessen the house edge

    http://gamingtoday.com/articles/article/38790-Smart_gamblers_look_for_ways_to_lessen_the_house_edge

    ReplyDelete
  27. I don't think anyone should give you money. You'd just blow it on gambling instead of improving your life. It might be better if you Go bust so you change your ways, Get a real part time job or go back to your family

    An stop posting all the political bullshit. It makes you look very stupid to believe this crap. Almost as stupid as gambling your life away at the expense of family and friends

    I hope you turn things around but my wishes are that your turn around includes caring about family and friends more than gambling

    Family and friends are my top priorities

    I wish you well no matter what crazy things you say, do or write

    And by the way politics are opinions. Anyone who thinks they know all the answers to fix the economy is a fool. There is no way to know what exact factors successfully affect the economy. The economy is a combination of scattered variables. If you change one or more variables there is no way to prove the impact especially over such a small sample of industrialized life. Of course you've proven you don't understand variance by your reckless need to get even every day despite the fact that winning players easily lose 40% of their sessions. So I doubt you'll get my point. But point is most politics are opinions that can't easily be proven. When it comes to economics, the true fool is anyone who says they are right and someone else is wrong. I have my opinion but I certainly could be wrong... Or right.

    Good luck! I sincerely wish you well

    ReplyDelete
  28. "i certainly did waste a lot of money foolishly. and im paying for it severly now."

    People don't change until it hurts too much to stay the same.

    Then in the next sentence, you put "hard on" and "gay sex" next to each other.

    Keep the jokes cumming, Tony.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Giving Tony free money is hurting him more than helping him, i feel bad for Tony but he knows rite from wrong, Tony could find a job but refuses to even try always has excuses why he should not work. Tony really needs to go visit his son and mother before he crashes for good. Tony is burned out physically and mentally he needs a break from gambling to regroup. Tony go home to Kansas and spend Thanksgiving with your family. Good luck and Happy Holidays Tony.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Use some of the little money you have left and go visit your family for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Use some of the little money you have left and go visit your family for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Been greatly improving since then thats for sure. Great success story in my opinion

    ReplyDelete