Thursday, January 3, 2013

Well to be honest, im doing better than i have been in a long long time. am back to $2200, won almost $280 today at sams town in the stud game, part of it came from hitting 2 4 of a kinds. went home when the game broke. Will go back out before all the stores close, because i still need to get me a pan, blanket, can opener, microwave dish, and a lot of other things.

a couple months ago i moved into Jean on Nov 6th. and about a month before that, around the beginning of Oct if i remember right, was about the time i moved out of my apt at Harbor Island and down to Laughlin to play the VBJ machine that wasnt any good. And at the time, i was using very poor judgement. But im not using that poor judgement anymore, am basically staying away from machines (only 1 screwup). Yet i know that without counseling, i can fail at anytime. But i dont know how to find a counselor. Maybe if someone else similar to Claudia were to write Rachel and explain the need, she would take me on again. (rachelr806@gmail.com). But unlike what Claudia always used to tell me (that she would counsel me on ANYTHING) i think she only does compulsive gambling counseling for those who want to stop.

u see, what im saying is ALL the bad judgement was happening back in Oct and the months prior--(at the time i was throwing away the $6000 roll). And yet Claudia was still willing to talk to me back then. She was even trying to help until she got angry and put my life in serious danger by calling the police, (dont she know police in vegas have a tendency to shoot suspects they think are mentally ill?) u shouldnt go around telling police officers someone has weapons without proof. Luckily for me, they were quite nice. I think ive done extremely well, and used quite good judgement and decision making ever since i dropped to a low of $1100, because if i had NOT, i couldve easily been out on the streets along with everyone else totally broke. And instead, ive doubled the roll. So i feel like i should be congratulated on all the wise decisions i made by going to Jean in the first place, and then in coming back to Vegas and playing poker at samstown.

i do not know whether Claudias motive were pure or not when she sent the police to check on me in Jean. I dont know if she was seriously worried i might harm someone, or if she was just angry i was still emailing and texting her. and ill never know because she has never contacted me again since. Nor has she spoken to any friends i know and trust who can tell me the truth about how shes feeling, and i really need someone to find out whats up, so i can forget about her, and not worry about what she might be planning and just get on with my life. It was HER not me, who wanted to make sure i get hooked up with medical and SSI, ive never been comfortable at all with hiding my income from the govt, hiding the fact im not homeless, (like everyone else says to tell them--such as Vince and seattle irish) and i feel a lot better knowing i can support myself gambling. it makes me feel GOOD about myself. And goes along with my beliefs. SSI is a little different, because i feel EVERYONE who is disabled should receive that money, regardless of how much income they have, and its wrong to make u have under $2000 to get it. But what i dont believe in are welfare programs that go thru the govt burearcracies. they should be getting their help directly from rich people and churches without the govt being involved at all. Primarily this is what panhandling does. its up to everyone to choose whether to help or not, no one is forced. women with kids shouldnt be getting welfare, they should have to go out and find a man to help take care of them and get married. no wonder the marriage rate is so low and the only people getting married are gay people. i wouldnt be without a woman if this was the way life was, and this was always the way life used to be for hundreds of centuries. i could easily give a woman the same $200 a week to live with her im paying for rent and various miscellaneous expenses on my own. why do women let bums move in with them for free, and yet i cant find a good woman who will let me live with her when id be willing to pay what i could to help her out?

so yes, not knowing claudias mental and emotional state of health, i do not want to continue my SSI application, nor do i want Vince to take me to get medical care with welfare so i can get the diagnoses for autism that i need for a bus pass and for an atty to help me with my appeal. im too afraid of claudia and what she might do, because she wasnt willing to part on amicable terms, or talk to any of my friends, or email me to tell me i have nothing to worry about, and im worried she is going to try and get me in serious trouble with the govt purely out of hatred and revenge if i end up getting help simply because she knows too much. i dont know how much real hatred and bitterness she is harboring towards me on the inside since she isnt talking to taking my calls, but i fear the absolute worst since she wont respond. No one who is really a friend just sick of dealing with it all (Josie for instance) would let me suffer like claudia is doing. Josie wouldnt do that, she wouldve talked to lightning or grump if not me. Not so with Claudia, shes talked to NO ONE, and thats what is scaring the hell out of me. Im not able to get hooked up with social services like Claudia wanted me too because im too afraid to not knowing her state of mind anymore and no longer trusting her motives. She wasnt angry at first, and i trusted her completely, but not knowing if she is angry or not, im too paranoid. I wish i had the money to go get on the subway by her door and wait for her to talk to her so i wouldnt have to live the rest of my life in fear of what she might do. i wish i could feel comfortable knowing she will quietly go away, without her putting my life and safety in any more jeopardy than she already has. lightning told me she seemed "controlling" to him, (back from making me sign the contract, and telling me not to buy certain clothes at the thrift store when we were in there because she didnt like the color, and by telling me what i couldnt talk about in my blog for so long) Lightning himself is a college counselor, just like rachel, and is someone i trust 100%.

So if Vince is wondering why ive made no effort to bug him on getting me to that dr, thats why. i cannot take a risk of going to jail for someone telling the medical offices at the welfare dept that i am NOT homeless and have way too much income to qualify for medical assistance. Theres no telling what Claudia might be capable of, as much political power as she has being a woman of influence, and a published author. I think her intentions all along was to write an article as to why people with mental disabilities shouldnt ever be allowed to gamble, and i dont want to have to close down my blog worried about what claudia, or someone else, might say to someone. This blog means too much for me, and the readership is increasing no idea why, its up to over 1000 views a day now. I just wish i couldve known, that Claudia really cared about ME and not just about HER own comfort. This blog is such a great success story of the life of someone with aspergers, how they successfully make it in life just off gambling winnings alone, and how their life is so much better now than it was when i was sleeping outdoors in dubuque iowa with a sign on the side of the highway. and how they will someday be very rich.

I'm not going to put all that in jeopardy just to have the right to see a dr who can finally once and for all, give me the diagnoses of my autism/aspergers. i dont know for sure what the dr in KS said, mom dont remember who, and she originally said she learned i had it due to filling out forms by mail with an autism research place out in Cali. i do know when i got ssi in the past theyd said that was why i was getting it, but no idea why.

and now i must leave the house and get things done. wanted to hang out with pokerJohnny but he has dates with 4 different women, wtf, i cant even get one.

50 comments:

  1. "women with kids shouldnt be getting welfare, they should have to go out and find a man to help take care of them and get married."

    no no, Tony, their pastor should *assign* them a man. we can't have the weak-minded fools wandering around trying to find one on their own.

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  2. Your paranoia seems to have reached a new level, Tony. She called the police because of the dangerous things you said or wrote. Why would she have any desire to harass you and do you any harm? My guess is that it would be just fine with her if you forgot she existed.

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    1. lightning u are not God, u have no right to judge peoples motives, u have flat out called God a liar before by saying most people are basically good people when the Bible tells us the exact opposite is true. u nor I have no idea why she did that, u dont know if she really thought i meant anything i said or wrote, and u dont know if she isnt trying to think of some way to claim something to get me locked up now. its important someone talk to her to find out whats up so i can relax about this. no need for me to talk to her as long as someone else will

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    2. It has happened. He has truly gone bat shit crazy.

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    3. Tony imho Claudia should be the last thing you should have to worry about. And as for you being homeless you are homeless. Go to a doctor and get medically checked out and get what help is out there for you. Good to see your roll grow keep it going.

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    4. "Lightning himself is a college counselor, just like rachel, and is someone i trust 100%."

      Wow Tony, sounds like maybe you really meant 99%?

      You are right about one thing: I am not God. And Tony -- I have every right to judge whatever I want. I have not called God a liar, I have stated a belief which is contrary to what you believe. And yes, I can pretty well guess why Claudia called the police. Most normal people would consider that or do exactly what she did. And if most normal people would consider that ...

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    5. Lightning you are NOT GOD
      You Shall NOT PASS (go)
      Do not Collect $200

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    6. zin, how am i homeless when im paying for an apt costing me close to $750 a month? to see a dr, u must first apply for welfare. obamacare isnt in effect yet either.

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  3. Of all the idiotic things you have ever said or written, this post has to be the most idiotic.

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  4. You're completely long gone past the left field fence, through the parking lot, and heading down the interstate to the funny farms.


    I don't hold any of it against you, because of your disability, but I will say this:

    A woman living with you isn't worth $200 a week to her, no matter how desperate she is, because she would be getting paid a little over a dollar an hour to work the 24/7 job that is being part of TBC's inner circle, and I am sure you would expect physical affection on top of it.


    At some point you need to stop and think what is in it for other people, when assessing their motives. Claudia doesn't want anything to do with you because you're clearly insane, and the only way to project that is complete dead air to any part of your life. Beyond that you give yourself way too much credit, because you do a great job of destroying your own life on your own and her "setting you up" isn't worth her time, period. No matter how much your severe paranoia dictates to you that she is out to get you.

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  5. Tony, people have better things to do in their life than to plot against you.

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  6. I know that you view women as objects, of which you feel entitled to one. But I am going to share something with you that might blow your mind.

    My wife and I fall into the category of what you would consider "very rich". Every two weeks we take home after taxes double your net worth. My wife works full time and contributes more to that figure than I do. All of her and my friends wives and girlfriends work, at least part time if not full time. Most of them have children. We all own houses and cars. They choose to work out of their own free will because they have found meaningful and enjoyable jobs, and they contribute to their overall life enjoyment and create new opportunities to flourish with the extra income.

    Women, of which you feel you're entitled to, don't need you to support them when you can't even support yourself. You're 43 and homeless with the net worth of an average two week paycheck. You have no hobbies other than gambling and nutty political and social theories. As I've asked a million times, what is in it for them?

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    1. i dont believe a word of anything u say. u post stuff all the time u make urself look good, and make people who have no money look bad. i think a lot of it is just BS designed to make me look bad, and considering i have no way to know if anything uve ever posted is true, i shouldnt approve any of it. ive seen so many stories by u thats what people want to believe about the poor, but it cant possibly be true. and the average 2 week paycheck is about $300 or so, how do u get 2 weeks is my net worth? dont u know 50% of the public pay NO INCOME TAXES and about 40% are on food stamps? no way am i anywhere near as bad off as u make me look. People with money have no concept of how life is different for almost everyone else. Pretty much no woman wants to work, they do it because they fear like if they dont, they wont be able to pay their bills and support their kids. and a lot of men force their wives to work.

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    2. First of all, it makes absolutely no difference to me if you believe me or not. You don't know me.

      Secondly, why would I care about making myself look good? What's in it for me? No one here knows me either and i don't interact with any of them.

      Thirdly, I am trying to give you perspective on how others think that live how you wish to live. You've clearly made it personal, which I've avoided, so I will leave me out of it.

      Fourthly, $300 is a horrible 1 week paycheck. But you wouldn't understand relatively because you don't and haven't ever worked.

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    3. And lastly, how can you speak for "most women" when in your words you can't even date one of them?

      Most women these days want to go to college and have careers, like my wife is doing. This isn't the 1950's anymore bub

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    4. TBC: "Pretty much no woman wants to work, they do it because they fear like if they dont, they wont be able to pay their bills and support their kids. and a lot of men force their wives to work."

      Tony in your world you might consider the above statement the truth. But the reality of that matter is that almost all women in the USA want to work. Working to be able to pay bills and support kids is not isolated to just women in the USA but in fact crosses the gender line to men as well. I am not sure what "a lot of men force their wives to work" translates to percentage-wise but I think it is pretty safe to say that particular issue is a non-starter in the grander scheme of things.

      Regards, Lester

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    5. The average 2-week paycheck is $300?

      40% of the public is on foodstamps?

      Where do you get this stuff? Glenn Beck?

      Delete
  7. I need to read this again. Because, it's very, very awesome.

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  8. Tony, just imagine what your roll would have been worth several hundred centuries ago.....!!! You could have had a thousand wives!

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  9. Also, the delicious irony of YOU wanting to stalk Claudia because of YOUR fear of HER!! This post should be exhibit 1 on her application for a TRO.

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  10. That's going to be one heck of a long subway ride...

    Why I'm even bothering to say this, I do not know, but if you really want to talk to Claudia:

    1) Stop asking people to talk to her for you.
    2) Stop acting like a bat-shit crazy person.
    3) Go an entire month without acting like a bat-shit crazy person and then send her a polite email/text thanking her for all the things she did for you and request a five minute phone conversation to speak to her one last time.

    If you do those three simple things, she'll talk to you and tell you that she's not plotting your doom.

    We all know of course that you'll continue to act like a bat-shit crazy person but following those three simple steps will get you exactly what you claim you want and need.

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  11. Tony it's your life but you should at least get the Dr exam. If he puts on a rubber glove, run as fast as u can. Seriously just get it and u can use the diagnosis later if you want. Maybe you can at least get food stamps. That will help a bit and discounted bus passes. Ill be in town the 16-19 but will be pretty busy but ill try to meet up if you're around Vegas.

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  12. TBC, congrats on growing the roll, glad to see it going north instead of south....but it would seem you are simply coming up with an excuse to not see a doctor with this talk of Claudia being out to get you. Just because your roll has gone up a little lately doesn't mean you should just forget about the Dr and SSI. Good luck in the new year and keep making good decisions.

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  13. Your goofy views aside, you have nothing to worry about when it comes to the government finding out you are not really homeless because, by their definition (from the McKinney-Vento Act) you are homeless because you do not own or regularly rent a place. Even if you went back to Kansas and lived with your mom full time, you could still be considered homeless because you would not be the home owner and would be "doubling up" out of financial necessity. Get the help you need, whether it is through a job (which we all know is not happening, unfortunately) or assistance. Be honest in your application, get the doctor's diagnosis, and see if you qualify. The worst they can tell you is that you don't qualify and if you apply honestly, your irrational fears about Claudia outing you can be put to rest.

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  14. Your goofy views aside, you have nothing to worry about when it comes to the government finding out you are not really homeless because, by their definition (from the McKinney-Vento Act) you are homeless because you do not own or regularly rent a place. Even if you went back to Kansas and lived with your mom full time, you could still be considered homeless because you would not be the home owner and would be "doubling up" out of financial necessity. Get the help you need, whether it is through a job (which we all know is not happening, unfortunately) or assistance. Be honest in your application, get the doctor's diagnosis, and see if you qualify. The worst they can tell you is that you don't qualify and if you apply honestly, your irrational fears about Claudia outing you can be put to rest.

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  15. ill get around to reading and approving the rest of everyone elses comments later, right now im in a hurry to post some important news about a BIG decision i made. I played $2-6 stud at boulder station, and won over $100 again. Then i went to walmarts, and bought me a lot of things i needed, such as detergent, pans, can opener, pizza pan, etc. They have a machine in there u can reload ur debit card on when customer service is closed.

    spent $57 in there, and STILL have a roll of $2300. not bad huh?

    heres the BIG news. u see, i dont think ill be going back to Jean anytime soon. not unless things go very wrong, and i get so low i need to regroup. i LIKE having an apartment of my own to live again, and these are much better poker rooms and promotions going on here on boulder hwy than id have ever guessed. at one place u flop 4 aces u get $1000, surely i could do that twice a year. Thats why i am buying all these things for my apt, because i plan to be keeping it. now if i can only figure out how to get rid of the roaches i still have them after putting the borax on most everything except harder to get to places like under the couch. This is alot better deal than Harbor Island because im paying less, and closer to stores and buses. Also, i was wondering how much longer should i go before i go back to no limit $100 buyins?

    i am afraid to because i fear a couple of hundred dollar losses might put me on tilt downward spiral. Thats why i really need to get the counseling, that is NOT a govt program, and its not something ill get in trouble for where id have to lie about not having any income or a place to live to qualify, i just need to figure out how to find a good counselor.

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    1. maybe things are finally going to turn around for you, i sure hope so.

      it really is painful to read this blog and see you making bad decisions on an almost constant basis and then you wonder why things arent going well.

      i'm not sure you have the self control to do this but if your roll is over $2,000 you should be able to play one session of NL for $100. if you lose go back to stud or limit.

      good luck tony

      Delete
    2. Careful Tony, as soon as Claudia learns your bankroll is up to $2,300 and you have your own pad, she's probably gonna want to share in your success. She abandoned you when you were broke, now when you're livin the good life, she'll want back in. 90% of woman only like men for their money, 50% of US citizens don't pay income taxes, and 40% are on food stamps. Pretty good chance she's a money-grubbing, food stamp using, free-loading, cop-calling black widow. Be careful please.

      Delete
  16. "at one place u flop 4 aces u get $1000, surely i could do that twice a year."

    Show your work, Tony:

    1. How many hands of hold'em would you have to play in order to have an average expectation of seeing pocket aces one time?

    2. When dealt pocket aces, what is the probability of flopping quad aces?

    3. Combining those two things, how many hands would you have to play, on average, in order to expect to see flopped quad aces once?

    4. How many hours would you have to play in order to complete that average number of hands, assuming, say, 25 hands per hour?

    5. How many days would you have to play to put in that many hours, assuming, say, 8 hours per day?

    If you can't do that math, you shouldn't be playing poker.

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    Replies
    1. You want Tony to back up his believes quantitatively? Are you saying God is a liar?

      Besides, Tony is a feel kind of poker player, he doesn't need math.

      Delete
  17. Tony,

    One thing to keep in the front of your mind: everytime you seem to have things going your way you do something stupid and get banned from a casino and lose your ability to make a living.

    Do not blow up and always remain nice to the players and staff. Living on Boulder Highway you are a long way from other card rooms if you get banned by the casinos that are near your place.

    Good luck, of course,

    snevman

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  18. Tony,
    You are doing great with the gambling, keep it up and keep watching the roll grow. I'm not sure anyone should really be speculating on what Claudia thinks, maybe she is plotting something against you. However, even if you or someone else did actually speak to her, I'm pretty sure if she was plotting your destruction she wouldn't tell you or anyone else that she was. So there is really no way to ever know the truth. You need to just continue watching your back, and being a bit paranoid certainly should help. Good luck!

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  19. Tony,

    You do not need to be homeless to get government help. Do not lie about anything to them. You do need assistance though. You HAVE to be under the poverty level. It would help you immensely to have doctors help and some help with food and a little income you can count on. The idea of government programs (even though that is not how they are used) is to use them to get on your feet then get off of them. If you used it that way I think it would be alright and you could still feel good about yourself.. even better as you see your bankroll grow and have a little security.. and then you can get off the programs you do not need.

    There is no shame in getting help when you need it Tony.


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  20. Honest and serious question:

    What do you expect counselling to do for you, and how do you expect it to succeed?

    Counselling isn't worth your precious free time until you approach it with the right perspective and open and willing to accept and apply thought process and actions

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  21. cliffs:

    I did the math.
    it should not happen twice a year.
    lol at tony playing 8 hours of live poker a day. all he does is gamble and he still doesn't put in a "real" work day.

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  22. Gambling winnings are not considered income for the purpose of obtaining benefits in the State of Nevada. https://dwss.nv.gov/pdf/EP_Man_A-0700.pdf (point 720.1).

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  23. Gambling winnings are not considered income for the purpose of obtaining benefits in Nevada. https://dwss.nv.gov/pdf/EP_Man_A-0700.pdf (point 720.1). You should get yourself some health coverage.

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  24. Tony,

    Here is the link to the info on SSI qualifications.

    http://www.socialsecurity.gov/ssi/text-eligibility-ussi.htm

    Please note the sections defining limited income and limited resources.

    I post this to not only educate you what the qualifications are, but to hopefully debunk your fear that Claudia's doing will result in the Feds somehow coming after you. You have limited resources and limited income Tony. The Feds are not and will not come after you if you apply and obtain SSI. You can apply for the SSI (after you gain proof of your disability) and use it as needed until you no longer have a limited income, such as actually having a successful professional poker income.

    The FEDs are way too busy going after tax evaders, securities fraud criminals and businesses making improper classification of employee v. independent contractors to worry about any SSI that you get on.

    Go meet with a medical doctor and then apply for SSI. It's in your best interests AT THIS POINT IN YOUR LIFE. My 2cents.



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    Replies
    1. Tony that's very good advice. Don't stress the govt isn't watching your every move. They don't have the time or resources to do that.

      Delete
  25. I read poker girl in vegas blog now and then and saw your comment over there Tony. Did you mean to insult Carmen or not regarding you getting 50 comments a day in your blog and she only gets a few??

    Regards, Lester

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    Replies
    1. no, and u shouldnt post that, because u know better. u post it because u want to give people the idea to think evil about me. i just think she must delete a ton of comments is all because no one ever posts, and im sure she isnt reading my blog anymore

      Delete
  26. "women with kids shouldnt be getting welfare, they should have to go out and find a man to help take care of them and get married."

    Yes, Tony, all women should become whores.

    "why do women let bums move in with them for free"

    Companionship? Love?

    "the only people getting married are gay people"

    Does this mean all your married followers are gay? Maybe you should poll them.





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  27. Wow Tony. It is almost safe to say you have gone off the deep end. Get help. You may have scared Claudia off because of your neediness. I highly doubt she "has it in" for you. I doubt she spends her free time plotting about how to make your life miserable.

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  28. This is a classic example of the unreliable narrator. Do you even believe what you are typing?

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  29. Tony what did you think of Johnnie Footballs performance in the 2013 Cotton Bowl?

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    Replies
    1. Best freshman QB to ever play the game. Just amazing. Speechless. Gig Em Aggies!

      Delete
  30. Odds of being dealt aces: 1 in 221
    Odds of flopping quads when holding a pocket pair: 1 in 408
    Odds of being dealt Aces AND flopping quads: 1 in ~88000

    At a FAST 40 hands/hr clip, 2200 hours would be needed.

    at *6* hours a day, EVERY day, one would need 366 days, almost exactly one year, to accumulate 2200 hours. That would mean that this event has a 69.3% chance of occurring ONCE, using the law of large numbers to find the probability.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Odds of being dealt aces: 1 in 221
    Odds of flopping quads when holding a pocket pair: 1 in 408
    Odds of being dealt Aces AND flopping quads: 1 in ~88000

    At a FAST 40 hands/hr clip, 2200 hours would be needed.

    at *6* hours a day, EVERY day, one would need 366 days, almost exactly one year, to accumulate 2200 hours. That would mean that this event has a 69.3% chance of occurring ONCE, using the law of large numbers to find the probability.

    ReplyDelete