Sunday, December 1, 2013

I'd be a lot better off financially had i listened to Herbies advice last night

Won a $500 drawing over the weekend, got my $495 withdrawal on Bovada by WU a lot quicker than expected, and yet i still have a roll of only $2282. thats awful, with both those 2 things i shouldve been very close to $3000.

But of course i went partners with Herbie on the drawing, (reducing my share to $230)--and then lost multiple sessions of VBJ, plus we went to GVR with $315 and i came back with $73 after buying a little food and paying him for gas. the poker games there are normally good $1-2 games but i sure couldnt get anything that night and the table wasnt as good that day either. And i still dont quite have the 50 hours i need before dec 15 for the Jan 15 freeroll.

And i have little left online either now, just $26 on Bovada, and 33 chips on seals, which at $1100 a bitcoin are worth about $36. im wondering if i should sell and take it, nothing is backing it up and bitcoin is as valuable as GOLD.

and ill be due a big net and phone bill of $30-40 each within a day or two.

Herbie said i should be in vegas playing poker instead of in Jean, and offered to let me ride back to vegas FREE and drop me off at Vinces and i decided against it, mainly since i still had $2546, felt that enough to work with, and wanted to check the mail monday for a letter from Carmen again. of course, that night i lost $150 on the VBJ again, and u notice the new roll as of now after paying for a tour bus, this ride, misc expenses etc. I do NOT think i made the right decision in deciding against it.

So im on the bus and while on the bus i get a little worried of being robbed, the ONLY seat not taken is in the very back of the bus, surrounded by blacks, mostly women, all the older asians and mexicans are up near the front. no white people at all on the bus, maybe 1-2. this one black lady whose a regular who said she helps host the bus got me on, talked to the driver and owner and paid $25 for a ride into LA. (of course its also the same black lady who panhandled a few bucks off me before too when broke, or possibly her friend) i think its her sister. But the guy i was sitting next to was an older black guy off his medication who got into some argument with security and i was sure glad to not be on that bus any more, was worried about him pulling out a knife or something and thinking this white guy will sure be an easy target to rob. of course had he done so, the other passangers wouldnt have cared since i was white and felt me being white id deserved it. so i was extremely paranoid on the bus the whole way.

so paranoid that in fact when he stopped in barstow for a 30 minute break i couldnt stand being on the bus no more and was going to go up the street get a motel room, and later catch a train since barstow has an amtrak station plus buses. just to be away and to feel FREE of all these goddamn bags. herbie said to get rid of those bags and not be carrying them around and why do i need pots and pans, but someday ill have an apt again. so yeah i had 3 bags under the bus, and i was going to just leave them and be a free man. instead the bus was still there about 15 min later (after the 30 min break ended trying to figure out where i was) and i changed my mind last minute and ran to get on it claiming i was looking for wifi across the street and had been mistaken on the departure time. was i ever relieved once i reached Atlantic and Pomona and got off the bus safely. and carrying these damned bags to this hotel was a real pain, especially crossing the bridge. had to leave 1 behind and come back for it later. and i wont have anywhere to put these bags when i leave. at most ill be able to store 1 at commerce if that, i dont know on that.

i really didnt have the money to abandon the bus, but with $2300 left i still felt a lot richer than i really am considering how little money i survived on in cali the previous trip. and i thought it might save me being robbed of $1000. its too bad racism exists, if black racism did not exist, i wouldnt have had to fear my safety. But we can never get rid of racism til we first get rid of all the racists, those who hate whites and were taught to hate them from birth. and they carry out that hate by voting democrat and playing the knockout game, which the media tries to pretend dont exist.

now i feel its dumb to pay $350 for a week so i refused, $70 for a day is dumb too but i need sleep before i play at the commerce, and tomorrow ill just start using the spa. or take the bus into reno, sac, or vegas. i should just go home to KS. i dont feel i treat my family right, but i dont feel too guilty because i know i dont have the money to treat them right so i dont feel i should go til im in far better shape--that way i wont be a burden on them. i dont like being around people. id like to be around a woman whod love me, but dont want to be around others im not really close to. just those i can relate to.

48 comments:

  1. Kansas trip for xmas would be awesome Tony.

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  2. Tony, a few weeks back I think I looked at your blog and you were commenting that you were probably headed back to Kansas for a little while to be with the family.

    What ever happened to that?

    And, sorry I didn't get back to you about playing poker last night, I just don't have the money currently go waste on gambling.

    I did, however, order 3 or 4 Xmas presents for members of my family and I think they are all going to like them.

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    1. a winning player dont consider money spent gambling to be "wasted"

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    2. A person with real life responsibilities who prioritizes their family life before their gambling life does.

      The difference between you and I is that I put everything else before Gambling and you put Gambling before everything else.

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    3. Yippee! Go Grrouchie. But then again your POV is not colored by a disability. I've been oddly stalking this blog and realized that the things that we take for granted as being enjoyable like cooking for family and friends, playing with children, watching a good musical, playing a sport, etc. does not come up on TBC's radar which is admittedly a bit 'off'. And it's okay because he is who he is. He doesn't know how to live any other way. I have a brother with Aspergers (very mild) who is obsessed with computer programming. Seriously. His one joy in life is cleaning up people's code to make it more efficient. Thankfully, it's a marketable skill and he's high functioning. But don't ask him to golf or ski or scuba dive. He does give friends and family his old electronics and can crack a joke so he's barely touching the spectrum but I suspect TBC may be the same way.

      I would venture to say that TBC's obsession is poker but his inability to exercise the discipline to keep it about poker makes me question it. I think that TBC needs a social outlet outside of poker so that if poker is his chosen profession, things don't get muddled and he can go ahead and pursue his chosen vocation with the sort of ruthlessness it requires.

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  3. And the hamster wheel of TBC's life continues to turn... When are you going to learn not to play the VBJ?

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    1. well it is plus EV -- provided u have enough use for the comps, and do NOT overbet. but with a $2k roll, almost every bet becomes an overbet. a roll of $5k or so solves this issue.

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    2. Tony, you don't have a $5k roll, so it is not +EV for you. Besides, if you had a $5k roll, why waste your time on what amounts to pennies per hour in comps when you can be making real cash at the tables? Stop convincing yourself that the VBJ is a money maker - it is NOT!

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  4. just to say, if i want, i can take amtrak for $80 dec 3 to reno, although the vast majority of the trip uses amtrak buses and not amtrak trains

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  5. its too bad racism exists, if black racism did not exist, i wouldnt have had to fear my safety

    SERIOUSLY TBC, YOU ARE THE FUCKING RACIST.

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    1. i dont think its racist to worry for my safety due to all the bad experiences between the age of 17-21 and especially with eric holder in charge of the justice system nowdays. these experiences are things im not comfortable talking about, and lightning was only told a small piece and not the whole story. Beatings, rapes, etc and other degradation i wanted no part of.

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    2. Tony, if you don't share your experiences, then its hard to understand where you are coming from. It really did appear that you were denouncing racists in the same breath as making racist statements.

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  6. Tony, You would be a LOT better off in every way if you followed any of the multitudes of advice you've been given over the years. Why not make a resolution to seriously follow one piece of advice each month for a year. JUST one suggestion, any one, easy or difficult - your choice. You'll almost certainly be better off for doing so.

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  7. Tony, why would you leave Vegas. You were doing fine. Seems like you don't want to "work" even if the "work" is playing poker. You just want to fuck around all the time.

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    1. actually to be honest, the games in Vegas are much harder to win at, i was a bit frustrated by all the times id grown the roll to $2000-2500 just to then drop a ton in 1 day ($300-500 in buyins) and be back to below 2k again. i remembered how much easier the games were in cali to win at, and wanted to go somewhere id have a lot easier time winning, and not have to deal with the long commute to vinces. he wants too much for gas, and he thinks hes charging me very cheap fair prices. also im tired of not having a bathroom to use at Vinces cept the one in his room him and Anne use. the roommates use the other one. but they probably moved out sunday and thats good. figured it only made sense to play in cali instead where i can win better.

      and also, i cant afford $100 buyins. too mentally stressful when i lose 2-3 of them. no machines here, and $40 NL much more relaxing. not only that the commerce allows multiple table changes and ratholing, only penalty is they make u post if u move tables voluntarily so u can rathole.

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  8. Hey Tony, it's Alysia. We were corresponding for a bit by mail and then you stopped writing which was fine. Anyhow, My 2 cents after following your blog is that the poker scene in Cali is great for you because there are NO MACHINES in Los Angeles. Stay here. The Omaha hi-lo at Commerce is full every day. Love the action at The Bike. If I had not bought a place in Vegas, I would have continued to play here.

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    1. actually it wasnt me who stopped writing, u didnt answer the last few emails, and u answered an ad to women on CL. this obv isnt a woman, ur google profile says alysia has these people in "HIS" circle, and if u bought a place in vegas, u arent available to go to commerce anyway.

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    2. I'm here in LA finalizing the sale of my house. Just trying to be friendly and "his" is a Google default, not a statement of my gender.

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    3. well Hamsterdam on RTP created a fake womens profile to fuck with me once, and it even had Josie fooled when i asked her if it was legit. anyway if u want to say HI, will be at the commerce this afternoon and of course later on too.

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    4. $40 NL, right? I play Omaha h/l a lot so I'll be there. Probably more towards the evening. Do you know Erica or Marco or any of the floorpersons?

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  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    1. He will probably check you for an adam's apple...

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  10. So... you prefer sleeping in a cardboard box to sleeping at Vince's? OK. When will you ever learn?

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    1. whose going to be outside asleep? my roll was much lower then. if i am, it will be in a sleeping bag not too far from Pechanga, it wont be around the commerce, be hard to find anywhere safe enough around the commerce.

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  11. am trying to decide whether to pay $350 for the week, now that i won $132 in $40 NL at the commerce last night, split up among 2 sessions, one win of $39 and the 2nd win of $93. Being allowed to hit and run if u post a BB to change tables helps out. when u move, u only have to buyin $40 and are allowed to cashout the rest, unlike the policy other casinos.

    I feel like the manager is trying to overcharge me, the weekly used to be less, and the TV dont work. am back in the room to get online, (there is free wifi here, and a fridge and microwave too). is he overcharging me or am i getting a good deal? wish Rob would come by from the Bike and give me his opinion, or maybe even a better weekly deal he knows of close enough to commerce. most of the better deals are in extremely bad areas downtown LA in skidrow where id feel way too unsafe. i have til 11am to decide, and its just too much upfront.

    But then again its not much more than $35x7 for $245 a week in the spa, and then i could store my things and come and go anytime. its just it involves a small commute and is payable upfront. also i locked up all the cash at the commerce cage so id feel safer. ur account there stays good for life. i did get the casino to store the one small bag i left there, (not realizing id end up going back to the motel at 7am) yeah i took one bag, and left the other 2 in my motel room, intending to never come back to the motel. should i try to negotiate a lower price, and is the TV not working provide any leverage? and would he knock off the $70 i already paid for 6 more nights?

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    1. $105 / week is a BIG difference when you start to think in terms of staying a month at a time. $400 / month is a lot more in rent. For $350 / week, I would think you could get a hotel room instead.

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    2. What is the anticipated win rate for $40 NL? What are weekly expenses other than room? Also make sure you have your Commerce card; you get $1.50 per r in comps when you play.

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    3. it Wouldve been a hotel room for $350 a week, but u said thats a lot more than staying at the spa so i took ur advice and didnt pay it. mightve been a mistake, oh well. someone else told me i should pay it. and to Alysia i think i can average 50-100 a night at $40 NL. and its 25c an hour in comps at $40 NL, the higher games give out more comps

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    4. I think you'll lose $20 per night on average at 40NL. I guess time will tell who's right.

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    5. seems total win at $40 NL so far is 61+132 and the 800+ i made at it the previous trip, (pretty much the sum of the $40 NL experience)

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  12. TBC, you need to go to the Rose Bowl and panhandle on TV:

    http://www.awfulannouncing.com/2013/december/fan-holds-up-bitcoin-sign-at-college-gameday-gets-handsomely-rewarded.html

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  13. new roll $2434, just had a small win in the $40 NL after rebuying once and now quitting to head up to the spa and get some sleep, will be around tonight after 11pm. a ton of people wrote me on craigslist about storing the bags a bit too late, for ive already left the motel, not walking back, and im sure he threw out the stuff. he accent was so bad i couldnt make out hardly anything he was saying, but he wouldnt go with a lower weekly rental price due to the TV not working in the room, all he wouldve done was switch me rooms. at least now ill know what to do in the future, i thought no one would respond to the ad on craigslist but within 2 hours 5 people did. i was shocked, i thought the only way to get a response from people who need money was to advertise in poker related places, not to the general public who dont even go near the commerce.

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  14. also i think the clerk at the motel is a huge dick for not being willing to be flexible in his prices and negotiate

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    1. TBC i have worked for hotels for 15 yrs. Sometimes they cant negotiate or they will get fired.

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  15. i ended up sending this message to everyone who answewell, if i was smart, id have posted this ad YESTERDAY--i didnt think about using craigslist til someone suggested it about a few hours before checkout time and it was too late then. i'm now out of the place, the guy spoke so little English i understood nothing he said, and im sure he threw the stuff out. the TV didnt work and id have took the week if he came down a bit on the price but he wouldnt budge. im sure he threw all the bags away. im at the commerce, winning about $25 more at poker, about $150 total in the past 36 hours, and in a month or 2 ill be way better shape and know what to do the next time i am in this situation somewhere. was quite shocked to actually get a reply at least 13 people answered within 2-3 hours of my ad. i had no luck at all when i asked other poker players here at the commerce last night.

    at least nothing was in there too important just a lot of clothes papers, kitchen supplies, etc. its not the first time ive lost everything ive owned. the only possession i really care about is my laptop and i still have that. and as far as the price, u guys arent out too much missing out on this opportunity, $5-10 a week was about all i could spare for storing it. Thank u for ur interest.red my craigslist ad--

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    1. So, when you run well, you make $4 an hour playing the $40NL. And, once again, you completely fail to plan more than a day in advance. Rather than leaving some possessions with Vince, you just throw them all away.

      It's really a shame you never learn. Still have no idea whether it's pure laziness or whether you are simply not capable of doing better. Frankly, if this is the pinnacle of your cognitive abilities -- if you really are incapable of planning your life any better or making better decisions -- then you really should qualify for disability because you just aren't capable of living on your own.

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    2. That's the crux of the issue, isn't it, P3?

      Tony does not seem able to change. He makes the same mistakes overandoverandoverandover...and nothing seems to click. Yet, he IS capable of living on his own. The dude is a survivor, if nothing else. He continually makes poor decisions, is continually on the brink of bust, and yet he always finds some way to pull things together at the last moment and make something work.

      So....is this really a situation where someone isn't "capable of living on (his) own?" Or is this a situation where someone refuses to change and is living the life he really does want to live?

      I would posit the latter. We know it's not that his disability prevents him from changing his behavior, because he DOES alter his behavior when the situation is dire enough. So, I ask myself WHY does he repeatedly make decisions that repeatedly put him in the same situation? I think that, on some core level, this is the situation he WANTS to be in. Maybe he feels he doesn't deserve any better and so continually strives for failure. Maybe he feels most comfortable living close to the streets and homeless, and the accoutrements we all enjoy only feel foreign and threatening to him.

      There is a REASON for his pattern. Right?

      s.i.

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    3. Truth is people are just not honest with themselves in GENERAL, much less someone on the spectrum. They say they want one thing and do the OPPOSITE. This is how things work for the vast majority of people. Ask any woman that has said "I want a nice guy" and somehow ends up with jerk offs who sleep with all their friends and max out their credit cards.

      Can TBC be honest with himself? Not anymore than you or I can (oh yeah, I want the six pack and to finish a marathon under 4 hours). You're right. We DO stick to what is most comfortable for us.

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    4. Deep, s.i. . . . deep.... And you may be right. If anyone understands Tony (or is in a position to understand him) it may be you.

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    5. The answer lies in the lightning36 equation: Asperger's + gambling addiction + other psychological impairments + stubbornness + laziness + cognitive issues = TBC.

      I will send my bill along with the unpaid lightning36 taxi bill from several trips.

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    6. hell i even have a storage unit that he could store his things in. But alas he would rather throw them away

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    7. dont forget to add a "TBC Experience" fee. It is like a resort fee but TBC.

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  16. Heading to Commerce around 5 or 6.

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  17. Replies
    1. just waking up, leaving spa, there within 15 min

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    2. pretty much will NEVER be awake during the hours of 5-10pm, and pretty much will ALWAYS be awake and playing 11pm to 10am. (at least til i find other housing solutions or leave this area). might still go to Fresno, sac, reno, carson, lake elsinore, Temecula, Ventura, etc feel free to come say hi after 11pm

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  18. after an extremely long night, im finally up $4 more for a total of $2461. my phone and net are due anyday and i almost dropped back over $100. never played a single game of anything yet but $40 NL. no stud, no omaha, no bigger NL, no PLO/plo8. i feel safer playing nothing that might be too risky.

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  19. Ok, Hustler Casino has a tournament series going on in which 1st place is guaranteed $125,000. I will not be at Commerce at all this week. Good luck.

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