just woke up a short time ago, and had some weird dream--in which Alaskagal drove to Jean to pick me up and take me to vegas, and had a big van. Crystal (dealer i know)--NOT the famous songwriter with the same name-- was in the back of the van, and Akgal told me the reason she gave me a lift was because Crystal asked her to because Crystal wanted to fool around in the back of the van, and Crystal was asking me why Sahar told her i cant get hard. on the way to vegas--they drove off the road, and I started running for my life because theyd just stopped to pick up Grrrouchie, and i dreamed he wanted to kick my ass for fooling around with his girl (not sure if that was supposed to be Sahar or Crystal). then all of sudden it all switches around, im in a casino in Biloxi im banned at--(although they dont know it because id never been there before) and im wearing a disguise, and i'm about to steal a guys wallet who dropped it under the poker table, but i kept seeing Nick from Binions watching me too close.
so now that i have such a huge roll of $3176 and can go move into a mobile home park in AZ or FL and be on my own near a nice pokerroom, whats the most important thing to do now? is it to protect the money i have for life and never touch it--so im never below 3k again--or is the most important thing to keep growing the roll so ill have enough to play $1-2 NL comfortably?
i thought i hear once u have a large roll its more important to protect it than it is a small roll, but of course, im always the other way around.
now lets be honest--im one lazy sob--and i dont like to work much-and what may surprise u is i dont like to gamble any more than i feel i have to. in other words-i see it as WORK and a JOB and not as fun. i do it for one reason and one reason only--to get the money needed to survive. and pokers a lot more work--and harder to win at--than VBJ is. so what this means is once ive had a small profit--im happy for the day and want to take the day off. u see, i dont get my hours in like i did when i was 15 yrs younger--before the internet came along. back then, if i wasnt broke and out panhandling to come up with some moolah--id be sitting at the $1-5 stud game nonstop.
and in cali for example--i keep taking frequent breaks at the tables with small wins, (quitting the game) and why i like it more than vegas--u can always move tables with the min $40 again. the only penalty u pay on a voluntary table change--is having to post $2.
yeah im over $3000--quite a bit over matter of fact--all the way up to $3176. never thought id win that much on the VBJ this past week. But do i really want to go into vegas and start giving that back in the $1-2 NL downtown just so i can have clean laundry? thats still not a lot of money when its ur entire lifes savings. so id be quite pissed if i lost as little as 2 buyins.
So the question is--am i still a poker player? or am i turning into an AP, who will play ANY casino game in which he can get an edge--not just 1 game? and who has a better chance over the long run of consistent profits now that the poker games arent as easy as they used to be? an AP or a poker player?
one thing that really bothered me someone said in the comments--that i shouldnt be in Jean trying to develop better discipline on the VBJ. Hello? i thought one of my biggest problems was not having enough self control or discipline. so much so as a matter of fact, a lot of people said i should get counseling or not gamble at all anymore. well, if this is true--shouldnt trying to become as self controlled and disciplined as possible be the 100% most important thing i should be doing? this comment lost me.
so how am i doing on the discipline? no really huge bets, but is that mainly due to a run of good luck? ive had some losses, i did quit $159 down once instead of waiting for the next shoe, then betting $159 off the top on a neutral count to try and get it all back. but ive had some laspes in discipline too, such as the bet of $53 once and the 5 spots of $20 once. a lot of the time the games been so full last 2 days i had to only play 1 spot, maybe 2.
for some reason i feel my chances of BIG losses are better at $1-2 than on the VBJ--ive seen it happen. u see, the VBJ i can play for lower stakes--due to all the $100 min buyins all over vegas. and theres no good spread limit promotions now that the Palms is done. But since its true my overall win should still only be $10 a day or less in the long term with this low of a roll--ive also got a far better chance of making $100 a day (a decent days salary to live on and afford a nice apt to urself when u times it by 30 days) at $1-2 NL. especially if i get to the point i can ever buyin $200-300 a shot instead of $100.
the game has changed so much in the past 10 yrs, u really need to play a lot different than u did years ago. the days are over when weak players will call u down with top pair, weak kicker. nowdays u are always behind when called, and instead of making ur money by valuebetting weak players when u have a good hand, u make the money by forcing nits like me with poor postflop skills to FOLD. ive been doing poor because ive been having a hard time making people fold. and thats why i like playing in cali better. there i may not be able to get folds anymore than in vegas--but in cali u still can make money getting called by much weaker hands. its like 2000 again poker in cali.
so because of the way poker has changed--a big buyin is a lot more important than it used to be--and is why $3000 is NOTHING for $1-2 nowdays. u see nowdays the people who beat the game over the long run--arent the local rocks and grinders. its the donkeys, the tourists, the retards who like to straddle both on the button and under the gun. they can do that because they buyin for more and can play better after the flop. im handicapped because psychology has become more important in poker--and math a lot less so.
and thats why im better off at VBJ