well for the first time in a long time (maybe cause i hadnt ate a real meal all day--just junk food) my tooth was feeling funny tonight. but now its ok, i took 1 aleve only instead of 2, and then i ate a meal in the coffee shop. shouldnt have wasted $78 last night taking a room at 7am here, but i didnt feel like wasting hours on multiple buses getting home.
and im so pissed. im way out in the middle of nowhere, on a dealers angels VBJ machine but it hits on soft 17 instead of standing, and im wonder if that would make it unbeatable. for the 25c an hour i might otherwise beat it for might be disappeared with this rule. also my chart isnt right for that rule, i would assume i need +4 or more to now be over 100% instead of +3 running count, maybe even plus 5.
ive not been winning, and i cut my max bets way down to 3 spots of $18, which i rarely bet. trying to avoid overbetting after the big drop the day before of over $500. no more $50 bets, thats for sure. but on good counts i lose most of my money because ive been told not to lower my bet then and when u lose a ton of hands in a row its horrible.
at one point tonight id got back about $200--and then i put it all back in again but $9 and then it got spent on food. im back in the $3700s again from about $3910.
so ive been talking to mom thinking about going home tomorrow, and she is arranging for roy to get me at the airport and is reassuring me i wont be forced to put out money for things i dont want to do while in ks. she is so controlling of mark (and me as a kid) i worry being made to spend money on things i dont want to. Josie knows what she is like, remember how she cleaned my apt while i was in vegas without my consent, then charged me a $100 fee since Mark found an adult mag hidden under the bed? if it wasnt for her religious beliefs, she would allow Mark to visit me instead--but she thinks vegas is sinful and dont care for los angeles either.
this is why i can only handle a weeks stay or 10 days at most--if i catch the plane home may 4, which is a lowest fare around. but that might go up if i dont book it now. and i dont think i have enough to go back to vegas to live--i think i should get off the plane then catch a bus into LA. because its the only way ill stop playing VBJ machines.
and as far as going to toledo--i dont have the money. the only reason i was going to visit my family in the first place was i thought id be going thru KS anyway on the way to toledo--u see i thought i was taking the amtrak from Kingman az (by way of laughlin) and i thought id be about $2000 better off.
none of this wouldve happened (big vbj losses i mean) had amtrak not screwed up by not telling the shuttle driver about my reservation--id been on the way to KS a long time ago. their screwup really made my life a lot worse, and my life will especially be worse when i get back from KS. i just hope ill still be over $3000 or i dont know how ill survive. ill need money desperately when i get back.
and although the plane is nicer and faster--i still worry the whole time im landing and taking off about crashes. not so much while in the air but definitely upon landing and takeoff.
i fully intended to not bother to go--when i took all my stuff out of my place in vegas 2 days early and walked 6 miles in the middle of the night to come here (almost getting hit by many tractor trailers in the dark)--but after talking to mom and Josie, i feel i should and i also feel like its Gods will i go and id be letting him down if i dont go and he would be very angry. and i should be getting to sleep now--i do have a ride to the airport i think--and i need to wake up in time to check out too. i think the plane leaves at 4.04 pm so i should be there by 2.30 or 3?