but this blog keeps getting more and more readers. (or at least it looks like its getting more and more readers.) still no ads being sold, but the average viewership somehow went from 1000-2000 to 3000+ views per post. now i attribute some of that to people checking to see if ive posted yet because the viewership is always higher when theres more time between posts, but not that much higher, so the viewership is going up. and since im getting fed up with negativity and not getting paid for my work, im not so sure if thats a good thing or not.
Ive held back on a lot of blog posts ive wanted to do that would either anger a lot of people or get me committed to an institution. but its getting hard to hold back anymore.
No one but me (and maybe Ray) knows the struggles of the real life day to day grind of poker. and im sure its why this blog gets so many readers. i dont sugarcoat the truth, and the truth sure is ugly in this world. not having a lot of money to back me up, or a car (both of which would make my life 100x easier and less stressful) makes my life a lot different than the glamourous lives of the tourny pros u read about in Card player magazine. People who have jobs, homes, cars, or govt assistance who also play poker for spare change have no idea what its really like for the true grinders like me, whove stood the test of time.
most of the time u will have a high stress level, be quite angry at others stupidity and life of ease compared to urs, (and the feeling they arent earning their money like u are really really earning anything u win). u see, u actually have to PLAY GOOD POKER to win. and looking back on all the missed opportunities (and the lack of money back then to take advantage of them online opportunities) will then make u angry too.
so naturally, when taking an hour long bus ride back to ur hotel and coming into a room where the overhead light by the door is not working and the only light that works either being the one by the bed or the one in the bathroom far away, u are going to be pissed off the maid came in the room and shut the light off. Shitholes like these dont have do not disturb signs to hang on the door, (or working lights either it looks like) and u sure dont want to leave ur door open where anyone walking by can force their way in while u look for the light. nor do u want to let a tiny bit of light in opening the window. so u stumble around and stub ur foot feeling for a light.
nothing makes a customer angrier and drives them away more than a motel being so cheap to upset and anger a customer so royally to save about 25c in electric bills id gladly pay it to keep the lights on. i dont appreciate having maids come in my room hardly ever, and people living in apts instead of hotels dont know what a relief its like not to have to deal with it. they dont even think of things like this--and what type of hell others have to go thru that werent born so lucky as them.
some hotels are worse. at least this one dont shut off all heating and cooling air power so u either walk into a very hot or very cold room where the temperature must be readjusted immediately, at least they left that alone.
and another annoyance. wasting money replacing the soap simply because i opened it, when the soap was completely fine. now i got to go to the work of tearing the paper open again when my teeth can barely open it.
my health is in such bad shape and i need to see a dr for so many things (it looks like maybe im getting diabetes PPP said being tired a lot more could be a sign too besides needing to urinate a lot and in very small quantities) but i pretty much am sure ill die of 1 of 3 things. a heart attack, murder, or a bad tooth. i just hope my friends in the poker world hold the same type of funeral for me they did for Chad Brown.
things like this wouldnt bother me so much if id not missed my first bus, and came home stuck much less, or if id came home a winner. i was rushing out of the Taj right after eating in a cab to the bus terminal (because i dont feel safe walking to the jitney at night or waiting for it at night) i gave myself 8 minutes (and wished id had more time) but i still didnt make it to the terminal in time, i missed it by under 5 minutes and had to wait 55 minutes til the next bus. im pissed enough ac has gotten so much more unsafe than when i was homeless 15 yrs ago here in the summer and the streets so much more empty of tourists (making them 100x more dangerous) and the city's population so much more destitute and desperate for money--that i have to waste the extra money instead of paying $2.25 for the jitney. im pissed about the times i had to waste that money due to it raining too and that was during daylight hours.
so i didnt want to just sit there 55 minutes, the same guy asking for money twice, so i caught the first bus 8 blocks up the street to the Trop not to play poker, but to see a few hands of BJ on the machine to recover the $261 i was out when i left the Taj. yes i know it shuffles every hand. but it still pays 3-2 and has decent rules so its still over 99% payback even though it cannot be beaten over the long run.
lost quite rapidly and of the $1298 i had in my possession when i arrived at the Taj today, i left the Trop with only $194 of it. was in a rush again to make it to the bus terminal by 10.40 so i again paid $10 for a cab. (cabs really overcharge by the mile for short distances here). its about 1.2 miles. ive never seen any city where its that bad. made the bus this time 5 minutes to spare. the first time i went to the bus terminal i still had $1037 of the money after expenses. after buying some milk and food at the nearby gas station when getting off the bus to go home, ive now got even less than the $194.
its weird theres no hookers on white horse pike, or dope dealers, considering the rooms cost so much less out here than in the really bad areas of AC. ud think theyd want to go to where they could rent the rooms for half the price. or maybe those prices are only given online or to those with credit or debit cards. but dont ALL motels make u have one of those or are there still motels that dont? maybe MIB knows.
yes prices are less in (and outside of) atlantic city than about anywhere else outside of reno or laughlin. yes games are a lot easier to win here, people are much more out of patience here and make bad plays. the wiser players avoid AC. casino players and sports and horse betters are the ones coming here and those who use the buses.
and yes ive won a lot more in AC than i ever did at de park too. and a lot more than i did in vegas. But all of that means NOTHING if i cannot refrain from trying to get even playing games i shouldnt. im lucky Vinces friend Dave walked me to the BOA atm after dark the day before where i deposited $1500. at least it kept me from blowing any more on the VBJ. i had to give him $10 too, i wonder if vince wouldve approved of him charging me that? he is here in town for a week then returning to vegas.
and if i dont stop playing stud being in AC isnt good for me either. i really miss the game and its my old road game, but it just dont seem beatable anymore. i lost $140 of the poker loss at $10-20 stud today, and the other $158 of the poker loss on $1-2 NL. (and won $49 on a machine at the taj). cannot seem to win at that game. i dont play it bad but the others arent too bad, they have played stud a lot in their lives but they made 2 suckouts on me that hurt.
im still disappointed i left a rather interesting book called "fuse of armageddon" behind in my hotel at ballys the day before too.
thinking maybe its best to go to toledo. im sure the games suck there, but at least Ray would be able to understand me and be available for talks consultations, and to help me avoid games i shouldnt. i just wish he had a bankroll of his own. i see a lot of rent prices in toledo under $500 too, but not nearly as many as evansville. i wonder if theres any other cities really dirt cheap like evansville ive left out? kind of would like to just play online like i did in Butte MT. it was less stressful, just staying home all day. and still i went to the cardroom some nights. i dont know how i was lucky enough to both see an apt for $230 a month in 2002-2003 and not only that get the landlord to actually rent to me when i was just passing thru on a greyhound bus and had only about $800 to my name if i remember right.
Final thing pissing me off, i paid $35 for a nice new suitcase with wheels. 2 weeks later one of the wheels has came off. i cant figure out why they come off, maybe its from so much overuse, or wheeling it down stairs or concrete?