Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Im ashamed of myself

I know what the right thing is to do now, because of following the advice of PPP and Pokerdogg in tracking my hourly rate on my cell phone, i know which games i should be playing (and just as importantly--which games are a waste of time. But that didnt keep me from doing what i knew i shouldnt be doing. And im talking about poker. i didnt play any machines and hardly have touched the VBJ machine since coming to FL. u see, i play til im so tired when i quit all i want to do is get on the first bus heading home--play so much longer than i should--i dont feel like playing anything else.

So here i am, dead tired, coming home about 3-4 hours later than i should and its about 2pm in the afternoon. and im stuck $63 for the night, and at one point was $75 ahead. I cant play my best when im tired, or when im in games too small for me. This is why i should never play a stud game, a limit game, or any form of omaha that isnt PLO or PLO8. But those werent the game i was playing that i shouldnt have. It was $1-1 NL instead of $1-2 NL. and i got too bored with the slow pace. made a bad bluff attempt against a guy that had folded every time before who was raising too much. (first mistake id made 3 reraises earlier --(an hour or so) was showing a bluff with 24 offsuit. it worked fine, but the mistake was in showing it only since i planned to make the same move multiple more times. so i made a poor shove with A4 hearts and he called me with KK and i lost just over $125. that hand i never showed, i just claimed i had queens. (opinions on me NOT showing that one?)

and then again i wasted $18 for an Uber to the casino, because i didnt want to be standing around waiting for a bus in the rain close to midnite and then walking a mile about midnite either.

i guess the one piece of good news i have is ive earned my 3rd gas card now. still unsold as of yet. and though i never redeposited on Bovada when i got down to $0, im now back to $12 on there. just been playing no higher than 2c5cent after the $9 tourny win off my points.

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so tonight, when i wake up and go to the casino--, i wonder if i will find in myself the willpower to not be afraid of multiple big losses wiping out WEEKS of progress. u see, since leaving Ballys AC, ive got back about $1000. since im sitting on $12,300+ thats 41 buyins of $300 max in the $1-2 NL game, which im still clearing $30 an hour in for 85 hours play considering i logged 0 sessions last night (since i dont log $1-1).

why do i not log those games? many reasons, but one of them which ive never talked about, is i want to try and refrain from PLAYING those games. and if only $1-2 NL "counts" it should be all i play, so i can get as many logged hours in as possible. wouldnt it be nice (albeit practically impossible) if i could still be over $25 per hour once id reach 1000 logged hours at this particular cardroom? ive got close to 1500 logged hours in total for $1-2 NL, but certainly not at this cardroom.

so if i went and played $1-2 NL, and bought in $300 (like i should and probably could with my bankroll now being over 40 buyins). i fear dropping 3 buyins in a row, and that would destroy all the progress. psychologically, it makes me feel like ive got 3 buyins instead of 41, and i guess that mentally destroys me from making the right decisions. and this could be why i cant stand any loss. Playing smaller than i should lets me feel like if i start losing, i can always play higher to get it back. i cannot do that if i start off losing $300 right off u see. Pokerdogg? Vook? WEC?

if i had the guts to try it-- i wonder how many buyins id actually lose due to bad luck? or maybe id start off winning $300 right off and doubling up? if i had the guts to play without fear--i could even have 60 buyins of $200 min buys in $2-5 NL or $5-5 PLO (yes the min buy here is only $200 in the PLO, not $500 as i thought.)

also on the way home i passed a place renting mobile homes for $125-150 a week, every other bill included. sure would be a lot cheaper but i have no idea how safe id be at night or who my neighbors would be or how difficult it would be to be accepted as a tenant. im wasting way too much on rent and my times about up but i hesitate to put myself in danger.

the only smart decision was to lock up the $1400 in the atm the day before after the one good win of $863 in the $1-2 NL.

And after getting this typed--now im way too sleepy to answer munk. (this is why i need an ipod at the tables like a lot of players have). All the pros and good players spend all their time watching TV on an ipod at the table, i see it all the time. But i cant afford one. and when i wake up i will want to get to the casino before the last bus quits so i wont be able to then either. never enough time to do the important things like writing him and seeing drs and dentists--which is why i shouldnt waste time in shitty games of $1-1, etc




26 comments:

  1. I'll give you my iPod touch for your three gas cards.

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    1. no i sure wouldnt spend $240 on one. not even $100. not nearly wealthy enough to do that.

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  2. "Playing smaller than i should lets me feel like if i start losing, i can always play higher to get it back. i cannot do that if i start off losing $300 right off u see. Pokerdogg? Vook? WEC?"

    You have strange thoughts running thru your head so hard to say anything to you, especially since you never listen lol. But the thing is, you have money to play, you have been traveling around, you have outlasted many prophecies of going broke immediately, you seem to have been a success in your own way. Now,the way you are going, I guess you could go broke or near it at any turn or tilt. But, it seems whatever weird way you have of playing is paying off. I think it helps tremendously if you stay off the VBJ/Video Poker.

    I can relate to your game more than most I guess since I play similar to you. I generally buyin NL games at 10 times Big Blind (and 16.666 times BB for limit games) so that means I initially buyin to 1/2 and even 1/3 games at $200. I have never been one to buyin at the absolute min, cause I don't play a lot of hands and want a payoff if I hit a good one and get it all in. Depending on the texture of the game, I may top off my buyin to $300, or if I get down $100 I may either top off to $200 or $300 again depending on how the game feels to me.

    I was in a 1/3 game in NM recently that was wild and had over 7k on the table one night, so while I tended to start with a $200 buyin I quickly topped off to $300 if I didn't start winning right away.

    In the end of the day you have to do what is comfortable, because I think when you get out of the 'comfort zone' you play differently and may send yourself into tilt easier.

    It is just really unfortunate that TBC is this martingaling monkey, things would be so much better if he could somehow get off that banana.

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  3. Digging the new bold text, makes your silly point of view even more ridiculous.

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  4. I think I had mentioned this before, martingaling poker buyins is worse than doing it in BJ or VP. It is worse because you are increasing your exposure when you are likely on tilt from losing the initial buyins.

    For a 1/2 game, just stick to a fixed buyin. Don't buy in for $300, I don't think your strength is in deep stack poker based on everything hand history you have ever posted. I would suggest buying in for $100 or $150, it is deep enough to work with post flop, but not so much that it affects you psychologically.

    I use the 3 buyins rule. If you loss 3 buyins in a session, go home. That's it, no trying to win it back with VBJ or VP.

    I am confused about your comment on iPods. Don't you have an iPhone? An iPod touch is just an iPhone without the phone part basically. Are you talking about an iPad instead? Regardless, you can watch movies, play games, etc etc, on an iPhone.

    Incidentally, my worse streak in poker came when I got an iPod touch a few years ago, and I started playing games on it while playing poker. I don't play games anymore while playing poker. I do, however, play online sometimes, and I sometimes watch movies on my tablet. I do this knowing full well it reduces my live winrate. However, I make it up by winning online, and I do it only when most of the other players are regulars and predictable. When the game gets tough, I turn everything else off.

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    1. clearly i meant an Ipad, where u can play online poker on

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    2. You can play online poker on ipod touch and iPhone also, so clearly you were not being clear.

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  5. most good players aren't on their tablet at the tabes. the good players are watching the game. the huge nits are on their tablets and are terrible for the games. if they were any good they would be paying more attention and making sure the fish are having fun.

    1/1 isn't too small for you. you're near homeless and claim you can't afford an ipod or to get your tooth fixed. nothing is beneath you. all you really have going to you is you're not a drug addict or alcoholic.

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  6. I don't have any magic advice to cure you of martingaling. Your goals are more focused on finishing up for the day no matter what as opposed to maximizing EV (and realizing long term profits are what matters).

    I guess since your true goal is to finish up for the day (as opposed to generating the most income over time)... Buying in low at $1/$2 and martingaling when you lose makes sense. That is much better than playing machines or stud or whatever (I think you can beat low limit PLO so I won't discourage that)

    Good luck.

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  7. If you won't go to the dentist, ship me the money I need. I don't have the time or inclination to chase after your lifeless carcass and have it shipped back to Kansas AND raise the funds to do it.

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    1. question if it is lifeless then it isnt moving ,so y chasing it????? OH SHIT!!!!!!! TBC is a zombie. Max Brooke's books r REAL #WorldWarZisgoingtohappen

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    2. How could you tell the difference between zombie TBC and regular TBC? Parts of him are already rotting...

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    3. ez peasy 1) real TBC will have a suitcase( on wheels) on his person 2) real TBC will b eating pumpkin pie and not want to eat brains

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  8. The most of the people who live in those low-rent trailers that you see will be low-lifes and it is unlikely that you would be safe there. If a screwdriver wont open a locked trailer door then a tire iron will. Only if free WIFI that works is included should you consider one of those low-rent trailers and then only if whatever you have inside of the trailer when you are not there is stuff that you dont care if it is stolen.

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    1. well id certainly have a lot bigger accomodations however, and id be saving about $700+ a month that could quickly accumulate. surely a door could be forced open any motel or window if someone seriously wanted to break in.

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  9. So today, i wanted to make sure i did the right thing, (unlike yesterday). but as it ended up, i actually lost more today. i bought in about 12.30pm for $195 in the $1-2 NL, and sat in it the entire time for over 10 hours. and now im down to only $22 an hour winrate for 94 hours total. The highest i ever got my stack up to was $287, then it slowly dwindled down to under $200. Then i lost a big pot to a guy who had the nerve to call the clock on me after putting me allin, a black guy who id played with several times this week. i flopped a set of 8s (and ive had a lot of horrible luck in the past 2 months flopping sets of 8s). he got his flush on the turn and put me allin on the river and i was getting almost 3 1/2 to 1 on the money when i called and most said the way the guy was playing i had to call. he usually loses, but left the game today with almost $1700.

    i rebought $300 more and at one point was back to only being down $98. kept trying to sell the gas card, but no buyers were in today and i still got it. then i loosened up my play way too much (including a $130 preflop call with 67 hearts due to 4 callers) and eventually quit the game quite pissed, with only $86.

    the problem was--i stayed MUCH too long, when i get tired, i need to leave. IMMEDIATELY.

    then i went and played a little bit of live table $25 BJ. its better than the machine which shuffles every hand and gives such shitty comps. constantly was moving tables looking for a running count of +1 or better, (which isnt nearly enough to make it +ev) but what the hell. its better than -1. recovered $200 this way, and then left on the bus. at one point i actually found a +9 running count.

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    1. it's not just that when you are tired you play bad. It is much more that when you are down you play bad. You take way too many chances and see way too many flops (or bluff too much or whatever). You take all of these chances because it is another way of martingaling back to being up for the day.

      I'm not giving you advice to stop because you won't. it's what you do. Just telling it like it is if you are ever able to modify the behavior.

      touch luck on the set of 8s hand. didn't you win almost $1K with a bunch of sets the other day? Sounds like you were fortunate not to have a bunch of flush draws hit yesterday.

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    2. When a real pro loses he/she goes home - your life will never ever change - you will always hate losing and always try to get it back - you will never ever in this lifetime be any different - good luck!

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    3. When they call the clock, they aren't bluffing.

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    4. I was in a game last week and a person not in the hand called the clock.The players gave him so much grief for messing with the juicy game that he finally changed tables.

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  10. Tony, get yourself an I Pad Mini for approx. $160.00 Treat yourself to one after a winning session. You deserve to treat your self better.

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  11. Tony, do you know the Taylor Swift song, "Shake It Off"? It needs to become your go to song when shit happens. You'll feel better.

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  12. Tony, no one really cares about gas cards and how much money you wasted on the uber.
    You should spend more time talking about your religious and political views, your philosophy, and all the things you want to change about the world.

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