At one point since leaving Detroit for Atlantic city (never was intended to be my final destination by the way) i had $21,500 while at the high water mark. This was MORE than the $20,970 i had before i bought my plane ticket that morning. Since then ive been dropping steadily and if u look at my phone graphs, quite a bit has been on live poker, most of it in fact, (the $1500 on the 3 card poker machine in the Trop the other day notwithstanding) plus about $500 more on some regular slot machines, mostly gemtiles in the Borgata. Parx got rid of their old shufflemaster VBJ machines, not even the bad kind remain. so ive not lost one penny on BJ or slots here in Parx. Then well over $1000 got used on motels, hotels, trains, planes and Ubers in the past 3 weeks too. its been quite a while since i bought the plane tix.
What this all means is im at the end of my rope with no more tolerance for losing any money. I'm too old to start over from scratch with a roll of $2 or $3 thousand dollars. and having tasted big money on $45,000 not more than 3 months prior, i feel tremendously broke everyday (stressed out by it and feel i cant spend a dime, no matter how much its badly needed and will help in the long run). and whats worse, no one can relate to me over it, except maybe Ray, who would also never spend a dime on things he needed. Not only losing, i have no tolerance for policies which annoy me, inconsiderate things other do, people who dont care, people with insincerity who fake they care when only making conversation, microwaves not turning in circles (worry its not cooking fully and ill die of food poisining) fridges which freeze the milk, inability to get others to see my point mostly cause theyre too dumb to and dont care, and not having any friends around here to talk things over with while on the tables. (people who genuinely wish to see me win and improve and play my best-not the kind who wish to take my money).
and being in a bad mood (and worried as to how ill survive paying $75 per night for a long term place to live if i dont wish to waste more money on traveling) i dont really care WHO i get the money from, as long as i get it. whether the money comes from winning it from the other players, or out of the dealers and the cocktail waitresses tips (fuck them anyway since theyre union and like to flaunt in my face their $20,000 jewelry how rich they are) or whether i find it off someones wallet in the bathroom, or out in the parking lot of walmart asking for change. wasnt i told to stay in 1 place and not do no more traveling though im sure theyres many places id be much better off in and living much cheaper with steadier housing. i couldve tooken the $125 spirit flight into vegas tonight, but if i checked out of my room at 11, and the flight dont go til 7pm, and i cant bring my suitcase inside the casino, what was i supposed to do with my luggage in the meanwhile?
i feel like a lot of the players disrespect me (either because of reading the blog--or because since im losing and im not one of the regulars theyre used to seeing--feel im a complete idiot.) the glasses im wearing tend to make others feel this way. i'll make a preflop raise with a big hand and get called in 4-5 places. with hands most wouldnt call most people with. then they always end up hitting the hand no matter how far theyre behind like the previous night in the $2-5 game with KQ off preflop vs AQ suited for $105 left, and with 25 offsuit in the $1-2 then hit trip 5's on the flop into my overpair. I dont see the cliques here i seen in the Trop, but i can recognize thier regulars (and harrahs regulars) theyve been coming there everyday for 20 yrs. i dont recognize the regulars here.
i still wouldve liked to play the $6-12 hilow stud8 and omaha game, but ive held off on the time charge. at least with the time charge in the PLO last night they got out closer to 12 hands per down than 4. the good news is u dont have to call $5 to bring it in, checking the $2 in ur BB works if no straddle or raise. the min buy is only $100 too, so i feel the money goes faster. the lesbian girl in the game had over $3000 in front of her last night.
---more to say later--suffice it to say, just left Parx (where im now banned) and will talk about it later. right now im packing bags to catch the Uber to PHL airport. im soaked its pouring rain, and a long walk thru a huge parking lot and 2 streets to get home. where im going, who can say? truth be told, i need a long vacation away from gambling. i dont need to be forced to win everyday to survive. no one here can relate to how it feels.
---2 days later-- ended up taking the Uber to Newark DE. took me a room not far from DE park. checked in slept all day, then sat in the $1-2 PLO and started losing. eventually (Zin?) from TX sat in, started raising every pot asking how much is the max, dropped about $1000, a lot of which i won so eventually left the casino with a small profit instead of a big loss of $900. some of it was won on the VBJ, its not countable but its now standing on soft 17. guy was mexican living in brownsville with his friends. some of the dealers here know somehow of my blog.
On the hand at Parx which got me banned when the asian guy slowrolled me, flop was 9h TKd i bring it in preflop for $10 with JQd so ive got the nut str8 with the royal open ended redraw. with my luck (being out so much this week and month) i decide not to slow play so i bet $35 on the flop. he bets $80 so i just shove. he thinks awhile then calls. he is loose. board goes runner runner TK for 2 running pair. he looks forever then when the dealers getting ready to ship me the pot finally shows K9 for boat on the river. this is the pot of the night, well over $900, id be $200 up instead of another $700 down. close to 2 weeks rent. at $75-80 per night, i can only afford to live 200 more days without income. i used to be able to prepay 2-3 yrs if i needed to. and when living with a higher standard (by this i mean better hotels and uber over city buses) i cant really go back to the old lifestyle of poverty. not at my age. i feel i spend too much to live, its the cause of lots of stress. if i win $100 a day, i never got any better off. just hold my own is all. if i lose $100 per day i deteriorate rapidly. out well over $1000 for May and my biggest loss in 2016 was $447 in June.
i rose up to quit, and tossed the chips across the table so hard they intermingled with his and another players, so i got banned for 48 hours. i cant afford to live by Parx without a car, (to either sleep in which could easily be done here or close by where its safe) or to get to the lower cost motels down the road. i felt so sick when i lost. i was totally counting on it as hard as the flop hit me and as huge the pot was and overdue i was for the big score. its been like this the whole week and i finally snapped.
i was tired of living in this hotel anyway but everyday instead of spending money to relocate, plus time, its SOO easy to just renew the room, though i couldnt afford it longterm. i need a longterm residence so i just do it. the easy way. moving around isnt easy. plus i didnt know where to go. im heading south, so i should be in Baltimore soon this week. i feel i should go to florida or vegas or shreveport or reno or detroit or stl. i no longer get free play in trop, they cut off the $50 3 times per week. no idea why since i blew the $1500.
now today, i did win $300 in DE park and left early. bought some books up the street for 90% off, some food, then went to my room. played mostly $1-2 PLO. then moved to holdem when up $300, which was the nittiest game ever. not the PL0, the holdem.
--yesterday, now---. today i won $103, $53 in the game only due to the final 2 pots, and turned my $50 slot dollars from playing u get free for 8 hours into $50.49. but the whole $103 went for 2 uber fares, and my $83 hotel. im going to leave once i sleep first.