the reason i feel like playing Blackjack instead of poker is not only have i seen much better Blackjack games here (for those who know how to count a 6 deck shoe which deals out 80-90% of the cards) but i know when i leave for detroit ill never see a good shoe game this cheap ever again. unless theyre hidden out in the woods in certain WI or MN casinos.
a blackjack player with the proper bankroll whose good at it can make well over $100 an hour and theres no way in hell a good poker player can ever hope to make that much. even the omaha game here im only averaging $87 an hour in over a 41 hour sample size. a good poker player can at most make $14-20 an hour in $1-2 and maybe $20-35 an hour in $2-5. maybe a good $5-10 player earns $40-70 an hour i dont know, i dont play it.
so of course id like to increase the roll from playing BJ. ive heard it sometimes might be possible to double a bankroll every 100 hours if the game gives u a big enough edge and u size the bets properly, which isnt the best way to play because then its too obvious to tell your counting.
so again, i dropped a bunch of money the other day playing BJ. i was briefly down to $14.8k from $17k. but now im back to $15.5k. i also lost $300 or so at poker in the last 3 sessions. weekends the hotel prices are out of sight, but thats when the only truly good games are in this town, and im talking about the omaha games. and because the omaha games are high low, its much lower variance than NL.
i should buy 6 decks of cards and a shoe for dealing them at walmart and until im steadily beating the game using my systems of betting, not play it live til i win consistently and have the discipline to never bet over 1%. which means no 3 spots of $100 when the count is exceptionally high.
still its hard to see why my luck at it is so bad, because on negative counts, im always either sitting out or flat betting the minimum. so all the money gets out there when its in my favor. im sure if 100 players played the exact same way im doing, less than 5 would lose overall.
its still very annoying to see the game slowed down by people betting the bust bonus or the dealers always trying to encourage others to make sucker bets or to try to make u feel bad for not betting it if u wouldve hit a major bonus. this isnt a good way to make people feel like tipping, (to make them feel stupid for playing correctly). nor is bragging how u make $80-90k a year in tips while in the box, when the vast majority of people earn far less than 20k per year. (an old guy was saying this to 2 oil workers who he kept chatting with, one of whom was considering becoming a dealer).
my tooth been bothering me less the last few days, but that probably just means the pain nerve is dead and needs to come out even more.
Thursday, May 31, 2018
Friday, May 25, 2018
what should you do when a woman pulls out a switchblade and u feel threatened by it?
I really should be sleeping now because i need to be checking out of my hotel soon because theres never anything available to rent except at extremely high prices in blackhawk on weekends, although theres some extended stay americas for under $60 in denver thru priceline. what i should be doing is going to the airport and catching a plane to detroit, but id like to play in the game at the ameristar one more time which only goes on weekends. but im going to be dead tired and i wont even be able to sleep due to noon checkout. and theres a terrible long waitlist if u dont get seated at the beginning when the game first opens. this is why i hate playing at the ameristar until late at night.
the monarch doesnt have a hotel, but theyre building one. and i was in for so much money in their 6 deck shoe Blackjack game (which deals out 90% of the cards) the host came up and introduced himself and asked if there was anything he could do for me. i wanted some match play chips to recover part of my losses, but his supervisor wouldnt let him since i dont live around here. but i did get $70 food comps added to my card. id bought in for $5000 a little at a time, and eventually cashed out $3100. at one point i was under $1500 left.
theres a lot of good shoe games in blackhawk that put the cut card very deep in the deck but most of them are either too crowded or the $5 minimum goes up on the weekends. one funny thing about the $100 max bet by colorado state law, some rooms even let u bet 7 spots at once if u like. and the lodge doesnt. but the monarch had no problem with me betting 3-6 spots.
and tonight, while playing in the golden gates once poker shut down for the night a guy came and sat at my blackjack table. i didnt know he knew how to count, except he raised his bets a few times same time i did and wasnt making mistakes or wasnt betting the side bet.
but when i quit with $1000 back of what id lost in another casino earlier that morning, and freaked me out at first getting my attention outside the door of the casino (im paranoid about robberies) he told me i was the best counter and the first he remembered ever seeing in blackhawk. he mentioned he was on a short roll and i can tell u what he was doing wrong, he wasnt spreading anywhere close to what u should to beat a shoe game. i normally bet from 1-100 units and he was spreading from 1-4 units. this is also why i have such huge variance of which i so often seem to be on the wrong side of. if 100 counters played exactly like i do, most wouldve done far better than i did.
and when i went back to my room at the Isle, i wanted food at the deli to take to my room, and i wasnt sure if it was open, so i asked if any employee was around here. (eventually i found out this evening it was closed when it normally isnt). this was about 4.30am. a girl walked into the deli and asked me if i was talking to her, and i asked her if she was an employee and she wanted to know if i thought she had a uniform on.
she looked like a crackhead or meth user and the guy i later saw her and her girlfriend talking to seemed like some young thug, but surprisingly enough, he was white instead of black unless all the other girls ive seen in the denver poker rooms. she asked me if id won money tonight, so my first thought was she was a hooker. (remember, im nervous because i was carrying over $5000 in cash on me). this was before i seen a guy around her. and she asked me if she could borrow $1 because shed lost all her money and shed came to town with her girlfriend. then she asked me if id be willing to give her $20 for her switchblade she could sell me, and pulled it out and showed me the blade it scared the hell out of me. remember theres no employees around and ive got a fortune on me. she said she had to earn some money for the bus into denver. but i told her i had no need for a switchblade.
had she not had a switchblade on her id wanted to find out if she was a hooker, and if she wasnt with a black guy, offer her a way she couldve earned $20. but it freaked me the hell out, so much so after i went to the monarch to get food to take to the room, and noticed her still in there with 2 other people 15 minutes later when i came back across the street, i told security and i think she seen me talking to them. now i worry for my safety because i worry theyll be around town and see me walking down the street at night and know i told on her. but what should i have done?
my tooth is at its worst when drinking coffee or any hot or cold substance and especially when trying to chew on food, hard food. so its needing out as fast as possible. taking medication for pain wont help. i just have to avoid any liquid thats not room temperature and im sipping cold water extremely slowly and carefully. i feel like a huge fool for not doing all 3 at once when i was with vince. got half a mind to fly to vegas to do the work.
i hate to leave this area, its the best blackjack games ive ever seen in my life and same for the poker games. too bad theres no housing.
the monarch doesnt have a hotel, but theyre building one. and i was in for so much money in their 6 deck shoe Blackjack game (which deals out 90% of the cards) the host came up and introduced himself and asked if there was anything he could do for me. i wanted some match play chips to recover part of my losses, but his supervisor wouldnt let him since i dont live around here. but i did get $70 food comps added to my card. id bought in for $5000 a little at a time, and eventually cashed out $3100. at one point i was under $1500 left.
theres a lot of good shoe games in blackhawk that put the cut card very deep in the deck but most of them are either too crowded or the $5 minimum goes up on the weekends. one funny thing about the $100 max bet by colorado state law, some rooms even let u bet 7 spots at once if u like. and the lodge doesnt. but the monarch had no problem with me betting 3-6 spots.
and tonight, while playing in the golden gates once poker shut down for the night a guy came and sat at my blackjack table. i didnt know he knew how to count, except he raised his bets a few times same time i did and wasnt making mistakes or wasnt betting the side bet.
but when i quit with $1000 back of what id lost in another casino earlier that morning, and freaked me out at first getting my attention outside the door of the casino (im paranoid about robberies) he told me i was the best counter and the first he remembered ever seeing in blackhawk. he mentioned he was on a short roll and i can tell u what he was doing wrong, he wasnt spreading anywhere close to what u should to beat a shoe game. i normally bet from 1-100 units and he was spreading from 1-4 units. this is also why i have such huge variance of which i so often seem to be on the wrong side of. if 100 counters played exactly like i do, most wouldve done far better than i did.
and when i went back to my room at the Isle, i wanted food at the deli to take to my room, and i wasnt sure if it was open, so i asked if any employee was around here. (eventually i found out this evening it was closed when it normally isnt). this was about 4.30am. a girl walked into the deli and asked me if i was talking to her, and i asked her if she was an employee and she wanted to know if i thought she had a uniform on.
she looked like a crackhead or meth user and the guy i later saw her and her girlfriend talking to seemed like some young thug, but surprisingly enough, he was white instead of black unless all the other girls ive seen in the denver poker rooms. she asked me if id won money tonight, so my first thought was she was a hooker. (remember, im nervous because i was carrying over $5000 in cash on me). this was before i seen a guy around her. and she asked me if she could borrow $1 because shed lost all her money and shed came to town with her girlfriend. then she asked me if id be willing to give her $20 for her switchblade she could sell me, and pulled it out and showed me the blade it scared the hell out of me. remember theres no employees around and ive got a fortune on me. she said she had to earn some money for the bus into denver. but i told her i had no need for a switchblade.
had she not had a switchblade on her id wanted to find out if she was a hooker, and if she wasnt with a black guy, offer her a way she couldve earned $20. but it freaked me the hell out, so much so after i went to the monarch to get food to take to the room, and noticed her still in there with 2 other people 15 minutes later when i came back across the street, i told security and i think she seen me talking to them. now i worry for my safety because i worry theyll be around town and see me walking down the street at night and know i told on her. but what should i have done?
my tooth is at its worst when drinking coffee or any hot or cold substance and especially when trying to chew on food, hard food. so its needing out as fast as possible. taking medication for pain wont help. i just have to avoid any liquid thats not room temperature and im sipping cold water extremely slowly and carefully. i feel like a huge fool for not doing all 3 at once when i was with vince. got half a mind to fly to vegas to do the work.
i hate to leave this area, its the best blackjack games ive ever seen in my life and same for the poker games. too bad theres no housing.
Tuesday, May 22, 2018
6 days in blackhawk
would like to report that ive been here 6 days now and have not had one losing day, although i did have some losing sessions. my bankroll is now back to $15,300.
i've hesitated to update the blog because i didnt really want to advertise where i was staying but its the Coyote motel 2 miles outside of blackhawk. there is no cab service here, no Uber here, no taxi here, and no shuttle except on fri and saturday nights between 7pm and 1.30 in the morning. so except for the brief time when cdizzy was here and gave me a ride a few times, ive had to either walk it most of the time, and now am walking it with a hell of a lot more cash on me than when i first came to town. its a long ass walk on the open highway. and there is no bank around here to deposit the money and the casino said state law doesnt allow them to store it for me. either walk it or give a stranger recommed to me by the valet guy a $20 tip.
i took it when i first got to town because on priceline, it showed up to $379 a night for a saturday night room at the casino. which ive never paid in my life, although i did find it as low as $197 (low?) elsewhere at a different casino. and i was originally only going to pay for 3 nites at this motel til i found out i could get a week for $250. so instead of paying over $1000 a week in the casino i paid only $250.
its a very tiny room but it did give me access to a fridge, microwave, and a place to do a load of laundry.
but my checkout is in the morning during hours id like to sleep and i sure dont want to continue to renew it especially with the shape my teeth are in needing fixed immediately due to pain, so im checking out, and checking into a casino with 2 vouchers ive earned for free nites. then on friday i can take a shuttle bus into denver and deposit money in the bank and go to the airport.
their omaha 8 5-100 spread limit game doesnt normally go at the ameristar on sundays, just fridays and saturdays but i won $1312 in that game on sunday and it was a good game. id be very wealthy if i could play it everyday. but i had other $500-800 wins in this town too.
up about $3000 at poker in 6 days. unlike what i thought when i first got here, ive won so much at poker, ive played very little blackjack. i didnt find the $3 shoes, but i did find some $5 shoes which are $10 and up on the weekends. i won a few hundred at them but not much.
being lazy, i waited until tonight to do my laundry at the last possible minute, and it will be finishing up soon. at first when playing poker with cdizzy i thought the games were looser at the isle due to the guy who blew $1200 that night but after a couple of daytime losses there i now think the ameristar offers looser games and so did the gates have an easy game to win in while the tourney was going on.
the 2 teeth numbered 12 and 13 mainly bother me when im drinking coffee or trying to eat. so im trying to be really careful til i get to a dentist the only IV sedation emergency dentist i know who ive never met and doesnt read my blog, only found his ad thru the internet is in colorado springs and not denver. but i dont know anyone in colorado springs able to accompany me to the office.
i've hesitated to update the blog because i didnt really want to advertise where i was staying but its the Coyote motel 2 miles outside of blackhawk. there is no cab service here, no Uber here, no taxi here, and no shuttle except on fri and saturday nights between 7pm and 1.30 in the morning. so except for the brief time when cdizzy was here and gave me a ride a few times, ive had to either walk it most of the time, and now am walking it with a hell of a lot more cash on me than when i first came to town. its a long ass walk on the open highway. and there is no bank around here to deposit the money and the casino said state law doesnt allow them to store it for me. either walk it or give a stranger recommed to me by the valet guy a $20 tip.
i took it when i first got to town because on priceline, it showed up to $379 a night for a saturday night room at the casino. which ive never paid in my life, although i did find it as low as $197 (low?) elsewhere at a different casino. and i was originally only going to pay for 3 nites at this motel til i found out i could get a week for $250. so instead of paying over $1000 a week in the casino i paid only $250.
its a very tiny room but it did give me access to a fridge, microwave, and a place to do a load of laundry.
but my checkout is in the morning during hours id like to sleep and i sure dont want to continue to renew it especially with the shape my teeth are in needing fixed immediately due to pain, so im checking out, and checking into a casino with 2 vouchers ive earned for free nites. then on friday i can take a shuttle bus into denver and deposit money in the bank and go to the airport.
their omaha 8 5-100 spread limit game doesnt normally go at the ameristar on sundays, just fridays and saturdays but i won $1312 in that game on sunday and it was a good game. id be very wealthy if i could play it everyday. but i had other $500-800 wins in this town too.
up about $3000 at poker in 6 days. unlike what i thought when i first got here, ive won so much at poker, ive played very little blackjack. i didnt find the $3 shoes, but i did find some $5 shoes which are $10 and up on the weekends. i won a few hundred at them but not much.
being lazy, i waited until tonight to do my laundry at the last possible minute, and it will be finishing up soon. at first when playing poker with cdizzy i thought the games were looser at the isle due to the guy who blew $1200 that night but after a couple of daytime losses there i now think the ameristar offers looser games and so did the gates have an easy game to win in while the tourney was going on.
the 2 teeth numbered 12 and 13 mainly bother me when im drinking coffee or trying to eat. so im trying to be really careful til i get to a dentist the only IV sedation emergency dentist i know who ive never met and doesnt read my blog, only found his ad thru the internet is in colorado springs and not denver. but i dont know anyone in colorado springs able to accompany me to the office.
Tuesday, May 15, 2018
about to leave town for denver
well lets talk about all the bad luck ive had since going to reno. some of the bad luck was my own fault, (playing some VP machines which werent close to 100%, and playing in some BJ games where either the cut card wasnt deep enough to beat the game, or too high of bets, or bets made on the first hand of a new shoe). (so i could then either raise or lower the bet on the next hand, depending on the count). Only $11,700 left and i came here with about $15,400 or more i think if i remember right.
I think the problem is i still make a lot of bad decisions. but of course so do all the other players at my table, but my bad decisions are different kind of decisions. most of these guys look like they sure dont mind losing the money and i really dont see how they get all their money to lose (and to tip). the vast majority of the people in america dont have this kind of money. so why are most of the other players different than most americans? the ones i see on the flamingo city bus in vegas and the boulder highway city bus and the maryland parkway city bus, the 3 most popular residential buses in las vegas sure dont have any money. u cant walk down any street without seeing tons of homeless and broke people. (alot of it has to do with alcohol and drugs which is why i have no tolerance for that stuff, not to say those type of people try to bully and pick fights with u which of course pisses me off more). but it also has to do with stupidity of landlords who think a guy with proof of a job whose bank account is close to zero all the time, is a safer tenant than a guy who never has less than $5000 or more in his checking account. im sick of not being able to rent apartments and id try harder to find a private owner if i stuck to one city to live.
a large percentage of the population has never worked a job paying more than minimum wage, and ive never worked one paying more than $4.35 per hour. a large percentage are dependent on either food stamps, welfare, disability or social security. and as Mitt Romney made famous in 2012, almost half never paid any income tax.
so im flabbergasted when i see most of the people on my poker tables buying in so deep and playing so loose. like the girl last night who beat me 3 times in the GSR once with the 5-10 of diamonds she raised to $15 with preflop when i had JJ. it was a good game and a guy in there who knew me from years ago suggested i shouldnt leave but i was tired and had to check out of the sparks nugget at 11am.
it makes u feel like the only reason they play this way against me, knowing im going to be in there with a solid hand is because they hate me personally, so it does cause me to feel lots of bitterness and resentment towards those types of players, same as it does while at the BJ table against all the stupid people, well over 90% bet the side bet every hand.
the casino wouldnt offer such low payouts if gamblers were smart enough to insist on better payouts, no 6-5 games would exist, only 3-2. if people wouldnt play poor slots and only games with 100% or better payouts, all slots would pay out this much. they do it because they can and people are stupid.
i think colorado will be better for me since i cant overbet on BJ there with the $100 maximum, my only real worry is where will i stay and ive heard theres no way to do laundry there, so ill only be there a short time before i live at Rays house again.
i did have one small win at the Peppermill yesterday and i wouldve won more had i not made a deal during the drawing to split wins, so when i got called, i won only $50 instead of $100.
i think i need to throw out most of my clothes in my suitcase and spend up my $200 in comps, just like vegas, i doubt ill be back in reno anytime soon, so if i load the suitcase up with clothes from the gift shop and throw out all the others, i wont need to do laundry while in Blackhawk, and at least i found out Cripple creek has a laundrymat. maybe i should just take a bus into colorado springs from the denver airport wed nite instead of the Uber to blackhawk. or a motel where i could do laundry. maybe i shouldve done it today.
if i only had a car, i could live in it stress free and hang out at small tiny casinos in northern WI and MN with $2 and $3 BJ shoes and get enough practice in betting small to start beating the game. i could start betting more with the count and quit camouflaging it as martingaling and if i got banned since it would then be obvious with a car i could move on to the next place.
i wonder how much the price of my ticket to denver wouldve been had i not bought it 4 days ahead of schedule?
I think the problem is i still make a lot of bad decisions. but of course so do all the other players at my table, but my bad decisions are different kind of decisions. most of these guys look like they sure dont mind losing the money and i really dont see how they get all their money to lose (and to tip). the vast majority of the people in america dont have this kind of money. so why are most of the other players different than most americans? the ones i see on the flamingo city bus in vegas and the boulder highway city bus and the maryland parkway city bus, the 3 most popular residential buses in las vegas sure dont have any money. u cant walk down any street without seeing tons of homeless and broke people. (alot of it has to do with alcohol and drugs which is why i have no tolerance for that stuff, not to say those type of people try to bully and pick fights with u which of course pisses me off more). but it also has to do with stupidity of landlords who think a guy with proof of a job whose bank account is close to zero all the time, is a safer tenant than a guy who never has less than $5000 or more in his checking account. im sick of not being able to rent apartments and id try harder to find a private owner if i stuck to one city to live.
a large percentage of the population has never worked a job paying more than minimum wage, and ive never worked one paying more than $4.35 per hour. a large percentage are dependent on either food stamps, welfare, disability or social security. and as Mitt Romney made famous in 2012, almost half never paid any income tax.
so im flabbergasted when i see most of the people on my poker tables buying in so deep and playing so loose. like the girl last night who beat me 3 times in the GSR once with the 5-10 of diamonds she raised to $15 with preflop when i had JJ. it was a good game and a guy in there who knew me from years ago suggested i shouldnt leave but i was tired and had to check out of the sparks nugget at 11am.
it makes u feel like the only reason they play this way against me, knowing im going to be in there with a solid hand is because they hate me personally, so it does cause me to feel lots of bitterness and resentment towards those types of players, same as it does while at the BJ table against all the stupid people, well over 90% bet the side bet every hand.
the casino wouldnt offer such low payouts if gamblers were smart enough to insist on better payouts, no 6-5 games would exist, only 3-2. if people wouldnt play poor slots and only games with 100% or better payouts, all slots would pay out this much. they do it because they can and people are stupid.
i think colorado will be better for me since i cant overbet on BJ there with the $100 maximum, my only real worry is where will i stay and ive heard theres no way to do laundry there, so ill only be there a short time before i live at Rays house again.
i did have one small win at the Peppermill yesterday and i wouldve won more had i not made a deal during the drawing to split wins, so when i got called, i won only $50 instead of $100.
i think i need to throw out most of my clothes in my suitcase and spend up my $200 in comps, just like vegas, i doubt ill be back in reno anytime soon, so if i load the suitcase up with clothes from the gift shop and throw out all the others, i wont need to do laundry while in Blackhawk, and at least i found out Cripple creek has a laundrymat. maybe i should just take a bus into colorado springs from the denver airport wed nite instead of the Uber to blackhawk. or a motel where i could do laundry. maybe i shouldve done it today.
if i only had a car, i could live in it stress free and hang out at small tiny casinos in northern WI and MN with $2 and $3 BJ shoes and get enough practice in betting small to start beating the game. i could start betting more with the count and quit camouflaging it as martingaling and if i got banned since it would then be obvious with a car i could move on to the next place.
i wonder how much the price of my ticket to denver wouldve been had i not bought it 4 days ahead of schedule?
Saturday, May 12, 2018
going to reno wasnt such a good idea.
the blackjack games here in reno suck. almost all of them are single or double deck where the dealers shuffle whenever they feel like it which could be whenever u raise the bet up. so to avoid this i always prefer to play with a shoe.
now in places like detroit or vegas, even shreveport, u can get the cut card 75-90 percent of the way down, making the game beatable if u dont get unlucky. but not here in reno id swear the cut card in the silver legacy is only 50-60% of the way down.
so i think im losing because its an unbeatable game. yes im playing correctly and never raising my bet from the $5 minimum til the true count hits plus 1 or better. but i still bet too high (never should bet over 1% as low as im getting on cash) and my highest bets in reno were like 3-4%.
so im down to only 11.500 which is much less than its been in years. the good news is ive got a ticket out of here to denver on frontier at 7.44pm wed nite for only $20 plus baggage fees and misc for $69 total. its the only way to get out of reno without paying a fortune in airfare.
eventually ill leave denver and fly to detroit, where it doesnt cost nearly as much as from reno. in the meantime ill check out a casino or two outside denver. but i wont spend too much time because my teeth are starting to really bother me and i shouldve had the dentist do all 3 but at the time only 1 was bothering me. ill have to wait til im at rays house to get this done.
i lost about 200 in the mixed game in the atlantis and im out over 300 total for playing poker in the peppermill. im still out quite a bit for the month of may in poker, and won only 2 out of 16 poker sessions, which i dont think ive ever did this bad before. and the games seem to have a lot more sharks in them than they used to.
to accumulate a bankroll at poker, u need dirt cheap expenses. and to accumulate a bankroll at blackjack u not only need to not run way below average, u need to have the cut card at least 75% of the way down, otherwise u cant make money in the long run. very few places deal this deep. i wonder how deep they deal in denver? ill find out wed nite. or thursday, maybe theres no shuttle running that late and i might need to get a hotel by the airport til thursday morning.
i would be out of hotel rooms in reno now, but i got 2 extra nites due to losing again, and maybe i can get another 2 nites at a different casino where i think i have another offer to cover me up til wednesday. and the cost of Uber is too high here since theres no pool.
now in places like detroit or vegas, even shreveport, u can get the cut card 75-90 percent of the way down, making the game beatable if u dont get unlucky. but not here in reno id swear the cut card in the silver legacy is only 50-60% of the way down.
so i think im losing because its an unbeatable game. yes im playing correctly and never raising my bet from the $5 minimum til the true count hits plus 1 or better. but i still bet too high (never should bet over 1% as low as im getting on cash) and my highest bets in reno were like 3-4%.
so im down to only 11.500 which is much less than its been in years. the good news is ive got a ticket out of here to denver on frontier at 7.44pm wed nite for only $20 plus baggage fees and misc for $69 total. its the only way to get out of reno without paying a fortune in airfare.
eventually ill leave denver and fly to detroit, where it doesnt cost nearly as much as from reno. in the meantime ill check out a casino or two outside denver. but i wont spend too much time because my teeth are starting to really bother me and i shouldve had the dentist do all 3 but at the time only 1 was bothering me. ill have to wait til im at rays house to get this done.
i lost about 200 in the mixed game in the atlantis and im out over 300 total for playing poker in the peppermill. im still out quite a bit for the month of may in poker, and won only 2 out of 16 poker sessions, which i dont think ive ever did this bad before. and the games seem to have a lot more sharks in them than they used to.
to accumulate a bankroll at poker, u need dirt cheap expenses. and to accumulate a bankroll at blackjack u not only need to not run way below average, u need to have the cut card at least 75% of the way down, otherwise u cant make money in the long run. very few places deal this deep. i wonder how deep they deal in denver? ill find out wed nite. or thursday, maybe theres no shuttle running that late and i might need to get a hotel by the airport til thursday morning.
i would be out of hotel rooms in reno now, but i got 2 extra nites due to losing again, and maybe i can get another 2 nites at a different casino where i think i have another offer to cover me up til wednesday. and the cost of Uber is too high here since theres no pool.
Tuesday, May 8, 2018
a lot of bad luck since leaving vegas and 12k left
my hotel being so far from the poker room in this city and this city being so much smaller than vegas theres only Uber and not Uber pool, i dont want to either pay $20 or take the bus which would feel unsafe at night and take forever. the per mile rate sure feels a lot higher here too.
and its very difficult to win here anymore. some of the women who used to work as dealers u now see playing in the game, and theyre not bad players. clearly theyre well off financially because u see them getting massages and talking about going to strip clubs. women always have had a way easier time than men at winning at poker. and im behind in poker for the month of May still, and since leaving vegas.
but the worst of it all has been video poker and BJ. ive lost well over $500 in video poker i shouldnt have even been playing, and today lost $2700 in Blackjack too. for the first time this year, im back down in the $12,000s again.
i felt i better play, or theyd wonder why i wasnt, since i got a 3 night comp in the hotel. i might not stay here too long, i might leave and go to Rays house to cut down on the expenses ill be incurring once i dont have any more hotel rooms. i dont think id have lost near this much on BJ had i not made a few bets of 3-5% of my roll when the count was heavily in my favor and had bad results, i know im never supposed to bet over 1-2%. for the very first shoe i was losing every hand and most of the losses all took place on that one shoe.
i just wanted to let everyone know the bad news and to also let them know i didnt lose my temper and get myself banned nowhere but i was certainly none too happy when i left the table and i think the staff in the buffet could tell though i didnt say anything rude.
i wish i knew how to force myself to only play poker, its hard to do it when i know id have an edge at BJ if i just wouldnt overbet or bet high before the count merits it. im allowed to play BJ a lot more places than im allowed to play poker, and this is a problem.
and its very difficult to win here anymore. some of the women who used to work as dealers u now see playing in the game, and theyre not bad players. clearly theyre well off financially because u see them getting massages and talking about going to strip clubs. women always have had a way easier time than men at winning at poker. and im behind in poker for the month of May still, and since leaving vegas.
but the worst of it all has been video poker and BJ. ive lost well over $500 in video poker i shouldnt have even been playing, and today lost $2700 in Blackjack too. for the first time this year, im back down in the $12,000s again.
i felt i better play, or theyd wonder why i wasnt, since i got a 3 night comp in the hotel. i might not stay here too long, i might leave and go to Rays house to cut down on the expenses ill be incurring once i dont have any more hotel rooms. i dont think id have lost near this much on BJ had i not made a few bets of 3-5% of my roll when the count was heavily in my favor and had bad results, i know im never supposed to bet over 1-2%. for the very first shoe i was losing every hand and most of the losses all took place on that one shoe.
i just wanted to let everyone know the bad news and to also let them know i didnt lose my temper and get myself banned nowhere but i was certainly none too happy when i left the table and i think the staff in the buffet could tell though i didnt say anything rude.
i wish i knew how to force myself to only play poker, its hard to do it when i know id have an edge at BJ if i just wouldnt overbet or bet high before the count merits it. im allowed to play BJ a lot more places than im allowed to play poker, and this is a problem.
Sunday, May 6, 2018
i flew out of vegas today
I changed the settings on my blog to keep my mother happy, so my son whose threatened suicide himself before, wouldnt accidently come across my blog and be upset ever again. he normally has never read it because my mother didnt want him to, and had it not been talked about by my mothers friends on facebook, he wouldnt have seen it. He is 26 and has a lot of emotional problems himself and is on medication. Ray, (Mark from the riviera) and others told me i probably did the right thing and theyre the people i should make sure the most are treated rightly. (my mother and son).
extremely good soothing music to make u a better person please listen to this for a while at least a few songs. most of u have never heard such good music. if i didnt have problems being able to hear sound with headphones (i never seem to get it to work) maybe i should listen to it while playing poker to be calm.
In better times when theyres not such fear of those who are different in America, especially those with emotional issues, Grump or Lightning or whoever would not have tried to get me thrown out of the hoover dam casino, (and by default the wynn and the nugget too which screws me out of my 2 favorite rooms in vegas) but they wouldve privately called me and asked me if i was ok especially if they were worried id be doing something i might regret in the next 2 hours. but whats done is done. this wasnt the type of thing others shouldve been reposting on 2+2 for their own personal enjoyment of my miseries. i dont think its only me who needs to think about the consequences of their actions and think twice about what they say over the internet. and i dont like the assumption someone might get violent whose never had one assualt on his record, never started a fist fight, never owned a gun and is scared to death of everyone. all the people who did bad things in this world mostly did it because they didnt believe in heaven, hell, or God. or they believed in the wrong God, Allah, instead of God the Father and his son, the Lord Jesus Christ.
i wouldnt say things like i said in that blog if i didnt have a prior history of saying things i shouldnt when angry (but i would think by now people wouldve learned i dont mean no harm). but i would like to be sure i never do so again, because the entire experience really spooked me. And the whole time i was on the plane today, i was worrying if this plane has an accident, will i go to Heaven and spend eternity with Jesus and see my Grandmother once more, or will i die and go to Hell? and be eternally tormented throughout eternity? will i miss out on a relationship with the one who loved me enough to send his son to the cross to die for my sins (and for the sins of all of u?) for my sins of being unkind, of fantasizing about hiring hookers, of letting such minor things offend me all the time which shouldnt, of being covetiousness, or not loving my neighbor, are just as big of sins in the eyes of God as drunkenness, homosexuality, adultry, abortion, and all the rest. God says he who hates his brother is a murderer. and we are all guilty, there is none righteous, no not one.
most who are a bit crazy never commit a violent act in their life and theyre the most misunderstood and discriminated against group i know of, which has made it hard for me to sympathesize with certain other groups many think are left out. Think of how much the Trooper hates those with mental issues. People tend to think the worst of them, the same way the casino security thinks the worst of those dressed in old clothes walking into the wynn.
if people would ask themselves before doing anything, "Would Jesus approve of what I am about to say or to do" the world wouldnt have all the problems it has today. no business would take advantage of its employees (not paying them enough and working them too hard), its customers (with high resort fees) no crimes would be committed, no one would be suffering unable to pay for doctor or dental care knowing if they spent the money on it, they might not have enough left over to work with for their shelter or other needs. because we would care for our fellow man if we truly loved them as ourselves. when Jesus was on this earth, he didnt tell the people who wanted help with whatever their problem was to go look to government for the solution. he healed them or took care of the problem himself.
and a question to chris abramski, if theyre's no God, who decides whats morally right or wrong? the state? Vladimir Putin? if u think this, look at how well that worked in Germany in 1933. not so well did it?
Now u know why Johnny Cash was the greatest musician who ever lived. i can certainly identify with his music and his opinions. sad thing is, most people under age 30 have no idea who he is and have never listened to any of his music, unless its only 1-2 songs.
In the last few days since my release from the county Jail, i slept in vinces house 2 nights, the golden gate casino 2 nights, and the first thing i did since i stepped off the plane here was get checked into my hotel. no poker or blackjack yet, not even ate any food and im starving. spent $15 in the airport Burger King, its high in there.
i picked up my high hand money at the poker palace for $241, gave Vince some of it. and then proceeded to lose $126 in BJ there and win a little over $500 in their NL game.
but in the stratosphere i lost that much in live poker and i lost in boulder station too with vince. i will say however, i sure did win a lot playing live BJ in the golden gate. i wonder if i could win overall and never go broke if i just made sure i dont ever overbet the roll. but i dont think i should try, i have a bad habit of eventually overbetting the roll. and at only $15,700 my roll is still very much at risk.
i have played BJ radically different lately and i think its improving my results. i wait til the true count hits +1 on a 6 or 8 deck shoe instead of an even count or a running count of +1 because u dont really get an edge then and its basically me gambling too much too soon trying to get unstuck if i dont wait til the true count gets the game over 100% to increase the bet. so im sitting there flat betting the minimum a lot more than i used to before i ever raise the bet.
i need to figure out how to send invites to this blog. and im too busy to do it right now so ill just hit publish, then leave my room for a while. most will not be able to see the new blog, but Josie and lightning will without needing an invite since theyre listed as moderators. i wish they wouldve been smart enough to use that power to immediately get rid of the blog once they seen what id published a couple weeks ago. before it did any damage and before the whole world couldve seen it. this is the type of thing a true friend would do.
im also never notified if lightning or josie makes a comment like i am for everyone else, so who knows how many comments ive missed seeing?
before i come back to vegas, im going to spend many months playing in a new poker room too small for me to be known by a soul at, and let the poker room manager see how i act in that room and me being on my best behavior, they will be an excellent testimony for me to get back into the nugget, the wynn, or anywhere else. i will never say anything that a single employee might intrepret as unkind. im too scared not to. that experience in vegas spooked the hell out of me. the golden gate employees have probably seen a change in me and hopefully it wasnt just due to me winning, i was stuck over $1200 once. and i certainly wont yell at people for calling me sir or asking for a setup, regardless of how dumb i might think it is. in fact, even my uber rating increased to 4.49 from 4.47 since i got out of jail. this must be the reason why. my number one priority is to never do or say anything which wouldve caused one more nail to be driven into his hands as he died on the cross for every sin ive ever committed, and for me theres been an awful lot of them.
extremely good soothing music to make u a better person please listen to this for a while at least a few songs. most of u have never heard such good music. if i didnt have problems being able to hear sound with headphones (i never seem to get it to work) maybe i should listen to it while playing poker to be calm.
In better times when theyres not such fear of those who are different in America, especially those with emotional issues, Grump or Lightning or whoever would not have tried to get me thrown out of the hoover dam casino, (and by default the wynn and the nugget too which screws me out of my 2 favorite rooms in vegas) but they wouldve privately called me and asked me if i was ok especially if they were worried id be doing something i might regret in the next 2 hours. but whats done is done. this wasnt the type of thing others shouldve been reposting on 2+2 for their own personal enjoyment of my miseries. i dont think its only me who needs to think about the consequences of their actions and think twice about what they say over the internet. and i dont like the assumption someone might get violent whose never had one assualt on his record, never started a fist fight, never owned a gun and is scared to death of everyone. all the people who did bad things in this world mostly did it because they didnt believe in heaven, hell, or God. or they believed in the wrong God, Allah, instead of God the Father and his son, the Lord Jesus Christ.
i wouldnt say things like i said in that blog if i didnt have a prior history of saying things i shouldnt when angry (but i would think by now people wouldve learned i dont mean no harm). but i would like to be sure i never do so again, because the entire experience really spooked me. And the whole time i was on the plane today, i was worrying if this plane has an accident, will i go to Heaven and spend eternity with Jesus and see my Grandmother once more, or will i die and go to Hell? and be eternally tormented throughout eternity? will i miss out on a relationship with the one who loved me enough to send his son to the cross to die for my sins (and for the sins of all of u?) for my sins of being unkind, of fantasizing about hiring hookers, of letting such minor things offend me all the time which shouldnt, of being covetiousness, or not loving my neighbor, are just as big of sins in the eyes of God as drunkenness, homosexuality, adultry, abortion, and all the rest. God says he who hates his brother is a murderer. and we are all guilty, there is none righteous, no not one.
most who are a bit crazy never commit a violent act in their life and theyre the most misunderstood and discriminated against group i know of, which has made it hard for me to sympathesize with certain other groups many think are left out. Think of how much the Trooper hates those with mental issues. People tend to think the worst of them, the same way the casino security thinks the worst of those dressed in old clothes walking into the wynn.
if people would ask themselves before doing anything, "Would Jesus approve of what I am about to say or to do" the world wouldnt have all the problems it has today. no business would take advantage of its employees (not paying them enough and working them too hard), its customers (with high resort fees) no crimes would be committed, no one would be suffering unable to pay for doctor or dental care knowing if they spent the money on it, they might not have enough left over to work with for their shelter or other needs. because we would care for our fellow man if we truly loved them as ourselves. when Jesus was on this earth, he didnt tell the people who wanted help with whatever their problem was to go look to government for the solution. he healed them or took care of the problem himself.
and a question to chris abramski, if theyre's no God, who decides whats morally right or wrong? the state? Vladimir Putin? if u think this, look at how well that worked in Germany in 1933. not so well did it?
Now u know why Johnny Cash was the greatest musician who ever lived. i can certainly identify with his music and his opinions. sad thing is, most people under age 30 have no idea who he is and have never listened to any of his music, unless its only 1-2 songs.
In the last few days since my release from the county Jail, i slept in vinces house 2 nights, the golden gate casino 2 nights, and the first thing i did since i stepped off the plane here was get checked into my hotel. no poker or blackjack yet, not even ate any food and im starving. spent $15 in the airport Burger King, its high in there.
i picked up my high hand money at the poker palace for $241, gave Vince some of it. and then proceeded to lose $126 in BJ there and win a little over $500 in their NL game.
but in the stratosphere i lost that much in live poker and i lost in boulder station too with vince. i will say however, i sure did win a lot playing live BJ in the golden gate. i wonder if i could win overall and never go broke if i just made sure i dont ever overbet the roll. but i dont think i should try, i have a bad habit of eventually overbetting the roll. and at only $15,700 my roll is still very much at risk.
i have played BJ radically different lately and i think its improving my results. i wait til the true count hits +1 on a 6 or 8 deck shoe instead of an even count or a running count of +1 because u dont really get an edge then and its basically me gambling too much too soon trying to get unstuck if i dont wait til the true count gets the game over 100% to increase the bet. so im sitting there flat betting the minimum a lot more than i used to before i ever raise the bet.
i need to figure out how to send invites to this blog. and im too busy to do it right now so ill just hit publish, then leave my room for a while. most will not be able to see the new blog, but Josie and lightning will without needing an invite since theyre listed as moderators. i wish they wouldve been smart enough to use that power to immediately get rid of the blog once they seen what id published a couple weeks ago. before it did any damage and before the whole world couldve seen it. this is the type of thing a true friend would do.
im also never notified if lightning or josie makes a comment like i am for everyone else, so who knows how many comments ive missed seeing?
before i come back to vegas, im going to spend many months playing in a new poker room too small for me to be known by a soul at, and let the poker room manager see how i act in that room and me being on my best behavior, they will be an excellent testimony for me to get back into the nugget, the wynn, or anywhere else. i will never say anything that a single employee might intrepret as unkind. im too scared not to. that experience in vegas spooked the hell out of me. the golden gate employees have probably seen a change in me and hopefully it wasnt just due to me winning, i was stuck over $1200 once. and i certainly wont yell at people for calling me sir or asking for a setup, regardless of how dumb i might think it is. in fact, even my uber rating increased to 4.49 from 4.47 since i got out of jail. this must be the reason why. my number one priority is to never do or say anything which wouldve caused one more nail to be driven into his hands as he died on the cross for every sin ive ever committed, and for me theres been an awful lot of them.
Thursday, May 3, 2018
the truth about what happened to me after making that post which i shouldnt have made
I'm sorry i couldnt update you guys more quickly upon being released from jail (the prosecutors office decided to drop all charges and not file a complaint)-the only complaint under which i was originally held was the police report from the officers who came out to hoover dam lodge. while i was in the guys car he was talking to his partner about how he thought the prosecuting attorney would reduce it from a felony to a misdemeanor but he was saying he was making sure he put it up as a felony so i got charged with "at least something". i worried about this for a long time but they ended up dropping the charges altogether, as the lawyer vince got to come talk with me figured they would
no he never officially became my lawyer (he estimated the cost would be $5000) and neither me nor Vince wanted to spend the money. he was a friend of Vinces and Vince was worried about me so he got him to come find out what was going on and interview me in the lawyers private contact visiting room at no expense for the initial consultation. the lawyer, just like Vince felt the charge was BS.
it took me a long time after getting released to type up this blog because there was so much to read, remember its been days since i seen emails, twitter, facebook, etc and this is probably the most messages and comments ive ever received in my life. i was a little shocked lightning wasnt approving the blog comments for me instead of letting them sit (or Josie) and even more so to find the post still up after finally being able to get a phone call thru to lightning asking for the immediate deletion of the blog post. why? well not only was i upset over the publicity this post was getting (which i wouldve probably deleted parts of it and backtracked quickly explaining myself had i not been locked up so soon after making the post) before i had time. i wouldve done this at the airport but i got picked up even before id had time to leave hoover dam. not having any idea security was already talking with the police by phone, i was still sitting there playing VBJ. and i actually recovered $500 of the earlier loss before i got arrested.
and i wasnt surprised to find out Grump was the one who reported me. no one knows this but the detectives i talked to and my lawyer, but i was telling both of them how i knew it was grump, long before i ever knew Grumps blog post existed, which i didnt find out about til i came home. nor did i know of the 2+2 posts, the wizard of vegas post, the poker fraud alert post, etc. in fact it took hours to read all of these, which i was going to do before i knew what to type here. i must say i was quite pleased to find out ive got a good friend in cdizzy and even MIB, the last person i wouldve expected to understand why grump shouldnt have done this. he couldve gotten me shot, killed, or all my money confiscated by the police which didnt happen, but couldve. but when releasing me its now on a debit card instead of cash so i need to use an atm and pay fees to get it. and the whole time i was in the jail i worried id be killed by the other inmates because i thought someone would show them the blog (or that the judge would read from it in court to the other inmates near me). im sorry to say i didnt recognize ak gal and was surprised when i learned she attended. i did think one of the other guys in the courtroom mightve been familiar but couldnt place who. but i do remember seeing her now but i didnt recognize her and never wouldve had it not been on grumps blog. or was it twitter?
when im with Ray i still get mad but it keeps me from writing posts i shouldnt. why? because on the long drive back to Toledo the anger dissipates during the drive while we both rant in the car. the detective thought i should think before i hit publish though he thought i was of no threat and in his words "not the guy he wouldve expected from reading the blog". this is why he said he would recommend they dismiss the case. i did worry when it wasnt done on tuesday and the judge said the only way id get out is if the prosecution hadnt filed charges by next monday. at first when arrested i was only being told the detectives downtown wanted to talk with me about the post, but wouldnt be in til monday.
they first asked me about 30 minutes straight if i was thinking of killing myself and i kept insisting i wasnt and was just very frustrated and mad with myself for not leaving when up not much from $2500 before i then lost the $3500 back. then finally the one guy told his partner "we arent going the medical route on this one". then his partner mostly wasnt near him and it was me and him and after sitting in the car for hours i eventually arrived downtown. and the first holding cell u sit in for 1-2 days before being assigned a cot upstairs really sucks. at least upstairs u can play other guys chess, read from the book cart, etc. and contrary to everyone says i dont think the food was that bad.
so its clear the govt doesnt care about peoples mental health issues, they only care about saving money. years ago they decided no one gets mental health treatment unless theyre suicidal and if theyre not suicidal they need jail instead of treatment.
the govt in the 1980s released a lot of people to the streets because they werent suicidal so they in their opinion didnt need treatment because the state didnt want to pay for it.
my mother often has cared about the mentally ill. in fact my Aunt Patty spent up to a year in a mental institution and was retarded, im not sure how many of u previously knew this piece of family history. But one thing im sure nobody knows is that my mother long before i was born (when she was in her early 20s) took her out of the mental institution in Larned KS to care for her in her home for about a year which really showed compassion in my opinion. kind of the way i feel about Ray welcoming me to stay with him, or cdizzy wanting me to be able to continue to play poker but with less stress and to get out of jail.
not only could poker grump have gotten me shot or killed or robbed by the police of my lifes savings, the main reason it was wrong was he had no idea if someone else hacked my blog and facebook and posted this to "make me look bad or for that persons entertainment" and neither did the police had i not admitted to being the author of the posts. but imagine how Grump wouldve felt had it not been me who made the posts. remember hamsterdam and how he tried to make sure i would never be allowed to ever get SSI and how he succeeded in frightnening off SSI judges? plus me and lightning suspected him then of reporting me in Jean and not Claudia. or he talked claudia into it. lightning said he told him privately "we should call the FBI". this was years ago.
Grump, who has my phone number and i his (the last 3 digits are all the same), made no attempt to phone me to make sure this wasnt the case.
also when i came by the nugget to get a hotel room and play some poker before i caught an early morning flight out of town, i found out im banned in the nugget and my $650 in comps the casino confiscated. i really dont know the circumstances and i think Grump probably arranged this too. i wonder where else he did this i dont know about yet? blocking me from playing poker, leaving only BJ left for me to play, certainly isnt going to help. what will help is me playing poker in a place the staff dont know me never met me before and being on such good behaviour there with Gods help they would never know its the same person who made that post. and that post will be deleted shortly.
yes the first person and probably the person i wronged the most was the Lord God almighty. so he was the first person i asked forgiveness from when i was in the jailhouse. i know he has forgiven me though many of u never will.
lessons ive learned is to keep my mouth shut online about my feelings and to think before i post something. if more people understood the pain of mental illness, of having to go thru life without a good woman by your side (its not really about the money as much as i say it is the money is only important because of my high costs of living and i dont wish to be on the street). mainly what i wish i had was a good woman taking care of me, like so many of the lucky guys have who dont need to come up with money every day to live. i wish i wasnt so dependent on others unable to drive. i wish i had a way to see doctors or dentists without worrying about the costs. i wish i wasnt stressed out over getting proof of citizenship. all this bothers me much more than losing $3500 (and when it was said and done i only lost a bit over $600) considering i was ahead, then recovered a bit hanging around in the casino instead of leaving town immedaitely after making the post which i shouldve. i only react to the money like i do because i see money the equivalent of food, water, blood and oxygen, all needed to survive, no one more or less so than others. i feel Ray is my best friend because i feel he understands and ive felt Cdizzy does too for quite some time, because she is slow to get offended.
i was worried so much because i was not placed in PC in the jail but surprisingly except for a mexican guy calling me girl and making funny hand motions no issues in the jail. naturally in that type of enviroment id be too terrified with worry to ever say anything racist and explicity state opinions i dont really have to fit in. I'm disappointed lightning didnt immediately delete the blog once he found out i was in jail for my own personal safety, especially since i asked him to. of course an inmate not knowing of the blog would probably check facebook, which links to the blog, so id wanted that deleted too, but he wouldnt know how to do that without the facebook password.
i got to make a 30 second call to every number one time free then it explains to them how to set up to receive calls to their cell if an inmate has no money. but today i was planning to put $40 of the money i had on my books at the time of arrest into my phone account (didnt know how earlier). this was i could call them at 21c a minute on my dime and the recording for them to accept would then tell them the call would be free. which is a lot more fair to the person taking the innmates call for the inmate to cover the burden instead of being the burden. of course i was lucky to come into jail with over $5000 on me. (remember it was once close to $8000). i never shouldve been carrying this much cash and im lucky the cops didnt seize it. and im lucky they didnt announce out loud how much it was in front of other inmates when they handed me the debit card. i cant lose it or ill be out over $5000. i need to use an atm immediately til its all withdrawn regardless of the fees. theres also a $2.50 charge per week, so it needs withdrawn fast.
and i thought id be ordering comissary friday. to be delivered saturday. they originally had me in the south tower downtown but moved to the jail way way up in NLV past the speedway by nellis and craig.
no he never officially became my lawyer (he estimated the cost would be $5000) and neither me nor Vince wanted to spend the money. he was a friend of Vinces and Vince was worried about me so he got him to come find out what was going on and interview me in the lawyers private contact visiting room at no expense for the initial consultation. the lawyer, just like Vince felt the charge was BS.
it took me a long time after getting released to type up this blog because there was so much to read, remember its been days since i seen emails, twitter, facebook, etc and this is probably the most messages and comments ive ever received in my life. i was a little shocked lightning wasnt approving the blog comments for me instead of letting them sit (or Josie) and even more so to find the post still up after finally being able to get a phone call thru to lightning asking for the immediate deletion of the blog post. why? well not only was i upset over the publicity this post was getting (which i wouldve probably deleted parts of it and backtracked quickly explaining myself had i not been locked up so soon after making the post) before i had time. i wouldve done this at the airport but i got picked up even before id had time to leave hoover dam. not having any idea security was already talking with the police by phone, i was still sitting there playing VBJ. and i actually recovered $500 of the earlier loss before i got arrested.
and i wasnt surprised to find out Grump was the one who reported me. no one knows this but the detectives i talked to and my lawyer, but i was telling both of them how i knew it was grump, long before i ever knew Grumps blog post existed, which i didnt find out about til i came home. nor did i know of the 2+2 posts, the wizard of vegas post, the poker fraud alert post, etc. in fact it took hours to read all of these, which i was going to do before i knew what to type here. i must say i was quite pleased to find out ive got a good friend in cdizzy and even MIB, the last person i wouldve expected to understand why grump shouldnt have done this. he couldve gotten me shot, killed, or all my money confiscated by the police which didnt happen, but couldve. but when releasing me its now on a debit card instead of cash so i need to use an atm and pay fees to get it. and the whole time i was in the jail i worried id be killed by the other inmates because i thought someone would show them the blog (or that the judge would read from it in court to the other inmates near me). im sorry to say i didnt recognize ak gal and was surprised when i learned she attended. i did think one of the other guys in the courtroom mightve been familiar but couldnt place who. but i do remember seeing her now but i didnt recognize her and never wouldve had it not been on grumps blog. or was it twitter?
when im with Ray i still get mad but it keeps me from writing posts i shouldnt. why? because on the long drive back to Toledo the anger dissipates during the drive while we both rant in the car. the detective thought i should think before i hit publish though he thought i was of no threat and in his words "not the guy he wouldve expected from reading the blog". this is why he said he would recommend they dismiss the case. i did worry when it wasnt done on tuesday and the judge said the only way id get out is if the prosecution hadnt filed charges by next monday. at first when arrested i was only being told the detectives downtown wanted to talk with me about the post, but wouldnt be in til monday.
they first asked me about 30 minutes straight if i was thinking of killing myself and i kept insisting i wasnt and was just very frustrated and mad with myself for not leaving when up not much from $2500 before i then lost the $3500 back. then finally the one guy told his partner "we arent going the medical route on this one". then his partner mostly wasnt near him and it was me and him and after sitting in the car for hours i eventually arrived downtown. and the first holding cell u sit in for 1-2 days before being assigned a cot upstairs really sucks. at least upstairs u can play other guys chess, read from the book cart, etc. and contrary to everyone says i dont think the food was that bad.
so its clear the govt doesnt care about peoples mental health issues, they only care about saving money. years ago they decided no one gets mental health treatment unless theyre suicidal and if theyre not suicidal they need jail instead of treatment.
the govt in the 1980s released a lot of people to the streets because they werent suicidal so they in their opinion didnt need treatment because the state didnt want to pay for it.
my mother often has cared about the mentally ill. in fact my Aunt Patty spent up to a year in a mental institution and was retarded, im not sure how many of u previously knew this piece of family history. But one thing im sure nobody knows is that my mother long before i was born (when she was in her early 20s) took her out of the mental institution in Larned KS to care for her in her home for about a year which really showed compassion in my opinion. kind of the way i feel about Ray welcoming me to stay with him, or cdizzy wanting me to be able to continue to play poker but with less stress and to get out of jail.
not only could poker grump have gotten me shot or killed or robbed by the police of my lifes savings, the main reason it was wrong was he had no idea if someone else hacked my blog and facebook and posted this to "make me look bad or for that persons entertainment" and neither did the police had i not admitted to being the author of the posts. but imagine how Grump wouldve felt had it not been me who made the posts. remember hamsterdam and how he tried to make sure i would never be allowed to ever get SSI and how he succeeded in frightnening off SSI judges? plus me and lightning suspected him then of reporting me in Jean and not Claudia. or he talked claudia into it. lightning said he told him privately "we should call the FBI". this was years ago.
Grump, who has my phone number and i his (the last 3 digits are all the same), made no attempt to phone me to make sure this wasnt the case.
also when i came by the nugget to get a hotel room and play some poker before i caught an early morning flight out of town, i found out im banned in the nugget and my $650 in comps the casino confiscated. i really dont know the circumstances and i think Grump probably arranged this too. i wonder where else he did this i dont know about yet? blocking me from playing poker, leaving only BJ left for me to play, certainly isnt going to help. what will help is me playing poker in a place the staff dont know me never met me before and being on such good behaviour there with Gods help they would never know its the same person who made that post. and that post will be deleted shortly.
yes the first person and probably the person i wronged the most was the Lord God almighty. so he was the first person i asked forgiveness from when i was in the jailhouse. i know he has forgiven me though many of u never will.
lessons ive learned is to keep my mouth shut online about my feelings and to think before i post something. if more people understood the pain of mental illness, of having to go thru life without a good woman by your side (its not really about the money as much as i say it is the money is only important because of my high costs of living and i dont wish to be on the street). mainly what i wish i had was a good woman taking care of me, like so many of the lucky guys have who dont need to come up with money every day to live. i wish i wasnt so dependent on others unable to drive. i wish i had a way to see doctors or dentists without worrying about the costs. i wish i wasnt stressed out over getting proof of citizenship. all this bothers me much more than losing $3500 (and when it was said and done i only lost a bit over $600) considering i was ahead, then recovered a bit hanging around in the casino instead of leaving town immedaitely after making the post which i shouldve. i only react to the money like i do because i see money the equivalent of food, water, blood and oxygen, all needed to survive, no one more or less so than others. i feel Ray is my best friend because i feel he understands and ive felt Cdizzy does too for quite some time, because she is slow to get offended.
i was worried so much because i was not placed in PC in the jail but surprisingly except for a mexican guy calling me girl and making funny hand motions no issues in the jail. naturally in that type of enviroment id be too terrified with worry to ever say anything racist and explicity state opinions i dont really have to fit in. I'm disappointed lightning didnt immediately delete the blog once he found out i was in jail for my own personal safety, especially since i asked him to. of course an inmate not knowing of the blog would probably check facebook, which links to the blog, so id wanted that deleted too, but he wouldnt know how to do that without the facebook password.
i got to make a 30 second call to every number one time free then it explains to them how to set up to receive calls to their cell if an inmate has no money. but today i was planning to put $40 of the money i had on my books at the time of arrest into my phone account (didnt know how earlier). this was i could call them at 21c a minute on my dime and the recording for them to accept would then tell them the call would be free. which is a lot more fair to the person taking the innmates call for the inmate to cover the burden instead of being the burden. of course i was lucky to come into jail with over $5000 on me. (remember it was once close to $8000). i never shouldve been carrying this much cash and im lucky the cops didnt seize it. and im lucky they didnt announce out loud how much it was in front of other inmates when they handed me the debit card. i cant lose it or ill be out over $5000. i need to use an atm immediately til its all withdrawn regardless of the fees. theres also a $2.50 charge per week, so it needs withdrawn fast.
and i thought id be ordering comissary friday. to be delivered saturday. they originally had me in the south tower downtown but moved to the jail way way up in NLV past the speedway by nellis and craig.
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