Saturday, November 29, 2014

I've learned a few things




Well i just left my hotel across the street from the Bicycle (with the excellent wifi) that i stayed in the last 2 nights for $192 total, and that was quite a bit, considering i first checked in about 3.30am thurs nite/fri morning with the first checkout being 11am-12 noon. yeah i couldnt get them to let me in early and i was dead tired, having just got off the tour bus from pechanga where id been dead tired after playing $3-6 5 card Big O all day long. so i kind of only got 1 nite for that price. That being said, im not used to staying in nicer hotels, and having done so, and seeing how much better quality everything was, im not surprised rich folks do this all the time instead of staying at motel 6, where the wifi pretty much works shitty everywhere if it works at all. they all offer it but it sure sucks there.

Just got checked into my room at Commerce casino though, for only $85 plus tax for $102 by using pricelines express deals 55% off. had i went by the desk and paid, it wouldve been $134 plus tax, she said their rates are going up soon. thats not 55% but priceline advertises express deals as up to 55% off. still its far better than the rate u will get by asking the floorman and telling him u have been playing so id suggest those of u unfamiliar with how it works start using priceline.

u have to use the option where it wont show u the hotel name til after u book it. but of course, having it listed as a casino hotel--u know which one it is anyway.

and the good thing is, this hotel the wifi works good too.

Some of the other things ive learned are how great a service Uber is and how fast. its too bad i cant use that in vegas, for id move into vinces house (and feel like im part of a real family) and save a lot of money. for the 2nd time since using Uber i had a female driver today pick me up. Unless of course u count the 2nd time i rode with the female Uber driver named Cassandra in the pechanga area. im sure one of u will ride with her sometime if u use uber in that area, shes always out and about. Very pretty woman without a boyfriend. and claims she is a student and Uber is her only income. I was hoping she advertised other things on craigslist too.

Im a little surprised Uber seems to have more women drivers than black drivers. ive also learned that living as close as possible to a casino is a major concern to my emotional well being and stress level. if i cant easily go and come it wont work out well.

and ive got some good news i found out shortly before leaving vegas that i never mentioned to anyone but Lightning. the wynn said i spent enough time there to get a safety deposit box in the poker room, and that they had a vacancy. so i think ill take one to help diversify my portfolio. that will give me more peace of mind. The wynn is one of the best rooms in vegas as long as u dont mind playing nothing but NL.

I've learned also, that i made a big mistake leaving vegas when i did. im wasting a lot of money in cali on hotels, thats for sure. And i feel like it wasnt right to disappear on Koala, since i might not see him again. he was worried his health might not allow him to return to vegas, and in spite of the horrible things he posted in my blog and RTP, i still consider him a good friend, willing to hang out. I was really grateful for his willingness to go to cali, even though i wish id not made the trip. i shouldnt be looking for VBJ--i should be sticking to poker. i might not have made any money in cali, but i didnt lose any either at poker. it all went on expenses. had i NOT went to cali, i might still be way down, for i couldve lost $2000 at VBJ maybe. so i feel really sorry i didnt make it over to the Orleans and wish i had and i apologize.

And also to Alysia, she made a good effort to include me in her life and be a real friend and to try to understand, and i shouldnt be so paranoid due to prior misconceptions she had. I would like lightning to get on here and tell the story of how i was worried the same thing about him picking me up in Joliet, to better help her understand. this was before i knew him nearly as well as i do now. Maybe Josie could also tell the story of how i was afraid to go to Claudias house for the first time, if she still reads the blog. im sure that will help alysia understand im that way with everyone and it's nothing to do with me worrying about HER specifically. remember when JJsomething or other on AVP got so mad when i suggested if he rents out his house me might "kill me in my sleep?"

i've been paranoid my whole life, and its why im alive today, i never got close enough to anyone to trust them so they could do me harm. when i feel in danger i flee, notice how fast ive left Pechanga a couple times.

I really think ALysia has tried to be helpful in fixing the tooth, and im no longer worried about riding in her car. she never asked me to get in it anyway, and she did help to see about getting a dentist in LA, that id be paying for, but i only want the ones that use the wand injection method, that dont allow many to pick from.

i feel strange vibes in there and it feels like the holes are opening wide between the tooth and the gums, and fear several might need out, so its best i do this very soon upon my return into vegas. maybe vince or lightning will go with me, i should be there before lightning arrives dec 4.

before i went to bed last night i hit the BBJ players share for $724, so that puts my roll back to the $16,000s from being at only $15,040 at the start of the day. won about half from it and the other half from mexican poker where i played the NL. the $1 ante game, $100 min buyin, not the $200 min buyin $5 ante game which i think is way too steep. should be $2. i wonder if Rob has ever played that game?

im unhappy to report that the reason ive been all over cali instead of staying near the commerce is because i got banned there for a week, which is now up. it was due to a dispute in the game i was in a week ago wednesday. i was totally in the right, but i went about it the wrong way. but since i was in the right, i was told i was only being banned a week. the other person, what they were doing was wrong by planning to steal my money and leave without paying me, but i freaked out over it and made a scene. i dont really want to give too many details. Had they not stated to the whole table they were leaving and not paying and it showed that on film, theyd not have been so understanding.

so i had to make sure my bans lifted before i returned. this is why i took today at the commerce for 1 nite only before i go back to vegas. the one lady working wanted to make it longer but her security supervisor overruled her saying he made the decision and the other party instigated it, which caused me to overreact.

not having a car to store my suitcase has been a major concern. to store it easier and be allowed to store it, it needs to be far smaller, but then it wont hold enough clothes, and no one else deals with this because they either own a car, or live locally, or dont plan to vacation more than 1-2 days. but im tired of having to rent a room immediately when id rather just play cards all day and wait til i leave to see about renting a room or leaving town. paying a few hundred more a month to haul around a suitcase is dumb but its either that or have no belongings at all.

since the amtrak bus to vegas is $55 instead of $25-35, maybe its the emptiest bus. never did find an empty one. or find out if i can pay for 2 seats at $25 each to avoid sitting by someone on a normal bus. and also i found out its ONLY the hi limit tables at the bike offering both free food, and wifi charging stations under the seats. the main casino dont offer it.

Monday, November 24, 2014

I just left Ventura

Im in the starbucks outside the Oxnard amtrak station about 3 blocks away, and i booked a train leaving at 7.50pm towards los angeles, but im actually going further than that. so i paid more than just the price of the fare into los angeles.

ill be staying on the same train, no need to transfer, and ill be arriving at my final destination about midnite. I also booked a mon nite and tues nite stay (guess i have multiple rooms paid up tonight) since i checked out of my other room here. the 2 nites total will be $123.

Roll is down to about $15,400. after losing a lot more than i shouldve today at the casino in Ventura, i went back and lost about $25 more in the small $50-100 buyin $1-2 NL and of course my Uber fares (taken 3 trips now) and all the other money im wasting.

im disappointed that the low limit buyin PLO mix dont run more than 1 day a week in Ventura. todays game (which im told almost NEVER goes on mondays) was 5-10 PLO mix with most people straddling $25, so it was BIG. min buy was $600 and i left after losing $600. and earlier i was stuck $442 in the smaller NL holdem game. the whole day was bad. now the night before i won about $300 in the game.

over the longterm, Ventura would be a good option if there were housing available. the rake is next to nothing, the games are loose, and no jackpot drops. the money u save in rake would easily cover the high cost of a place to live. but i think i should have at least $20k in the roll. and if i play the game i played today that i certainly shouldnt have, at least $100k.

dont get me wrong, i didnt play poorly in it, and i got the money in with good positive equity. (hands i put in like 25% of the money, with an expected value of 33% plus.) and hands where i hit the flop strongly and petered out, like nut flush draws combined with nut low draws. and one hand i mightve been bluffed.

just goes to show--stick with playing the game u are most comfortable in. and i wonder if ill be able to sleep on the train. sure wasnt gonna use Uber all the way, its like $160. the shorter Uber trip from the casino and by the hotel on the way was only $13+. train ticket cost me $39. But since i refused to pay an extra $20 to sit in the business class section, no wifi will be available on the train. i can do without it for those 4 hours. as long as its not too crowded and i dont have to sit next to anyone i dont want to sleep with, im happy.

im sure PPP knows i didnt post that tweet that cost me $100 on purpose?

i wish i knew how to fight, i wouldnt be afraid of getting in everyones car and i wouldnt alienate and piss off the people i care about most. and also those im just beginning to get to know too.

also i just learned that booking.com seems to be a much better reservation site than orbitz. am still afraid of getting a motel in the wrong area if i use pricelines name ur own bid to save money.

once i get to my final destination, im not sure if i feel like checking out what games are going at a different casino, or just relaxing in my room i had to pay for so i wouldnt worry where to store a suitcase at. it will depend on whether i get any sleep on the amtrak. had the amtrak went to vegas instead of putting u on a bus into bakerfield on the way (and out of the way too i think) id have booked a different train, for what i really want right now is to just go home til my lease ends.

once it ends, i really want to be in a small town, nice apt living close to a casino, pensacola or reno, just something low risk and low cost to avoid a lot of drama and stress over money. $17 an hour is extremely well and i miss the ease of earning that in reno.

Friday, November 21, 2014

Los Angelos trip status so far

I didnt really pick the best time to go to los angeles, im wasting money, and i shouldve waited til after Koala left town, after i seen lightning, and after my lease in vegas expires. But i did want to find a game i could average $20+ per hour in LONGTERM as soon as possible.

Im still down about $400+ at poker since coming here, most all of it in the $20-40 stud game the ONE and only day i played it, and id be slightly ahead had i not played it. but im out more than that, ive paid money on cabs and the motel room for a week, so im down quite a bit more than $500. in fact way more.

Barely holding onto about $16,200 left and i was slightly over $17k when i arrived. But still im far better off than i was the last time i was in cali. am thinking i should soon settle down in either reno, Pensacola, or St Charles MO or Baltimore and just do nothing but grind good poker games. something away from too much variance, and i guess one VBJ loss that didnt happen might actually mean i did ok by coming to los angelos.

Today i spent the day at Hawaaian gardens instead of Commerce to check it out, and one of the host props for the PLO game dropped me off at my motel saving me from waiting til 5.28 am for the bus. but id been far better off financially had i got the last bus out at 10.50pm.

i started off the evening up $270 (won 3 out of 3 $100+$10 double up sngs). and then gave back mostly all of it in the $1-3 PLO PLO8 mix. Dudley the host claims he beats it for $20+ per hour not counting his salary, and i assume id do as well given enough of a sample size.

was hoping to see steve but he never showed up, he said he couldnt get a ride.

I am strongly considering returning to vegas soon as possible til my lease is up, i might cancel the trip to lake elsinore or Ventura, or maybe go ahead and do it tomorrow. i might as well be sitting in vegas (with rent paid in los angeles til sunday) as be in Los angeles with rent paid up in vegas. whats the difference?

also feel like the tooth will need taken care of soon too. i feel a slightly bigger size holes. also the fridge in this room and microwave arent the best.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Up the street from the Commerce a few miles

safely arrived in Los angeles, and just got thru paying for a hotel room. with a roll of still over $16,600. Going to play a few oldtime games where i think my hourly is a lot better than the measly $12-13 hourly of $1-2 NL holdem in vegas. Games such as $20-40 stud, and $1-3 PLO PLO/8 mix.

this is the first time ive ever been in the los angeles area with nearly this much money and the first time i could ever really afford to give these games a fair try. also i notice a weird structure on the bravo. $300-500 buyin NL omaha high?

glad the wifi works fine at my hotel, and im not sure whether to try and fall back asleep or head on over to the Commerce now. right now im relaxing in front of the AC, but wish i had some food in my room which i dont. the fridge here isnt all that big.

and of course i left most all my things in vegas, since im planning on returning in time to see lightning. I shouldnt feel tied down to staying there and playing bad games simply because my rents paid up, why would anyone think that?

a vacation away from the VBJ machine would do me some good. i never mentioned this, but one of the days i had a $500+ loss on the VBJ recently was on a machine with quite poor payouts shuffling every hand, and i knew better than to play it. id like to see how i do playing nothing but poker for the entire week im here or so.

i wouldve liked to see Koala, i dont know if anyone told him of my twitter post, but all i really meant was i felt affection for him as a friend and he was special to me as is all my other friends. had i not felt uncomfortable giving out my room number where i stay, which no one knows, id have invited him in to use the restroom.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Worried ill end up losing everything back and going broke.

So i need to be either making money from VBJ or from playing poker, or from both. my win rates back to under $13 again. I lost over $1000 at Tortoise Rock casino in 29 Palms. the info i got about their machine wasnt up to date, and then i had to pay for Novs rent too so im back to the $16000s again, and i feel like my savings is slowly draining away. i feel more like im living off it, than any current income.

when my time is up, i still think im better off just going back to reno or anywhere i can make at least $15 an hour playing poker. and i still really want to spend some of this on medical care too. I not only want to get that done, as old as im getting most people think i badly need to get that done or ill be in poor health.

I really should be sleeping, but its important i update this blog, its been so long since ive updated it and theres a lot to talk about. mom still dont have a debit card, so i had to waste a ton of time ordering something online too and it took a ton of time since i didnt know certain old billing addresses they claim didnt match. so i paid a different way.

at least ive got their Christmas taken care of and out of the way now if i were to lose $5000 or so and couldnt afford it, thats off my mind. and i should get myself a jacket or coat too. i might need to travel there and back for Christmas but it might be way too much trouble and its not really worth maybe it costing me up to $1000.

my expenses are quite high, im counting food, transportation (including lots of cabs plus a monthly bus pass) phone, rent, and im coming up with a figure no less than $1700 a month, and no more than $2000, not including miscellaneous or recreational.

so i really either need a less expensive and much more unsafe place to live, take more buses which puts my life in more danger also, or somehow find a way to increase my income. my hourly is now back to barely over $13 an hour counting last nights $239 win at planet hollywood.

i must remember to NOT buy size 34 pants. for years i wore size 30 or 32, and the last time mom got me pants i was size 36 at her house a few years ago. seems i am again size 36, and one of the 2 new pairs of pants ive bought since moving out of reno was 34 instead of 36 and the pockets and the pants just arent big enough and it bothers me every time i wear them.

and i dont think i can rely on VBJ to live on long term. casinos will cut me off if im winning, or else change the paybacks to make it unbeatable, (example being circus removing the good VBJ and replacing it with a bad one at slotsoffun, and the river palms (dottys) in laughlin doing the same.) also the pioneer cut back on the cashback, the Tropicana changed it from a $2-100 spread to a $3-25 spread, which of course isnt beatable.

and i dont know what my vegas hourly is or how to find out since its all combined as one big total. but i know i was over $17 an hour in reno, and now that ive passed 940 hours its down to $13 an hour here in vegas, so i wonder if my vegas rate is really much less than that?

its a good thing i had so much good luck in the month of Oct. im glad the wins and losses fell in the right order for a change. ive talked to Koala on the way back from 29 Palms cali about my poker game and how to improve it. he seems to think i can depend on winning at VBJ to get by, but i dont agree.

I was relieved to make it back to vegas alive and safe after coming to laughlin to meet Koala and make the drive with him to 29 Palms california. i hope he dont regret not leaving my body out in the desert when he had the chance. He trusted me enough to loan me $2000 while on the trip so i wouldnt need to use an atm.

we went to investigate a certain VBJ machine that supposedly paid back 100% plus whatever u get counting, but the rules were changed on the machine since, to make it pay back a bit less, plus i was also told the machines usually is empty and that also wasnt the case. there seemed to always be at least one person on it, and usually the same old man, but he wasnt playing correctly and also makes the side bet (sucker bet) every hand.

not only that the cashback wasnt really 30c on every $100 as was claimed. i ran far far more than $1500 in total bets thru it, yet only got $5 back. i asked about this, and couldnt get a clear answer. truth be told unlike NV casinos, i dont trust the honesty of an indian casino out in the desert they can do whatever they want to anyone.

have heard some bad stories about other court cases regarding seizures of peoples money whove won at VBJ, etc.

i was also told of 2 other machines beatable VBJ over 100% but they were too far away to investigate and still will be done some other time. one is way out in NM. and theres not exactly compatible to motels.

theres a great poker room at this Tortoise rock casino though. the game starts at 6pm, goes til sometime in the middle of the night, and was quite loose. and the really important thing for those of u living in los angeles, is the rakes much better than where u live. u see, if the pot is less than $14, all they take is the $1 jackpot and no rake. the commerce would be taking $6+. i was told by the guy who mentioned the VBJ they didnt have poker--but they do have poker.

and here some interesting reading material on twitter. its by a las vegas cabbie, google the words #ivyphone. this cabbie has no ethics anymore than the one who lied about waiting outside for me, but its funny shit and the guy he fucked with his ethics certainly arent no better and he certainly isnt the guy id stand up for either. and speaking of cabs i need one i can trust on a regular basis. i hear Uber hasnt got approved yet and they might charge simply outrageous fees.

i do feel bad for delores i wish she was with me instead of the guy who ripped off the cabbie. but i dont know for sure if he ripped the cabbie off intentionally, maybe he thought the girl was going to pay him. reading all of this he posted off that guys phone he kept certainly helps people understand why i feel the way i do regarding certain type of drug and hooker pimp relationships.

surprised Koala hasnt posted a trip report of him own, but he claims the Orleans is having trouble with getting his internet connection working. he will be there til he leaves and he no longer has a car.

i wasted about 4 hours this morning winning $18 in the $1-5 stud at samstown when i shouldve came straight home from P-ho and slept thats why im tired. i feel bad theres no hand histories in this issue of the blog, but i dont remember them now.


Saturday, November 8, 2014

VBJ swings.

I must say, am quite relieved ive recovered from the $381 Wynn poker loss (and subsequent $1700 drop on the VBJ machine at the Palazzo) all in the same day. that briefly had taken me down to the $17,000s from the $19,000s, and now im back in the $19,000s again

Yesterday morning at the El Cortez i was briefly down almost $1100 on the VBJ machine, that should be impossible to lose much at when im getting 100.61% payback even without counting. But i got lucky on one huge key hand spread out max back betting and max front betting on 4 spots for $700 total and took off from there. By the time i left the El Cortez i was ahead over $1200 instead of behind.

So when i left the El cortez i went straight to the Post office, sent my mother the $140 she wanted ahead of time for my sons Christmas, and then to the bank to deposit both of the 2 previous days limit of $1000 withdrawals, along with a little bit more. Then after that was done, i walked to the Golden Nugget and lost $181 in the poker room, probably was too tired by that time to still play good poker.

i was on the bus to a different casino on the strip tonight when suddenly i noticed on Bravo live there was a $1-2 PLO game at the Venetian, so i decided to go there instead. there were only 4 when i sat, eventually it got to as many as 7, but the last hour before it broke we were back to 4. i was adding slowly to my original $100 buyin and eventually was in for $287 total. finally scooped a big pot with the nut straight that held up on the river, and was briefly over $450. by the time the game broke, i was only up $2.

went and sat in the $1-2 NL, and had to wait a long long time for a move to an end seat. But i did finally scoop a big pot and suddenly was up to over $650. 4 of us called a huge overbet of a little less than $50 preflop, and im lucky the one guy didnt reraise with his QQ, or id have folded my AK since i didnt have the $47 invested yet, but only the $12 original raise. him and i were both scared of the asian regular who cold called the $47 having aa, but we never seen his hand.

flop comes AT2 all in spades and my K is a spade, and so is the other guys QQ. he bets the flop small, i raise allin, and he calls and i win with a flush on the turn. and i took off from there, and eventually left with $1086. enough to get my hourly rate back to $13+ per hour from being all the way down to $12+ per hour. at one point i was even over $1108.

found out about some VBJ machines dealers angels in quite isolated locations outside NV id rather no one knows where they are. But then again, not sure if i should go play, i also heard about a court case in AZ where 3 players winnings on a VBJ machine were seized. and theres not really a casino hotel to earn comps at either at any of these 3 locations.

i still kind of wish i was with Koala on his road trip down south, but then again, my lease isnt up yet so i cant move just yet. I still feel like though i need to be depending on poker for my wins in the long run. ive basically only won at VBJ lately due to pure luck.

its a good thing ATM machines only allow $1000 to be taken out per day maximum, and some are even less than that. it kept a possible loss of $5000 down to a bit over $2000. (all the cash i had plus the max withdrawal). so i was able to earn it back since.

Monday, November 3, 2014

Why am i so much better off financially than the vast majority of americans? have the poker games gotten that much easier to beat since the mid 2000s? or have the casino games, such as BJ got much easier to beat?

I should be out celebrating the way other people do it (by spending money on themselves). yet old habits die very hard, and i just cant hardly bring myself to spend any money for fear of starting a big freefall. only thing im able to bring myself to spend money on all the time now unlike in the old days of me as a kid is taxicabs. and thats mainly for my comfort and my peace of mind going home after dark.

Mainly what i should be spending money on is medical and dental care. eye exams. teeth exams and extractions. A complete physical and a good inspection of my scalp. And of course, since all my clothes look quite used (and are) a lot of shirts and pants should be bought NEW. i still dont have nearly enough pants, am always having to wear pants longer than i should.

Since i have a nice steady safe long term place to live, i can start owning far more things than i used to own. ill never want to leave the place im in now as long as i am in vegas. Im renting from the right landlord, a nice upper floor in a secure building, and in a fairly good part of town as far as being convenient to certain buses and shopping.

and i keep winning. Tonight i started off wasting my time and my bankroll by losing $47 at Terribles in the $2-4 game with Tiger Valdez, but then i walked to the Hardrock and proceeded to get it back, plus $669 more. so i finally have a roll in the $19,000 now for the first night ever. i was even winning $100 more at one point.

i made a lot of poor plays because i was worried id lose my entire stack to one of the 2 guys who had me covered from cali. once i just called on a flop of 10 3 5 offsuit when i had QQ, and saved a lot of money by doing so. the one guy bet $10, the asian guy makes it $25, and i only called after raising preflop. (i dont even remember for sure if i did that). turn comes K, asian guy checks, i check, and the one guy who lives in vegas bets $40. asian guy calls and i call. river comes 8, asian guy checks, i check, same guy bets $50. asian guy calls, and i feel like i cant win but call. asian guy has 53 for a flopped 2 pair, and the winner had KT for 2 pair on the turn.

i dont think i played it the best but by pot controlling it the way i did, i saved money. it wasnt a table i couldve made either of them fold.

Herbie was in there briefly, left to go to Hooters but told me Koala was no longer in the game. earlier id got a text he was playing.

the other regular with the huge stack had already left, and at one point he had well over $1500 on the table. but he is the guy i beat 3 times for big pots to get so many chips in the first place. he called every one of my shoves, and i won all of them.

it feels good to be doing so well, but why am i getting all this money so late in life when im old and no longer desirable by young women? instead of in my early 20s and 30s where it couldve done me a lot of good, and radically changed my life? shouldnt be easier to win now--and it makes no sense.

sure i play better, but so does everyone else. and why do i have about $7000 in winnings for the last $70,000 coin in at video bj? thats about 110% payback.

When i was young and lived in Toledo, maybe Ray will remember the story of the fire department incident with the married lady i met online who wanted to fool around who was a few years older than me back when i was young and good looking. i sure didnt remember him ever telling me dennis pulled a gun on him. But he acted like i shouldve known about it.

Dennis didnt even know who Nick was, and that surprised me -- the toledo nick that is.

anyway, about the fire dept story. i met a girl online, and she wanted a guy to come fool around at her house while her husband was at work. id seen her twice before at her house while he was gone, and i wanted to come over but was afraid he might be home. now as we all know, i had more emotional health problems at that age than now, and i did some weird choices (such as how i got the felony). and riding a bicycle around nude.

so i called the fire dept, claiming there was a fire, (figuring if he was home hed come out, and if only she came out, id know she was alone and it would be safe to come knock on the door). this was long before the internet was invented by Al Gore. However it didnt work out so well, and after that, i never got to see her and she lost interest. also her husband had tons of questions as to what was going on.

But yeah  -- all this money makes me nervous and until i have a casino safe deposit box--im not comfortable. sure its safely in the bank for the most part--but what if it got seized there? i sure couldnt ever go to the emergency room with all that in the bank id get sued.

the vast majority of people u run into every day are broke and fuck, and getting quite desperate for money. and its going to get much worse when the dollar crashes and everything else. the govt wont be able to function and send out checks, there will be riots, etc. Banks will crash and be unable to access deposits. prices will skyrocket. there will be 1000% inflation monthly as in Germany in the early 1930s.

so i dont feel safe when im not at home. Especially walking thru parking lots at night filled with drunks, drug addicts and homeless people. and all society wants to do anymore (people under 30) is to vote to have more legal drugs, more of a decline in morals and values, make families less valueable, etc and all because Gods been kicked out of the schools and replaced by the horrible evils of multiculturalism, diversity and political correctness.

a very large percentage of the population of las vegas, has either no home, no money in the bank, no job, no car, and depending on loan and pawn stores to survive, or on the govt.

and ill never feel safe. i feel like the only way to reverse things is to vote republican en masse. i seem to feel like i can only identify with people i can relate to like myself in the same boat, and i feel like that fits fewer and fewer people. a lot of times i cant even relate to Ray as much as he is like me and believes my mom is right. which is why i cant find a good woman. im too repulsed my the vast majority of thems worldview and beliefs of whats wrong and whats right cause mine are a lot different. what young people today find normal, i tend to find as repulsive and offensive.

for example, i cannot stand the one ad always playing on the TV in the taxicabs which feature a young girl in a casino who works for tips being bisexual. its the same ad that then comes into the card sticking to the outside of the window torn corner. that rings a bell, uve seen that ad, right?

--and now for the story of the 57 of clubs.

This was a hand from the previous day, and i raised with it on the button to $15, i hadnt had much to play. got 3 callers dammit. flop comes 68T and im not too unhappy with the flop. they all check, so i felt obligated to bet but probably shouldnt.

turn puts up a possible heart flush and hits my straight with the 9. guy bets, guy calls, and i call. river comes J, and guy checks, other guy checks, and im thrilled to see it get checked. i had only $46 left.

the second guy who checked had almost the nuts, a king hi flush. why he checked there ill never know. was so dumb since i wasnt betting no matter what and was calling no matter what.

i see this situation come up all the time a guy wont bet a hand he should. because his checking simply does me a huge favor. often im not going to bet no matter what and will call all bets no matter how much, yet people still try to checkraise. it feels so dumb. why are people so dumb? explain their thought process on this hand.

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i do wonder if its been a good thing ive opened up my game? i still havent opened up my 3 bet range, and i seldom even do it with JJ. would like ideas how to open up my 3 bet range