Wednesday, July 31, 2013

are people who do NOT hit and run anytime they get ahead a donkey or no?

well, so far Josie's been quiet, and so have most others about that $1400 job training offer, and who says id be $20k in debt instead of just the $1400?

really dont know what i should do, didnt think about a huge debt when i first thought it was a good offer. what id really like is to have the same offer somewhere other than San diego, where i could still get help getting a sizeable amount upfront (wonder how they get away with that) but somewhere else where people like SI and lightning (who work at colleges) would see i get the best education possible, and possibly more money and room and board covered so i wont be homeless. u see if i got $1400 tomorrow id still be homeless, and then id have a large time commitment to studying too. and how do we know if this is a school that helps people get good jobs, or really just takes the govt aid and dont do all that much to help u later on? so where should i go and do something like this? would appreciate a much better offer with housing if SI and lightning know how to do it and also how to get the money QUICK. some of the posters seemed to think i could get a better deal with a better college, but why assume this college sucks?

all i know is i need sleep immediately somewhere. i am mad i had my $40 at barona up to $75, and didnt immediately hit and run on my BB. if i had, my roll wouldve been $713 instead of $638. i stayed, thinking i was doing the right thing, because the table seemed to not be playing well, and i felt i was playing my best. isnt that what most of u say i shouldve been doing all last year?

then i lost a pot with AA, a guy makes it $11 preflop, another guy calls, i shoved my $72 and a shortstack calls with $35 allin both the original 2 fold, which surprised me. (seeing one of them also had less than me). flop comes KQT and he has KK, and i knew i wanted no face cards on the flop. so i ended the hand with $37 and pissed. but i again kept playing since i felt i was still playing well, and the others werent.

and then i lost the rest shoving preflop with AQ after the guy whose running hot and bluffing makes it $12 in EP, and i push my final $26. only he calls, and he has 77. so we are 50-50. he says he has a pocket pair, and the flop comes A47 so i am feeling good knowing he has a pocket pair, but it was the wrong pair. then i left pissed i didnt hit and run earlier.

normally it wouldve been a good idea to stay, but should my micro bankroll made a difference? i dont fucking know, but i do need to hide and sleep. or i wont be up in time to take the 815 back into downtown san diego. (actually el cajon and then some trolley rides or bus rides). giving back the whole $75 makes me sick, thats way too much money to lose in a poker game if u are someone who depends on winning to survive. maybe i should do all my playing at the village club in the omaha? i just felt it would be a more unsafe area to sleep at night in any shopping center near there. and that game in sacramento sounds good, the guy on 2+2 claims he beats it but he beats it buying in $100 in it instead of $20, so not sure why NCKPA says the rake isnt beatable. the guy on 2+2 is "i make posts"

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

daily update

im not going to post anything because i was too upset last night about the results to post, had no way to get online til i got over to this starbucks today, and new roll is just under $600 after paying $6 here and a daily $7 bus pass. but that game isnt beatable. the rake is just too much, and i dont trust any of the dealers but 1.

i need to try the sink or swim method and i also need to get a lot further north. tried again to call and find out about the tour bus to Jean, and they said they only do groups. yet i know theres a bus with a lot of the same people on it i was told by the passengers before picks up somewhere downtown or in gardena near the normandy. the one with all the elderly black passengers. i would so much appreciate finding out where to board it at.

also found out about a game at the lucky derby in sacramento $20-100 buyin. too bad im not around that area of cali. and i need all clean clothes again or to go hunt and find that suitcase near el cajon. should be doing all the work today instead of playing while ive got the daily pass, and use it getting back up as far north as i can with the pass, which would be oceanside. lots of kids in here with laptops, some of whom look homeless. id sworn this one guy who looks like 12-14 but must be 18 was with his mother til they started making out. she must be 18-25 but looks 30.

the reason i gave Josie the mod powers to delete anything i say when mad was i know someday ill say a lot of terrible things in this blog ill regret, threats that will get me in serious trouble with the law. am really about to snap because i feel im being cheated just because im too broke to tip and yet i gave out a $7 tip just the day before, and a $1 tip when i got $50 ahead shortly after i sat last night before i then lost heavily all night. found a huge box to hide out and sleep in all night around spring valley.

also my phone shutoff is about to happen, the $219 past due, they are started to call me and im afraid if i tell them the truth they will know they arent getting anything so will shut it off sooner. i worry if they shut it off where i cant get codes ill lose access to my google blogger acct.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Paranoia is destroying my mind, and my relationships

i don't know whether i should call today a "good" day or a bad "day", but i am upset about one thing, i no longer think this $1-3 stud hilow game is beatable. having 50c a hand taken from antes and the antes dropped if it reaches 4th street is just too much, because its $3+1 max and thats no matter how small the pot is as long as it gets to 4th street.

u see, this is the 2nd time in a week ive been in on the BBJ. the first time it was a players share of $80. today it was the BIG end, for $267, when i lost 6432A to a wheel. the jackpot never gets very big in stud. and yet i arrived at the casino with a roll of only $636, and left the casino with a roll of $733, and i wont have that when i leave here cause im sitting at Dennys 24 hour eatery so i can use my laptop. Killing time on seals with clubs with about 240 chips there, worth about $21, and no that isnt part of my roll.

How does someone win $267 in a BBJ, and yet leave the casino winning a bit less than $100 in profit? i am now seriously of the opinion thats too heavily raked and anted. the people who have actually played stud8 with me, such as cooldave, know i beat the game overall. Same game i used to play on pokerstars and party poker years ago in Montana. and i still see plenty of bad play with hands i would NEVER consider staying in with on 3rd, such as 2 lows and a face card.

u see, $90+ an hour is coming off the table, plus the jackpot $1. and they take $1 more at $30 for the jackpot, didnt realize that was legal, thought cali didnt allow it to be based on pot size at all. $90 an hour is A WHOLE HELL OF A LOT for a $1-3 hilow limit game. anyone who claims the opponents are better than me really dont understand math very well either. its the rake. using Frosty stink Mitts logic, the $2-4 fixed limit game (against the weakest opponents) would be more beatable per hour than a normal $1-2 NL game. Since he claims its not the rake, but the difference between u and ur opponents. anyone knows this argument falls flat on its face.

so the real issue, if the game isnt beatable, then what the hell do i play and where? yeah id be better off outside cali, but its nice and cool here at night compared to vegas (in the 60s mostly) and anywhere else wouldve cost more to travel to. Plus theres smaller stakes games, that Phoenix and FL dont offer to my knowledge. i dont have the money to play normal games and stakes, and i feel ive been overly lucky in the $20 NL to beat that rake. and i keep feeling like i cannot afford $40 NL even though i currently have 18 buyins. im still not wanting to spend ANY of the money for gambling, (or for living expenses) what i want to do is lock up the money in a hole in the ground and just panhandle all day long til the roll gets back over $1000. i know that would be the "responsible" thing to do, but it sure wouldnt be very enjoyable, so i cannot discipline myself enough to do it.

another thing, i keep thinking the dealers are cheating me. why? because they think im not going to tip (even though i gave out a $7 tip today) and that dealer was actually glad to see me win it, cause she knew how much i needed the money--we talked after the game the day before. alot of dealers are
like JG, without a Christian bone in their body, and only concerned about their own financial needs and no one elses. And stud is the easiest game for a dealer to cheat in, especially the old time dealers whove dealt for years in underground games. its so easy to fix it so someone gets nothing but bricks when its obv they are going low. easy to hold out a face card and make sure they get it, or to make all ur low cards go to the player next to u, who keeps hitting them like crazy. Even JG, she told me the dealers will be trying to fix it so i dont win because i cant afford to tip every hand. so why shouldnt i be paranoid? the odds are too remote for me to get so many bricks day after day by pure chance. i even lost rolled up 888 to 1 opponent who starts with Kc and 2 more clubs, who backdoors a low and a flush.

so its very easy for me to sit there angry all day. angry because the dealers are too dumb to realize im one of the better tippers when im not broke. this is evidenced by all the times i gave $5 instead of $1 when my roll was riding high. i specifically did that so one day when i went broke, they wouldve already been  prepayed ahead of time. even AKgal (a dealer) told me before my tip was quite generous up in OR 1 day years ago when i won a tourny for about $900 and gave about 10%. if i am winning good i always take care of the dealers, but i sure dont feel much like it when im losing my fucking ass, and i feel like its no ones business anyway.

we all know that when i have money i give it away to everyone, way too much of it in fact, thats been my downfall in the past. it has a lot to do with why im in such pitiful shape now, (i never put my needs first). Only my wants. JG knows i offered a woman a place to live free and clear, no strings as to what the other person had to do and whether they gambled or not. if i was rich everyone would be happy with me, as much as i would do to raise money for those i feel i could relate to who function like me (wanting to rely strictly on gambling at poker but underrolled). and that has a lot to do with why i see nothing wrong in getting the same in return from others.

yeah dealers would make a lot more than a flat $1 a hand if everyone used my system for tipping. NOTHING on rolls of under $2000, $1 a pot up to $3000, $2 a pot up to $5000, $3 a pot up to $10,000 and $5 a pot on any roll thats higher. that way the rich pay their fare share. and there are so many players with a roll that high they would come out far better off.

a wise man once said "from everyone according to his ability, to everyone according to his need". thats the system Jesus used and one we should put into place today. Karl Marx had the right idea, but his hatred for God ruined everything and the lives of millions.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

bad news

new roll $582, and of course, no room tonight. im starting to wonder if the smallest games are really beatable in the long run? but even if they are not, i certainly shouldnt be losing more than like $3 an hour either. wish i had a place to go to grind online poker.

I think i need that ticket from KOD immediately, but i have no phone i can use to contact him. i also think i need to get out of here if i cant make money grinding this game like i originally thought. lost $192 in it, and i havent touched the machines.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

how to solve my long and numerous lists of problems that are extra unique

well most of the day was wasted, trying to do what OTHERS wanted me to do but i did learn a few things. one, i learned where theres a motel for $165 plus tax a week in an area that i didnt think was that horrible. not that id be able to afford it unless i had at least double the $753 im still hanging onto. also i learned calling social agencies is pretty much a waste of time, and it seems like the card club on H and Broadway near palomar stop no longer exists. and ive learned theres only 1 bus here that u can make money riding but u have to get 15 points in to get the $10, unlike Pechanga which gives it out upon arrival. lots of shuttles all over the area to the casinos some near apt complexes i wouldnt mind living in had i came here when i still had the large roll. there seemed to be other homeless folks on some of those buses, or sure seemed that way

i wouldve never wasted that large roll had i known how tough rebuilding would be. was winning so much at poker at the time i was wasting the money on machines i didnt think id ever get in this bad of shape. what angers me is that no one understands why im in bad shape and dont realize that it was my machine play instead of the poker play. this is what gives me the determination to stay off the machines in the future.

also, im still grinding online, hopefully on UP soon when omaha is added, and on sites like seals with clubs. but not really any money in there right now, if i had a steady cheap room, id deposit and do it more often. a good place to learn of which online sites to play at, or improve ur poker game, is by using the guide. they have a pretty good forum too with a wealth of information, that will help my game if i desire. Online poker will continue to be a good way for a micro stakes grinder to grow a roll when it gets down to about nothing.

and it seems that panhandling is easier here than vegas, i spent about 40 minutes asking near a shopping center close to the trolley and the casino shuttle while waiting and made $4 plus some change so maybe about $5.50. the reason people give more here is there are so many mexicans, who are much quicker to give than any other ethnic group

so i went to one social agency today, and it ended up being a waste of time since her supervisor said i wouldnt qualify after she had already promised me a shower and a change of pants. so i never got the shower in. was sent to st vincent d paul downtown, filled with the very type of people i was avoided block after block in a row and all kind of different shelter type places, none of whom did more than feed me, and i waited in line a mile long it seemed to eat just curious to see how good the meals were. a lot more than when i lived at st vincent in toledo years ago once. they claimed they dont do showers so i was lied to again, and they sent me to the neil good day center 2 blocks away. and when i went there they said first i have to go thru intake at 1pm and get one of their ids, and that they stopped giving out showers today at 11. they also said there is no privacy or security for my things while taking the shower. so many people there who looked untrustworthy id be afraid to shower there, what i need is a cheap hotel room by the week and a source of income.

no one should have to stay at a shelter anyway, people should take others into their homes as long as they arent addicted to drugs and stealing. thats what friends and family are supposed to be for. if i had a home, and a friend on the streets, i sure wouldnt expect them to go to a shelter, id ask them to come stay with me. so because i would do that, i feel like i have every right to expect it of someone else. i spent a ton of money years ago giving it away to Lorna and Britni back in the good old days of stars and party poker.

and it seems that panhandling is easier here than vegas, i spent about 40 minutes asking near a shopping center close to the trolley and the casino shuttle while waiting and made $4 plus some change so maybe about $5.50. the reason people give more here is there are so many mexicans, who are much quicker to give than any other ethnic group

i know the amounts i gave away, and also loaned to some guys that screwed me over, were more than what i got in SSI in later years, so ive got no idea why people think i lived off the SSI. i lived off the poker winnings. even if i cant be a winning player today, i certainly was in the past, and what makes it so hard to believe im not anymore.

and ive got a poker hand to post for u. i know i cant afford to sit in the $40 NL game with so few buyins, but i did it anyway here at viejas, did the free $10 bus promo and ended up down $1, u can still lose because u need to earn 15 points. but its a good overlay, ur expected loss is about $3 at about 97% payback and my  machine was better than that.

so i sit down, and wait for the button to pass to save $3, which the whole table knows, in the TIGHTEST game ever at viejas, the only table going, $40-200 NL. within the first orbit, i make it $8 with TT hoping for no calls. one asian calls who seems to be the loosest player from the previous few hands i saw, calls, and then a guy with about $50-75 shoves allin. i think he might just be doing it because of me waiting for the BB to pass, and ive no idea how he plays. so i call and the flop is 93295 i like the board but he has KK. another player said with my stack i got to call the raise, but im not sure. do i need to call my other $32?

and also i was right where the cardroom is supposed to be on H and Broadway in chula vista, but i couldnt find it, but they said it hasnt closed down.

i need to get a room for the night but cant bear to be out $40-50 more after tax. and thats low for this area. i really dont know what to do, if i go back into vegas ill still be homeless. i shouldnt play any game bigger than $20 NL except for the stud game. and i dont really call that bigger.

also today i had a hard time finding electrical outlets in restaraunts but i finally found one. and now my laptop is dying any second again. it really needs a new battery
i ended up taking a room for $45, 2 motels up the street said $39 and none of them were honoring the sign and one of the motels had a bit of an attitude. they were actually charging $50 and $55. the one for $45 with NO sign at all outside was across the street, and she too wanted $50 at first. i told her give me ANY room even one with something broken (but not the lock on the door). its a pretty sketchy area it seems. all the women look like crack whores. i only took it because i wanted to shower when i wake up, and then catch the casino shuttle. i feel i deserve a room since i havent had one in so long. actually not a bad room, seems all the rooms here have a fridge and stove. bigger size than expected. speaking of crack whores, a lot of the women on the bus and at the shelter i ate at for lunch look like crack whores too. even the ones on the shuttle some of them look like they are on meth. sure reminds me of carmen and i wish shed hung out before she went to prison. and this one woman so talkative to this other guy at the bar in the casino i was at earlier grinding the bus promo, she was originally gonna sit by me and i said the wrong thing and i wish i hadnt. at the time i thought she was much uglier but when i got a good look at her id been glad to have her around. especially when i heard her talking to the other guy about just breaking it off with her ex and not knowing many friends. thats what i really need. a woman like claudia i can move in with and live with, and is what all homeless guys should have, it really would solve the issue of homelessness and permanently wipe it out. i sure dont screw people over like an addict would. another reason i took it even after todays drop, (now at only $667) almost $100 down counting the motel, is the fact i might soon be adding $120 to the roll if all goes well. i dont know how to talk to women like other homeless guys do who find someone to move in with since i dont drink and thats the type of women who are willing to do things like that.

and after tomorrow i think i should just get back up north. near oceanside or pechanga, better games than viejas thats for sure. maybe even back to vegas if someone will take me in if i go sign up with the place i was going to that i didnt think would help me get the money i need and instead waste my time. i might feel the safest in a shelter in escondido, but after reading about it online it seems they only take those who they consider mentally ill. KOD told me about this place, wonder if he knows that or talked to them by phone.

yeah id be doing quite well if i had the bankroll to live near one of these shuttles pickup points and play daily. so much nicer than riding city busses in vegas, had i known more, id have moved to cali when i was doing well. no idea why i didnt stay as much as i was winning in cali after hitting the jackpot, moving to reno was dumb when i won about $6000 the 3 weeks i was in cali on the way to reno. wec is right about easy games if u have the bankroll. so loose still i can beat them even though in other places players have gotten better. only viejas is tight, not elsewhere, and not omaha games. HG and others even offer PLO high at lower stakes but still not low enough for me. (100-200 buyin). the pechanga or commerce omaha i can easily beat for 1000 a week if i had enough to withstand the variance so of course id never want to give up poker. id have to be a longterm loser to ever want to give it up, and if that was the case i wouldnt hesitate to either give it up or try to improve my game. which of course i should always be doing anyway. thats the whole reason i post hand histories on blogs. im glad to see readership here has greatly increased, used to be like 1000 views and now more like 2000-3000 per post

Sunday, July 21, 2013

southern california trip report for WSOP2007

well i got a long sleep last night,  (better than just the 4 hours i got outside that asian shopping center in westminster) or shorter sleeps ive had on buses and trains. Lucky for me no one found or stole my suitcase and sleeping bag where i hid it by oceans 11 when they werent willing to store it. so i still have it, and im just now coming into san diego itself instead of the far northern areas of it. i felt safe sleeping where i did last night, far away from any visible homeless people, although i saw many on the bus who looked homeless. it was on the grounds of a VA hospital. but i was so far out of the "inner city" i felt safe sleeping there right at the enclosed bus stop. there was also a medical college up the street and a lot of places i couldve hid out at.

i went to oceanside yesterday because they have a special promo going on for those who havent been there in some time. get 6 scans on ur players card (about 6 hours of play) and u get a free meal, $40, and an emtry into a $10k freeroll tourny in sept. its also available for brand new signups too. im glad i hear about it because it got my roll back over $550. (won about $85 there counting the free $40), all of it in $20-40 NL. $1 $1 blinds. slightly lower drop than HG or commerce.

the day before i went to Pechanga, and let me tell u, telling me about google transit and how to use it was the best favor Britni ever did me. ive found it unquestionably helpful but i can also see to access it from the laptop, and not my cell phone. i use it all the time trying to research how to get to various places from practically any location and i dont know what i would do without it.

and the people working as hosts in the motorcoach office at pechanga are helpful too. she helped me get on a different bus back into the LA/OC metro area free of charge when i didnt go back on my original bus.

anyway i went to pechanga because i was looking for a $3-6 omaha game instead of $4-8. seems $2-4 dont exist nowhere anymore. but the problem is theres a kill in all the omaha8 games, so u are actually playing 6-12 so much of the time u arent really saving anything. there dont seem to really be any CHEAP omaha anywhere. hopefully UP will have it soon, by the time im back in vegas.

and yeah that game was wild, thanks to 2-3 extra loose players who did a lot of capping. it was the type of game most good players would LOVE that were adequately bankrolled, because in the long run, that type of game is a lot easier to beat. and u can certainly overcome the rake in that type of game. in the short term however, the variance will kill u if u are on a small bankroll. and thats actually what happened, i missed every low when i had a monster wrap, every high and lost $242 in that game and just couldnt afford to rebuy anymore. which was a bitter disappointment because i was actually counting on omaha8 to be my lord and saviour when i went out to cali. now they play it there with 5 cards instead of 4, which means u are even more likely to want the nut low instead.

i still think if i had the bankroll, that game just like the $4-8 at commerce and a few others in cali, is very easily beatable for $100+ a day for life. but the saying has never been more true that u have to have money to make money, and thats something no one understands. at least not many of the readers of this blog, from what they say in their comments.

and i wish lightning wouldve call me, ive told a lot of people its too hard to type from the cell phone instead of the laptop and i was sitting outside away from the table not playing, and later on was at the bus stop waiting quite a while for the bus to leave. he got upset i said to gfy when he wouldnt call and i dont see why he kept forcing me to talk by text if he wasnt doing anything impt. i was quite pissed because i felt he dont lsisten to what i was telling him, and i dont feel anyone really listens or understands. its because others dont talk to me in person enough, and only throught the blog, even my dearest friends. for example he was claiming i wouldnt be homeless and in this mess had i went to SNMH. thats not true, all that wouldve happened if i went there was they wouldve told me that i needed to go to a shelter, so why bother? i dont want to be in any shelter, its way too dangerous for a white man (or a man perceived as white to black people) to go into any shelter thats not in a very small town far away from the inner city or he will be a target for theft, assualt, all of which is encoraged by Eric holders refusal to prosecute blacks for hate crimes like he does whites.

and last night i actually looked for one around oceanside but none exists. oceans 11 and i guess anywhere around oceanside dont look safe at all for sleeping outside. better to be in a place like lajolla, or any asian area. pokerdogg knows asians dont commit crimes.

i hope today goes well, ill be playing a totally different game today

Thursday, July 18, 2013

man am i pissed with myself

managed to sell an ad for $25, and am in the process of figuring out exactly how to get it to come up, but first want to get this updated. i spent the entire night in TX station, dead tired, because i had nowhere else to go. didnt see any point in calling Vince and offering him $10 when i was stuck and didnt want to leave, and once got briefly within $13 of being unstuck. and of course the other players werent playing nearly as well as me. Now im boarding the bus to cali that i paid $26 for, so i can get 4-5 hours of sleep. have always wanted to visit sandiego but never had a chance, had commitments and a weekly place that i no longer have. new roll is down in the $600s.

I lost $96 at the $2-6 game at TX mostly due to horrible luck, and also a few more calls than normal but still much tighter than most of the others. i felt my game loosening up due to frustration so i left. Also i wanted to make the morning bus so i could sleep. i couldve just as easily won $100-200 in that game. its beatable i think although the rake is high.

but im more ashamed of myself for wasting $45 on the VP machine trying to take a break and get back a few dollars (over 2 installments last night). the first time i was just going to turn $10 of my comps into cash, and ended up playing too much and losing $24 cash too, the 2nd time i was just trying to get that back. that was totally inexcusable but still 2 days i went and played out of 3-4 weeks isnt that bad, but since i have so little money it makes the crime much worse and more stupid and dumb. and im amazed my phone is still on, i am very concerned about what ill do when its shut off, for no way in hell is any of these bills going to be getting paid.

and i know im going to be back in vegas eventually for SSI unless it can be transferred without me losing all the back pay, i dont know how thats handled if u move. but before i return i want to see how i do in much better games always going 24/7 out in cali and if i cant handle the rake, well at least i didnt play too high of limits, wont be on any machines thank God, and if i am feeling too tired to play, get the hell out the door and find somewhere to crash and dont just sit and keep playing simply cause i dont have a room.

u see, this was my leak in the OLD OLD days of the mid 1990s, that and table games, long before i ever would waste any money in VP or VBJ machines.

and i might still need to go home somewhere whereever i can find a ticket there. but insteaed of being in the middle of nowhere in tx, would probably be better in the middle of nowhere in ks near family depending on if she let me stay that long. i can grind seals either place, worry id go broke in tx. are they any agenices in SD to help with autism related ssi cases anyone is aware of that arent for mentally ill people but just normal people with a disability?

one of my biggest worries in cali will be where do i put my suitcases?

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

from vinces house

somehow managed to hold my roll at $763 by spending almost zero yesterday except for a $5 bus pass. (traveling between tx station, santa fe, and the mountainview hospital). i stayed too long at tx station, turning a $95 win at one point in the $2-6 game into only $26 win (game got too shorthanded). i thought since so many were willing to chop 4 handed, id not get hurt as badly. eventually i left to eat with a comp, and use the net a bit while in the restaraunt, and then i remembered the morning omaha8 game at the sante fe.

so i rode the bus there, and it turns out that game dont run everyday and they just wasnt able to get it going that morning, so essentially i went there for nothing. i did verify the wifi works good in the sante fe poker room. they have a much bigger size room than they really need. from there ive been worried about my scalp lately, so i rode the bus to the nearby mountainview hospital at cheyenne and tenaya. yes i know homeless people are supposed to use UMC, but the wait there is so horrible i thought id get treated much faster here. which i did, wasnt in there long at all.

regardless of what others said in yesterdays blog, i dont think that hospital tried to do a good job. the first nurse said there might be a tiny bit of infection but not much, the doctor didnt think so, and they seemed to only want to get me out of there. very few were in the lobby, no one else was homeless. the follow up paperwork they gave me said to see this one dr within 2 days, (but how--its not in an ER) and i never did find out if hes the same dr. and to use Selenium shampoo and to take Benadryil for itching. also to let the Selenium sit for 5 minutes before i wash it out.

and afterwards i spent the whole day sleeping at Vinces house for like 12 hours. Vince hasnt woke up yet, but i think he is taking me to the mental health intake center on charleston road at 7.30, for yesterday he was really wanting to make sure i got that done. he swears ill be getting ssi out of it, and i am just as certain i wont be, especially since the attorny seemed to feel it would do no good. also he says he cant just let me stay over at his place. i am way too broke now to spend anything at all on housing, and with so little money, i dont see myself really beating any game. the smallest of games arent that easy to overcome the rake. But after speaking to several good players from cali who know a lot of other people in a similar boat to me, these asian grinders said the $4-8 omaha at the commerce is quite beatable, and also the $40 NL with $1-2 blinds. they said instead of worrying so much about the rake, to worry more about my game compared to most of the opponents id be facing. now to give them credit, they did tell me NOT to attempt the $20 NL instead.

they also said a lot of info about how to get shuttles from LA to san diego area indian casinos. a lot of which park by the mcdonalds near the bike. i think im safer outdoors near those places further outside the main metropolitan areas, and those games go fairly often. pechanga even has 5 card 3-6 omaha. (although thats not my best game). they also said they knew of homeless guys riding the shuttles back and forth sleeping on the bus for free. (since the casino reimburses the shuttle bus fee). they also said i could catch them from other areas of LA too, such as lakewood. (not far from HG).

i know i dont have enough for housing in vegas, even if i found a place for $100 a week. my money is just too low. i dont have any desire to play machines, only played them once in weeks, and dont have enough for poker unless its an awful small game such as the Tx station game and the omaha8 game at suncoast. or maybe the game at club fortune but its such a long trip. certainly dont have enough for the 4-8stud8 game. antes way too steep. no longer feel i have enough for the V omaha game either, and certainly not enough for any NL. and UP seems to be in no mood to ever add omaha to the mix. so i really cant spend money on anything. i cant think of anything my money is enough to pay for. almost any bill, any expense, any poker game, any emegency, i need about $500-1000 more before i can pay it. essentially it just needs to sit locked up and warehoused. Kind of wish i could sit around moms if i could only get her to let me live there and eat free with $0 and still had a way to grind online there.

so it looks like me avoiding them machines isnt benefitting me any at all because i waited too long to do it. i still think (and im sure others do too) that it wouldve benefitted a great deal had i done so while i still had $3000 or so left. then i couldve grinded either the omaha8 or the NL, and had enough buyins to find out once and for all how id do sticking to only poker. the main reason now i dont have money isnt that i waste it in machines, for that isnt happening. its because i have no income coming in. its because the rake is just too high in the smallest poker games. and the software on UP sucks too much to play more than 1 table because it dont wait til u act to popup the next table. only those whove played on UP can understand this. otherwise i could be homeless downtown, (soon would need a cheap burner phone) and use the wifi at the goldspike. or the wifi elsewhere in vegas. lots of free wifi nowdays, including a lot of burger kings such as boulder stations. lot more free wifi than 4 years ago.

so i guess i should assume id find free wifi in cali too near a lot of casinos or cardrooms?

well im glad i learned all i did wrong when i was losing the $15000. i know now what to do the next time i have even as little as $5000 to make sure i never waste any of it. im not so mad about the losses, as all the money i wasted foolishly. the actual losses i think would eventually come back after enough play. but the money i knew i wasted on poor bets, that will never come back. am so glad i stopped this, even if i only stopped because of running out of money. what will be harder is actually putting this into practice when i do have the money the next time.

i wonder if JJbooey can still offer me that job and if it can be indoor work? i dont feel im strong enough psychically for outdoor work. i almost passed out carrying all those suitcases 4 blocks across the interstate in the heat to mountainview hospital. there was a goodwill donation center outdoors and a guy manning it, and i begged him for a bottle of cold icewater he had in a pack near him, which he was willing to hand me. also i need an income, and hopefully an income of over $400 a week. enough to pay all bills and still have about $200 a week left over so i can start saving up some money to get back to $2000. would like to be able to be indoors all day, preferably sitting at a desk or table and doing similar work to what i did in that mailroom at rl polk back in cleveland for min wage so many years ago when age 20-21.

i am worried about my health now that im old. i dont think im getting adequate medical care since i have no insurance. i dont understand where to apply for the obamacare insurance to get real medical care instead of going to welfare for it. and i know rich people still dont want it because of the way it forces the elderly to end their lives because of the huge long waits for medical care that bureaucrats can deny. and how business hate it because it forces them to lay off so many people since they cant afford the cost. i worry about my eyes because its harder to see smaller print without glasses nearly impossible. i worry about my hearing, but still feel its an unnoticed infection causing this. i worry no one will show up with the shears i was offered and wont see the blog again or even find someone to cut my hair for me. i need a wife. and a place to stay for free

i need someone willing to help me now, and me give them the money back if i get the ssi later on. like mom did in KS. she paid for the dr, and i paid her back double when i finally got the ssi. i wasnt on welfare or food stamps in ks living with her, it wouldve messed up their ssi. so she never had me go apply, just paid cash and had me later repay. ive never felt proud of myself if on welfare or food stamps, but saw ssi as something i deserved for being born with the aspergers and having to deal with being disabled. to me they arent the same. i dont really like having to deal with the govt rules and regulations and i felt it was unfair ssi has them, or required me to be below a certain income. i dont feel it should be means tested.

also whitcolumn said he wasnt going to have any net anymore, i miss talking to him. he was going to see about me getting into the God in Me housing program. i only felt like doing it since the guy in charge plays at texas station himself, but not poker from what Greg told me. and sickcall seems disappeared to NC forever to be with grump, for he never returned to vegas. also PPP never looked me up, just like JG, never would just sit and talk and find out what i wanted to do and how to go about it, i didnt intend to play any poker with them due to the fact i am in different games. and grouchie never did either. cant remember who else is coming to town.

also the nugget wouldnt let me use the voucher. they asked for the id number on it 1644, and they then knew i wasnt the one they mailed it to. its says its non transferable and i didnt think i could use it, but the one who gave it to me insisted i could. so there went those 3 days free. i found out when i called the extension on the letter head to try to reserve it.

what i wish more than anything is that i could pay like $99 somehow and get into an apt for a month. but i dont see how my credit would qualify. or to somehow find a loanshark whod give me $1000 upfront and then kill me if i didnt give him back $2000 when i get the ssi. i would work hard to qualify then. or a job i would enjoy paying over $10 an hour that not too physically hard or outdoors.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013


finally got home from a long night at the Suncoast. man i wish id took the bus right before midnight as the game was first getting short. i was up $101 at one point in the first 2-3 hours of play, and was pleased with myself for riding the bus here instead of playing NL downtown out of laziness. and as the game started getting shorter i sat and kept playing as it got closer to 11pm.

eventually id gave it all back once the game got too short, and i was on tilt when i rebought $500 and continued to take the NL overs button that hardly ever got used, even though as many as 4 out of 8 had it at one point. I knew the whole thing wouldnt be at risk because the 1 remaining kid with NL overs only had about $100+ in front of him. (later after he went broke not to me of course, no one had the overs). it was 3-4 handed for a long long time before i left at 4.40 to get my bus. and i lost almost every pot once that happened. i still dont see how i dropped $400 in omaha8, i dont ever remember losing that much in omaha before. i guess i really am a horrible player shorthanded, and i need to avoid shorthanded games like the plague until i have the money to afford "lessons". But the other day i didnt lose when it was shorthanded, at least not much i gave back that night.

if anyone has a pair of scisssors and can cut my hair, (i dont) i would appreciate it. lots of people think it looks bad. and lots of barbers dont want to cut it because of the bad condition of the allergies on my scalp. yet the doctor once said my scalp will heal better if it has as little hair there as possible.

and it wasnt the rake killing us $1 max and no jackpot drop 5 or less.

i would like to track my omaha and stud8 sessions also but it seems the Poker Income program i installed on my phone limits u to 8 sessions before u have to pay $5.99 for unlimited usage. so i havent been able to track anymore sessions til i find a free program i like again. which is why i had to quit tracking my sessions a few days ago.

u might be wondering, what is the good news? well for one Vince reimbursed me the $20 overpayment to my online bank acct. so im at $956 instead of $936. he actually reimbursed $19.99, i wonder if that was a silent protest? i thanked him profusely as soon as i noticed this on my bank statement.

But the main piece of good news is the fact i didnt play any machines, and reinstated $20 bounty to make sure i dont. This will apply all the way up til August. (unless i leave vegas--naturally if i am in Jean i cant have that bounty of course). I'm going to keep playing nothing but poker until i am broke, and then i dont know whats going to become of me. maybe something will change ive not anticipated if that happens, or maybe ill start winning again and be ok. who can tell? also it seems like UP will soon release the new version, going to have to go check out what i heard about free wifi at the goldspike. the casino is closed and its just a bar with nice wifi now. Large news article about it if u search. too lazy to find the link.

yes i did well not to go play machines once i dropped the first $100. not that it helped any, because i have no business in shorthanded games, but to get rid of that habit its kind of worth losing the roll at poker. because if i destroy that habit, ill be better off someday in the future. also tomorrow i dont know what i can afford with so little cash, but i think ill go to the V so i dont have to worry about the omaha game becoming short.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

I want to go back to Jean, and grind the VBJ machine and live a stress free live. i also want to put some money in a VP machine downtown.

New roll $1356, and of course, not 1 bill has gotten paid. (unless u want to count my room for 4 nights at the golden gate til friday noon). that cost $114 with tax, so i didnt get too bad of a deal. of course, my internet will be shut off anyday, and im sure not paying $9.99 a day for their wifi. also my phone i owe $114 on, and i do not have any idea why its so much higher than i thought it would be. am seriously concerned about these bills, and seriously concerned why i have so little when i was briefly over $1700 after being up in a stake at the V recently.

King of donks is home now, but he did get to meet Tatude finally before he went home. and also tatude gave me a lift to TX station where i got to finally play in the sun nite omaha game there with almost everyone having NL overs, but i not only lost in it, i didnt even get to play long at all, game breaks a lot earlier than i expected it would.

and i moved out of the place by NLV blvd and Craig one night early so i wouldnt have to deal with taking a bus home in the middle of the night when i knew no way in hell would i be ready to both sleep and wake up for checkout before 11, when i didnt wake up tonight til after 6pm. so that cost me $29 extra too (for monday nights room). i need to see about all these weeklies near downtown or near the strip and charleston blvd before friday when ill need one.

and yes im still losing my ass when i play anywhere other than Suncoast. Lost $140 tonight in $1-2 NL at the nugget, and also close to $30-40 more in $2-4 limit. and i was on serious tilt anyway because instead of giving Vince the $16 i offered him for storing some things and taking me there, i accidently gave him $36 and havent been able to reach him since. So with that, (and my room at the golden gate) i was seriously feeling stuck when i first sat. also i wanted to ride a bus to the V and play omaha instead, but the light show was on and the street blocked off temporaly at the bus stop til it ended, and i didnt feel like waiting.

so i left the nugget stuck all that, and decided to walk into the Plaza where im banned (and no one knows why, not even security, just that its in their system). I know this because they also own the LVC and security at the LVC tried to see once why i was banned, and they couldnt find out why, just that some person running the hotel at the Plaza had put it in the system about 2 yrs earlier, so they made me check out of my room there a few years back once. i noticed the VBJ is missing, but the craps still exists, and its also missing from the LVC too. i was looking for the new poker pro electronic tables supposedly in there, but if they exist i couldnt find them. i did play a VP machine for about an hour, and lost about $8. But i still am glad i hadnt touched one in so long, about 2 weeks or more. left without security ever noticing me.

i knew id lose sooner or later, and my expenses would eat me up, and im lucky KOD came to town because it helped get my roll up a bit. But seriously, i need to go back to riding the bus to suncoast and do all my playing there, just do it early enough in the day to where theyres still a game. and i need to be looking around for housing too, but after being out so much tonight, cant really afford anything. i fear things are going to get back after all. But at least i dont have to deal with riding the 113 bus at night anymore after seeing one person with a big knife on the bus drunk out of her mind, and another person flashing a gun in HIS purse. and why did McGee never return to vegas?

and i dont feel i played either hand badly. one hand i had AA, and a guy with a lot of chips (sure were a lot of main event WSOP players playing at the nugget lately) makes it $7 in mid position. i am in the BB with AA. a lady who knows all the famous women pros calls as did one other person. i made it $22 (how much would u made it) with about $68 more behind. they both called. flop comes 349 with 2 spades. i bet $45 and he called, she folds. turn comes 2, and i bet the last of my chips and he calls, river Q which scares me, but he flopped 444. what a horrible call preflop since i was too shortstacked to deny him the right odds. i should have had $200 or more for the call to be correct.

also Vook is in town, but refuses to let me know about it. had to find out 3rd hand.

other hand, i had 10 10 and raised to $10 preflop and got one caller, who had limped in mid position. he is first to act on flop of 268 with 2 diamonds. and checks, i bet $20 and he called. turn is 6, i go allin for about $30 more, and he called. turns out he has 67 of diamonds for a set and flush draw. and he won.

and since im starving, i guess ill walk to mcdonalds and back. not sure what to go play, am afraid to play more NL at the nugget, $2-4 is a waste of time, and i dont really feel like riding the bus to the V. and i cant play UP here. i also found out the Jean machine VBJ does exist at the V, but its a $5 min and a much higher maximum, and it was full so i couldnt look at the rules to find out when it shuffled and if it will show. noticed that when there with tatude and KOD.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

How to better improve my poker results

ok, long overdue blog post, will start this one off with the good news. i am still in a nicer place to live than most, and still have a roll of $1371. Ive paid the rent is paid up thru next tues. also ive won 6 sessions out of 6 in the stud or omaha suncoast game. But the main piece of good news is that ive not played any machines.

now for the news thats not as good. Im not sleeping the right hours, spending more time aleeping than playing poker, and for whatever reason i suddenely cant hear out of 1 ear, maybe its full of wax, but i cant get any wax out. also i keep having to set my computer on a higher percentage over 100% to be able to read the print without glasses. 2 of the pairs of glasses of the 3 i still have, the glasses dont easily stay on and have somehow gotten quite loose. also it only makes it easier to see closeup tiny print, seeing theings further away such as print on the TV is actually harder and i have to take them off to see. But yes the glasses does allow me to see stack sizes and bet sizes on UP.

not doing well on UP either, am back to $146 and at one point i was briefly over $200 several days back. sure will be glad when they add omaha.

I might be able to see Tatude, Kingofdonks, and Cooldave all 3 tommorrow, but for whatever reasons no one seems to be available today, so i guess as soon as i finish this post ill be looking to catch a bus. Yesterday i made the mistake of going to TX station because i woke up with vince up the street saying he was riding in my area picking up Cox boxes and i could ride with him if i was able to leave now, so i did, and he stopped at like 3 homes on the way to TX station and he said Suncoast would be too far out of the way.  so i got there in about an hour, and proceeded to lose $106 at TX, and out $143 at the worst point. i shouldnt have took the overs button, that had to be the cause of a lot of the loss on one hand. actually at 10pm Vince was going to bring me to suncoast and play a little while also, but when we called there was no game but 2-4 still going, so instead he dropped me off on Craig road and i got the bus home.

i read the old 2+2 link, and seems a lot of people both there and here, totally misread how i play, much of whats posted about it is incorrect. Such as the part about being an unimaginative nit. in reality, i play too loose, and try too many fancy plays. (and i blame that on the ones whove falsely assessed my play in the past). I should go back to ABC poker, and stop limping EP with AA, and stop trying to disguise my hand, (all of which is caused by mistakenly thinking others think i play like a nit). u see in Seattle Irish eyes im a nit because i dont play total garbage hands like Q5 offsuit for the extra $1 in the SB in a multiway pot. but no thats not a nit, thats just being smart.

so i had 67 diamonds in EP and i was already stuck about $60, enough to have took the overs button and moved tables to where many had overs to try and get unstuck. i limped the $2, and a guy raised to $8. (i shouldve been paying attn to the fact he raised less often than most). but it was a young guy. everyone folded to me, and i thought id reraise to represent a real monster, so i said $14. he calls, and we are now in NL overs after the flop. Flop comes 358 rainbow. i bet $15, and he makes it $45 (damn) and i call, turn comes Q and he puts me in for the little bit i have left (about $20+) and i call, and miss again on the river. and he has KK. i wonder if he couldve got off had he only had ace high. but i shouldve realized he raised less often than a few others at the table who did it alot.

so yeah i need to do 2 things. stay away from holdem and stick to the games im doing really well at like omaha8 and stud8, and id also like to check out the omaha high game sunday nite at tx, sometimes 6-8 of them have the NL overs. much better game than boulder because the blinds are only half as much since its not $4-8 like boulder is, also u can raise more to protect ur hand, (making it $8 right off on the $2 BB). i have a feeling it can only become more popular as it gets more well known.

also im still wondering about when i should and shouldnt be taking NL overs. i probably shouldnt base it on whether i am up or down for the day. at least ive found a good phone tracking program, and am accurately tracking results now.