wow am i a fool. i had a great fridge that id just paid a $10 tip for, and now i dont even get to use it. and if id stuck to betting small (1 200th of my bankroll instead of the 1%--actually 5% when playing 5 spots--) i dont think it wouldve been possible to bust a 200 unit max bet bankroll, when u realize how seldom id be making the maximum bet. i had the math figured out where im losing 39c on every $100 i run thru the machine. Thats the basic strategy payback for a 6 deck machine with those rules. (before cashback) for every $320 i ran thru the machine, i get $1 cashback and $2 comps. so i should lose $12.48 ($100 x 32) for every $3200 i ran thru it. And for running that same $3200 thru it is $10 cashback, $1 for every $320. so im actually only down $2.48 cash. now $2400 ran thru it gets u the wheel spin all 3 of them. so u can see why all the big money guys were aware of what a wonderful promo it was, and coming in all the time to do it. the wheel spin is usually better than that, sometimes u get $25 or $50 in free play. And this is why Binions is the ONLY casino in vegas so generous with their VBJ machine and their comps, laughlin dont have these great comp and cashback. and is why i never quit playing it no matter what i was told. its because i had faith in the math. But that didnt cause me to have the discipline to not dramatically overbet what i should be betting, or to not get incredibly angry when losing, or having to share the machine. no other type of slot machine do u have to share with others, and i am NOT the type of person that likes to play with others instead of alone. i kept playing a lot of the time after getting the 300 points, because id figured out with the 33c cashback per $100, im really only out 6c for every $100 ran thru it, but am getting back 66c in comps. so i should be getting $11 in comps long run, for every $1 i lose in it. no wonder i kept playing it so much. and i do think i ran below expectation on it quite a bit, but the math was correct and i knew it was only a matter of time til it worked out for me, if only id quit vastly overbetting my roll and risking going broke. and not only that, id been doing so poorly at $1-2 NL the last few months it was often wiping out my poker losses.
so why did i mess up such a great setup? because im a donkey and a fool, and also because i wanted to pain to end, was scared id bet way too much out of sheer anger, and lose everything i had left. When i got banned today, i was out close to $400 on it and the reason i was out so much was i was betting as high as 5 hands of like $27 once and $29 once instead of limiting my bet to 1 200th of my roll, which wouldve been like $13-15. I'm not sure, but i think the math experts who ive talked to who say the 1 200th will never break u, but they mean to bet that much TOTAL per hand, not on 5 hands each. No wonder i was getting so angry and cussing the machine out so loudly when the head of security walked over there, and i didnt realize he was the supervisor, cause the other supervisor wasnt in today. i thought he was just a regular security guard.
so the guy walks up to me and asks me if im okay, and i HATE HATE hate that term. (for the simple fact that NO i am not feeling ok--and that it should be OK that im not feeling ok). When he asks me if im ok--to me that implies that if i am not ok, then im not welcome there. if u are still following me and the way i see things. So instead of me cooling off, and apologizing to him and walking away, i just get more angry. Refused to acknowledge him, and just cashed out and started walking away, into the host office to ask about how much total it was showing im down for the year. because i slammed the door to the hosts office, (or maybe he was planning to anyway?) him and 2 other security guards followed me in there, and i was getting more worked up, telling him he wouldnt have a job if it wasnt for me, and i should be able to fire all of them at will because they worked for me. anyway he told me he was going to ban me and to never come back, and that id also have to give up my room at the 4 queens. i was really getting worked up by then, and grabbed the stapler (great big size) from off Jeff Lewis's desk (host) just so id have something in my hands to relax me. was moving it from 1 hand to the other hand, and the security guys got the impression i was going to throw it because Jeff was ducking like he thought i was going to, and i was NOT going to, sure wasnt mad at him. so they grabbed me knocked me to the floor, and handcuffed me. and brought me in the office in the back. called metro to see if i had any warrants, and i was really surprised nothing came up. Otherwise id went to visit Carmen while in the jail, but i thought i had one for missing a court date. Then they was waiting to hear from a boss in the marketing dept as to what they wanted them to do with me. and about 15 minutes later, after getting a phone call, from someone named wilkerson i think, they marched me over to the 4 queens, down the street still in handcuffs, and to my room and uncuffed me to pack my things, then took me to the hotel desk to settle my bill, wouldnt let me get a comp voucher (still had over $100 in comps) and to empty the safe deposit box and turn in the key. then back over to binions to cash in my slot vouchers id left the machine with, then out the back door and told it was a lifetime ban.
and all of that couldve been avoided had i just apologized and walked away from the VBJ. Couldve spent $1000 a month in comps to live at the 4 queens, for a theoretical loss of $100 if my 11 to 1 is correct, and i cant see where the math is wrong. so yeah i feel like a terrible idiot. but because of my autism, i dont have any good judgement, and my anger at losing was so strong (and at feeling disrepected by the security guard) that i let it get the best of me.
and also i didnt deserve and it was unprofessional, to have the binions security guards calling me geico and saying they wondered if there was a finders fee for me and they marched me thru the 4 queens, wasnt sure if that was said by a binions gaurd or a 4 queens guard. But yeah i made the loss $57 worse, by owing for sun and mon nites without being able to use comps, and its a good thing it didnt happen at the end of a $500 hotel bill. and the whole time i was worried about being violently assualted by security or having all my money stolen by them too.
so this is why i didnt feel like i lied on the blog a month ago or so, because i knew this would eventually happen. I guess in a way i subconsciously wanted to not be able to lose money on that VBJ machine anymore, although i certainly didnt want to fuck up my housing, and my poker playing downtown. im not really sure where to play now, laughlin dont work either due to the machines. everywhere safe in vegas costs way too much, and i dont have the roll for $1-2 Nl. online seems to be the only solution. at least i won over $100 between 2 different sessions here at tx station, and also after paying 2 nights in the hotel, so im back to $2500 from $2400.
and not only that, im embarrassed to tell this to claudia, because i dont want her thinking bad of me and having any second thoughts.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Letter of Amends from a Recovering Liberal in Berkeley
nice article i found elsewhere. my 2nd blog post of the day.
nice article i found elsewhere. my 2nd blog post of the day.
will sure, sure, sure, miss claudia while shes away in NY. sure hope she comes back soon, no one else could i wake up next to every morning that i knew cared about me and did so much for me. even going to the movies and walks around lakes with ducks, exactly the kind of break my readers always said that i needed. and im still only around $3200 and not doing well. find alot more details on the new blog at sevencard2003.proboards.com. i also wish i could talk to Britni about Claudia, i know she would be really happy i found such a good woman.