im doing something wrong

 to be around 30k or less, from over $44k when i left Reno, yes something is very wrong. and by the way for those who dont know, today is my 55th birthday and im back in Vegas. 

i was last here exactly 1 year ago on my 54th birthday. that was the day i took an airbnb at Palms place for a month for $3900. (and is why i didnt ask for a host and room comps the day i lost the $9k because i had no need at the time). i think that happened about 2-3 days after my birthday 

Vince is doing my laundry at his house (at his suggestion not mine) and today i used $66 on my comps at the Palms (food comps only) to have both of us eat the breakfast buffet let me warn u, this buffet does not offer country fried steak and i didnt know that until it was too late. 

at least ive got a working laptop, i was afraid id fried it when it wouldnt charge last night and the old cord blew a blue spark and almost gave me a shock. 

but the new cord cost me $65. Vince drove me to a batteries plus store near his house. 

i still desperately need different sleep hours. im missing out on good superbowl weekend poker action. 7 isnt the time of the evening to be dead tired wanting to go to bed. and that is what i was when Alysia Chang dropped me off at the el cortez to go watch her movie

the trouble started at firekeepers when i lost $1200 and also a little backing Ray, and went to play live BJ to get it back and also blew a few hundred in  paigow on a casino wizard machine. by the time i lost 3 huge hands at the end on a good plus count, i was out almost 6k. 

and things got no better in detroit when i stayed at a hotel by myself when Ray has his car being worked on by his mechanic. As bad as i needed to recover and grow the roll, when i was at Motor city (where everyone must go to the cage to buy chips outside the poker room) when i saw $40 lying on the floor next to the cage i was afraid of being seen on camera to pick it up so i turned it in and gave them my phone number in case it was unclaimed. But doing the right thing didnt stop me from losing. i blew $4400 that day on live $25 3-2 BJ and the rest on poker for about $5k that night. thats why i am no longer over 30k. 

now the day before, i was spotted cashing out over $650 in chips. and this girl who was watching me cash out i seen with some guy but she swore he was her brother (a black guy) but i didnt believe it. and she asked me if i wanted to buy her a drink and i saw him also coming up the escalator behind us but i was too nervous to talk to her. i wasnt even winning and i had over 6k in my pocket and i just wanted to get home. shame i didnt get her number though, but i just felt like she was going to ask for money and it was a setup. worries like these have kept me from ever having a woman in my life. i worried about this when homeless and was offered to stay with a woman. over 30 yrs ago. 

im down to under 27k now after yesterdays huge loss at the stratosphere live BJ and the sahara poker room where i blew another $1400 last night. this is why being in vegas isnt going to work out. wont be here too long. for one thing room prices will go back up this weekend and i have nothing free. 

long overdue blog post since coming to Toledo from denver and chicago.

 I'm paranoid about a lot of things. whether i should go to tomorrows dentist appointment or just disappear, and whether a lot of the desantis supporters i follow on twitter are truly supporters of ron de santis, or just pretended to be because theyre secretly democrats who hate Trump. with the sheer number who still say they will write him in come election day, instead of actually selecting a viable candidate who can defeat Biden (and we have 2 who can if people would vote for them and one of them isnt Trump) isnt too smart. and i lost faith when i saw how many of them actually believed the far left lies about Trump such as the Jean Carroll case. 

and by the way this blog post is LONG overdue. which can be seen by the way u see i started writing the post before last Thursdays dental appointment. i will say the work was painless, but not nearly as much got done as i planned. i spent over $1000 and if i did everything it would cost closer to $3500 and require 3 trips. im more worried about my toenail where theres a lot of fungus and weird growth under the toenail. i will say the work that was done is healing up nicely. one tooth removed that wasnt one of the important ones needed to eat with, and 3 cavaties filled. 

also i never know what to discuss that wont offend most of the readers and the businesses i service, so here are a few weird dreams. i was at a casino where i was banned and was looking over a survey the casino had people fill out as to how to make it better, and i noticed my name on something someone filled out. so i took a close look and i seen it was @justfrank on twitter. (this is someone who does not exist to my knowledge). and what he said was the casino needed to offer 7 card stud, and if i was there playing stud, that i would own everyone at the table. and that he had never met a better stud player than me. (incidently on the way home from Cincinnati tonight Ray and i considered stopping in at Mad river poker in dayton because they had a 10-20 stud8 omaha8 mix going which neither of us got to play in in a long time but since he was too dead tired to keep driving to Toledo if we stopped and we would be behind 6 others waiting, we didnt stop. 

its a shame i got so little of the dental work done, but to do all the work would cost about 3 and a half times as much and id need sedation each time. there is a tooth needing a crown that cannot be lost if i want to eat easily still as many as ive lost already and also they still need a deep cleaning too. 

ive been to a lot of cities in the past 2 weeks and at least Rays car is working somewhat good, though its got over 314,000 miles on it now. still is spending a ton to fix issues with it and we disagree over the wisdom of buying a new car for about 3000 and saving a ton on repair costs. the shortest visit was to cleveland where as soon as we discovered the $20 per hour time charge in the PLO we left within 3 hours for cincinnati. thats about the highest time charge ive seen in my life. im used to $5 per half hour or from $8-13 per hour in various texas clubs. 

and with such a high time charge, the most u could buyin for was only $1000 and the game wasnt very loose. usually in a game with a time fee that high at least its no cap on the buyin. 

and i had a weird dream which involved Koala. we are in a casino and he says the one souvenir he wants to take home to Australia is a KS sunflower. (im looking at a really tall one growing in a huge vase in the middle of the room). and i was heading outside to grab him one off the side of the road. im walking through a huge shopping area inside the casino that looks like a grocery store and trying to find a tomato. 

this was started quite some time ago, (this blog) but never got finished. which is why this is been the longest between blog posts. when i do too much playing poker time, and not enough at home alone time, i write less often. 

today i went and lost $5900 at firekeepers. most of it was lost on live BJ with a decent count on the final hand, where i got unlucky against the dealers 6 with 3 big bets and 2 double downs. some of it was lost between me and Ray at poker, and a little on video paigow. but over 3 4ths of it was all lost on things outside of poker. 

one more dream was i was walking down the street, and i saw a guy being handcuffed with a big cooler and the policeman walking with a weird limp very fast. and i was wondering where him and his prisoner went, and im surrounded by 4 asian guys on bikes who wont let me get away and they keep bumping into me with their bike. then an older lady on a bike rides up and i ask her whats going on and she says that her superintendent sent them to fetch me. 

i am walking with her, and everyone else has disappeared and we sit down on this front porch and she says i am in no danger, and "dont u know? u are one of Gods elect, and that everything is about to change. then i wake up. 

well ive been winning almost all my live BJ sessions up til today, hardrock indiana, hardrock cinncinati, rivers, detroit, etc but todays loss was so huge it wiped it all out plus. i cant believe im down so low now. i just felt it wasnt a good idea for us to play anymore poker neither of us was hitting a hand, but before this, Ray has saved my ass a few times by recovering my losses, and me his a few times. 

im really concerned about all the weird growths under my big toes nail. both vince and ray think i should see a doctor as soon as possible. also now that im finally at 35 instead of 45 i have no idea where to go where i can afford to live and keep playing. 

maybe im better off back in NV texas or shreveport where the cost of living is cheap and there is never an issue with a cheap Uber being nearby. Lightning was right about the driving around being too much of a burden on Ray